What to do?

LegacyUser

Ok I'll keep this brief....

I split up with the gf of 7 years at Christmas - over an odd issue - but the main thing being it was not because we had fallen out of love.

People found out we had split up, including a girl I have great craic with and enjoy the company of. (I suppose its fair to say there has always been a healthy amount of flirting between us without anything ever happening or me even considering anything happening).

Anyway, following a long chat with the gf in late Jan. we decided to give it another bash. The only thing being that I see the other girl seldom enough so when I next saw her the joyful reunion was old news and I guess it never came up. I've only seen her 3 times since then - all on hectic nights on the town. It seems the topic hasn't come up since.

I was out with her last night and she was laying the flirting pretty outrageously. It was only then that I realised she obviously still thinks I'm single.

I need to let her know I'm not single anymore, and haven't been for a while but I can't think of a way to do it while avoiding any of the following unpleasant scenarios...

It comes across as an arrogant "hey, i know from last night that you want me - but I'm with <insert name here> again" (because I'm not that arrogant - plus I'm terrible at reading signs so she might not have been flirting at all)

She reads it as "hey, we've been back together since Jan but I didn't tell you because i still fancied my chances of a bit on the side with you and I've just been leading you on a bit". (Not true at all - I've never cheated on anybody and it was just coincidence that I hadn't told her - no ulterior motives or anything)

Is there anyway to do this or should I be resigned to one of the outcomes above - regardless of the fact that both of them are not accurate reflections of the situation?

How do you say, out of the blue to somebody "by the way.. just wanted to let you know that...." ? Help!

dr.bollocko

Look seriously, this is ridiculous enough. Its not a forums help you need mate. Its as simple as telling her the good news if she's a friend, showing up at a night out with the girlfriend. You dont even have to say anything, if you are that wussy, but basically you want to say "Oh, if it wasnt for me bird, I'd shag ya, but cos of her i cant. But I still think you're great." And I just dont see that as a valid thing to do. There is no telling her if you are actually happy being back with the ex, it would be shouted from the rooftops. But maybe you are just happier with the ex than when you were single? I dunno. OK Im sounding incredibly harsh here, but you know, people have actual problems.

ANXIOUS

when ever this happens when im out with out my gf i either say "oh i wish (insert gf's name) was here" or "ill be back in a minute just have to ring the gf)

Ruu_Old

Bring her out with you next time, I mean not to show her off (which is the way your other friend might see it) or something like "me and [insert name] are going to see a film, do you want to join us?" Be gentle whatever way you approach it.

petes

Just insert into the conversation as other people said, or a Ruu said ask her to join you and the missus for a drink.

Talliesin

Look, she's flirting with you but you aren't actually dating - she's a friend.

It's normal to tell friends a bit about what your lovelife situations is like. Just do that.

GAA widow

HowDoITellHer wrote:

Ok I'll keep this brief....

I split up with the gf of 7 years at Christmas - over an odd issue - but the main thing being it was not because we had fallen out of love.

People found out we had split up, including a girl I have great craic with and enjoy the company of. (I suppose its fair to say there has always been a healthy amount of flirting between us without anything ever happening or me even considering anything happening).

Anyway, following a long chat with the gf in late Jan. we decided to give it another bash. The only thing being that I see the other girl seldom enough so when I next saw her the joyful reunion was old news and I guess it never came up. I've only seen her 3 times since then - all on hectic nights on the town. It seems the topic hasn't come up since.

I was out with her last night and she was laying the flirting pretty outrageously. It was only then that I realised she obviously still thinks I'm single.

I need to let her know I'm not single anymore, and haven't been for a while but I can't think of a way to do it while avoiding any of the following unpleasant scenarios...

It comes across as an arrogant "hey, i know from last night that you want me - but I'm with <insert name here> again" (because I'm not that arrogant - plus I'm terrible at reading signs so she might not have been flirting at all)

She reads it as "hey, we've been back together since Jan but I didn't tell you because i still fancied my chances of a bit on the side with you and I've just been leading you on a bit". (Not true at all - I've never cheated on anybody and it was just coincidence that I hadn't told her - no ulterior motives or anything)

Is there anyway to do this or should I be resigned to one of the outcomes above - regardless of the fact that both of them are not accurate reflections of the situation?

How do you say, out of the blue to somebody "by the way.. just wanted to let you know that...." ? Help!

O.K., you split up with your gf of 7 years and are now back together.... i don't know you so i don't want to pass judgement but i find it interesting that your post is full of very positive comments about this other girl and you seem to be all worried about what she may or may not think of you when she finds out you're back with your gf (who you're not gushing about, it has to be said!)
If you couldn't give two hoots about this other girl why don't you bring along your gf on the next night out or just casually mention your girlfriend...virtually any sentence can start with "My girlfriend and I..."

Esel

Ruu wrote:

Bring her out with you next time, I mean not to show her off (which is the way your other friend might see it) or something like "me and [insert name] are going to see a film, do you want to join us?" Be gentle whatever way you approach it.

I don't think this is a good idea. Unless you ask your gf if she is up for a threesome first.

OP: Jebus, you got back with your gf in January - this is October! Do these two people not live in the same country? Have they no friends in common? Sound to me that you are a bit full of yourself tbh..

Black Swan

Invite your flirty friend for a double date. She brings a date, and you bring your g/f. Dinner and a movie?