bloody crush

LegacyUser

Hey,

Ok... so I have a bit of a situation on my hands here. There's this girl I've known since the start of secondary school (6 years) who I have a really massive crush on. Up until about a month and a half ago she was always talkin to me and was really enthusiastic about seein me, posting regularly on my bebo account, telling me how much she missed me over the summer and givin me a lot of attention, I was basically the only boy's bebo she was posting on. I didn't really understand it at first, I'd always liked her, I suppose I always had a small crush on her but It had never really got to the point where I urgently wanted to ask her out. I suppose I sorta took her for granted because I never really heard about her having boyfriends. In the 6 years she was always friendlier and more enthusiastic toward me than I was to her, not that I shunned her, but I wasn't really socially mature enough to properly return what my friends called 'cheesin' or flirting in polite english. Everyone in my class seemed to know that 'somethin' existed between us, and I always thought that some day there might be something more and that we'd make a go at it.

Anyway, about a month and a half ago everything seems to go downhill, for no reason whatsoever she seems to have totally lost interest in me, and this made me realise that I had a massive crush for her. I dunno what happened but during the summer my life went through a massive change when I decided to take up alcohol and started to drink around where she drinks. She seems to have completely changed around me, becoming more awkward. She runs around with a boy who for lack of a better word is a complete sleaze (He tried to kill himself with an overdose, goes with lots of women and treats lots of them like **** or so I hear). Anyway I know this guy, I even LIKE him well enough, he's not bad really, even though they seem to be just friends (He's goin with someone else, she's single as far as I know) it really irks me because I don't trust him around her at all as much as I may like him.

I've told a few of my close friends who have given me a bit of wise counsel. One of them, the cynic of the group could see a relationship between me and her happening, but not for a long time, they all don't like her hangin round with the 'sleaze', and my closest friend thinks I could definitely go with her because she was always 'cheesin' with me.

To be honest, I have no idea what to do. I added her to my msn to see if we could chat (not about the crush, just randomly) but so far she hasn't really said anything to me, it's been a few weeks, neither has she blocked me and the conversations I initiate with her (Not often as I don't want to seem too desperate) aren't bad at all, despite her seeming lack of interest. In school she still makes the occasional comment but not very often and always with an awkwardness she never had before. She just never seems to talk to me anymore and it's bringing me down because I really care for her an awful lot. I've asked one of my friends to find out why me and her have drifted apart and he says that he raised me in a topic one night with 'I wish we could see more of (me)' and she agreed and seemed sad... (we're in different classes now but still see each other often enough at lunchtimes but never talk!).

There's more, but I don't want to bore you, I've rambled on long enough. Any advice would be great, I don't know what to think at the moment, she is sending mixed signals, as far as I know she has never found out about my sudden overwhelming crush.

LegacyUser

So you got jealous when she started hanging around with this other bloke and it made you realize you liked her. Just tell her how you feel. Then you will know one way or the other if she is interested in you or not.

cournioni

Unreg has hit the nail on the head. Tell her how you feel. Never an easy thing to do by any means, but if you like her that much you should definately go for it. You have nothing to lose.

Black Swan

arrrgh wrote:

She just never seems to talk to me anymore and it's bringing me down because I really care for her an awful lot. I've asked one of my friends to find out why me and her have drifted apart and he says that he raised me in a topic one night with 'I wish we could see more of (me)' and she agreed and seemed sad... (we're in different classes now but still see each other often enough at lunchtimes but never talk!).

Ask her out on a date to something fun.

dr.bollocko

It sounds like she is still interested in rockstars and assholes. I would wait a few years as this girl is just looking to get damaged by some asshole, and it will probably take that before she starts going out with nice blokes rather than sleazy weirdos. Don't worry, deep breath and let out those teenage hormones, and just wait for college, where life is good and women aint nuts.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice guys. I've been considerin telling her sometime soon, next time I see her on a friday night maybe, but more than likely i'll just try and initate some sort of conversation with her and see where it goes. It's funny because the first time she met me out drinking she was all enthusiastic with a hyperactive stomach crunching hug, then the second and third times... just apathetic, going so far as to talk to my best friend instead of me while I was right beside him on the second night and asking him to come up to where she was sitting, I found it odd and depressing because they've hardly exchanged 4 words in 3 years and I know for a fact there is and was never anything between them. He had to actually mention me before I got some acknowledgement. Ah well, reading too much into it I suppose, and rambling on again!

Thanks for the advice anyway guys, I'll certainly consider it. I still have my contacts trying to find out why she lost interest, so I think I might just hang tight for the moment.

missmatty

Hang on a second, talk about dog in the manger here! It sounds like she really liked you and made a big effort for ages and when you (u said it urself) didn't do much about it, she gave up and went to hang out with someone else. And now all a sudden you're mad about her?
See a pattern emerging here?
You always want what you can't have, you took her attention for granted for ages and now you're moanin' about it? For god's sake grow a pair.

LegacyUser

Hi OP. i was in a similar situation. Every friday i used walk my dog and one friday this absolutely heavenly looking blond girl that is local to the area, lives not to far away as it happens passed me out in the car. The smile and look she gave me was unbelievable, a sort of obvious one.

I suppose i got the nervous feeling that you would get when you see a girl that makes your heart skip a beat. I thought nothing of it afterwards at first until it happened for months on end. Whenever i would pass her out she would give me a flitatious smile and look. On day i was biking to work and she was waiting outside a shop when she gave me a real friendly hi and smile.I was minding my own business but naturally i said hello back. Normally i would only pass this girl in her mums car apart from seeing her in the pub, etc.Now im not a bad looking lad but i suppose the unconfident side of me thought "No way this is happening to me!!". I made up my mind to try get to know her and ask her out. as she was a 17 yr old and i was 21 at the time naturally i was wary about the implications, etc. Anyway to my horror i discovered she started going out with a guy her own age at the same time. I was crushed! Although even after that the flirting continued once ot twice.


That was 2 year ago. Since then her and the fella are still an item (You wouldnt mind he's a pure showboater and chav who doesnt even work. ) and the attention has rapidly declined in the last year. She blanks me now as if i dont exist.

All im saying is that life is not like hollywood and dont set your expectations too high. If this woman doesnt think your worth perservering with then forget about her and move on. Find someone who appreciates you and who you can relax with and not someone who plays with your heart recklessley at her own convienience

Red Alert

I think this actually mightn't be as bad as you think, if my theory's right:

From my experience:
1. Guy meets girl
2. Guy is friends with girl
3. Crush/Spark develops, but beause of (2) it's not so simple.
4. Girl doesn't want to talk about issue, guy doesn't want to talk about it. Neither bring it up.
5. A 'barrier' develops between the two.