age when you realised?

LegacyUser

hey all, i suppose what i want to know is what age were any of ye when you 'realised' you were gay/ bi, im a 24 y/o 'straight' male, but i havnt had much experience with women, im very quiet, shy, and have been suffering from depression, i suppose all through my teens, but it was a lot worse from 4 years ago, till about a year ago, on anti-depressants now. i was 18 before i kissed a girl, (i only knew her for about an hour in total, she is the only girl ive ever went down on, and yeah, i really enjoyed it) ive only kissed one girl in the last three years.

got absolutly no experience with guys, and i dont feel i want to. but with all the depression, thoughts going through my head, id say i have 'finally' realised im gay about 50 times, and every time its like, 'right, thats it, i must be gay..'
there are some guys i find attractive, used to work with a few gay guys, one of my straight friends used to kinda flirt with one of them a bit, cos he thought the guy fancied him, i would have liked to be able to do the same, but i probably felt nervous, the whole fear of rejection thing, and theres been a couple of times ive been out, got drunk, and started kinda 'flirting' with a straight guy

but i like women, women are beautiful, i dont get turned on by naked guys when im looking up porn, womens bodies are just so much nicer, but i dont get turned off by the sight of a naked guy either, unless hes fat and hairy

im not too worried about it at the moment, i could easily go through the next few years without a girlfriend, meet a guy i like, and finally finally realise im gay, or realise im gay, and go years with neither boy- or girlfriend, whatever happens, happens.

but id still like to have a bit of fun with the ladies while im making up my mind

so, when did you realise you were gay

Stephanos

As has been said in here over and over again no one has the right to label you so you shouldn't feel the need to do it to yourself. You might be gay, you might be bi or you might just be plain old curious. Why don't you go and explore. If you do come to any conclusions then it might help you in dealing with your depression. Sounds like you are going through a hard time. Look after yourself.

I realised I was gay at around 13/14 but I always knew I was different. I used to prefer girls' company than playing soccer or whatever. I hated being gay up until I was in college. I can't say I now love it but for me it is no longer a problem.

The problem isn't that I am homosexual; it is that others are homophobic.

Oogleman

around 11 years old. first kiss at 13

pepper

i was 15 when i relaised i was bi- And i knew at once i didnt wonder "is this a phase" i knew right away!!

abetarrush

Is it ever actually a phase, or is that people tryna kid themselves?

We were talkin abt this at the end of 6th year, scientists tryin to find out if you're born gay, or ye change as ye grow

Rock Climber

For me I first realised when I was about 5.
I wasnt sure then obviously what I was realising but I knew that when I was play fighting with one of the lads in my class I was enjoying the physical contact.
When I was about 10 and older,I was getting woodies.
I had my first kiss at age 11.I knew what I wanted to do,he didn't but he didnt mind either

UU

Actually, I thought I was asexual for most of my adolescence as I didn't really experience any sexual attractions. Then at around 16/17, I found myself being quite attracted to other guys. So I really knew I was gay but looking back now at all years during my teenagehood, I suppose I was always a bit somewhat different. Well, when I turned 18, I came out and I had my first kiss with a guy a few months ago and I've kissed several other fellas since. I like fellas a lot. I like other guys bodies, touch, personality, nature, etc. I like girls as friends as I share a lot in common with them. Although, I'm not afraid to admit that I'm still a virgin at 19. There's plenty of time for that, you know . I like to get to know another guy first before intimacy.

OP, please don't put yourself down. Sexuality is certainly not black and white but rather a pallet of mixed up colours. I find it rather difficult to comprehend how some people know since they were kids that they were gay. Certainly, when I was a child stuff like that was irrelevent. Then again, different people develop at different stages. Just endeavour to experiment with different people as that's what life is for - experimentation!

Isobel

Hi straight-ish
I came out as TS when I was 4 so I can't really speak for anyone else but you say this:

straight-ish wrote:

got absolutly no experience with guys, and i dont feel i want to. but with all the depression, thoughts going through my head, id say i have 'finally' realised im gay about 50 times, and every time its like, 'right, thats it, i must be gay..'
there are some guys i find attractive, used to work with a few gay guys, one of my straight friends used to kinda flirt with one of them a bit, cos he thought the guy fancied him, i would have liked to be able to do the same, but i probably felt nervous, the whole fear of rejection thing, and theres been a couple of times ive been out, got drunk, and started kinda 'flirting' with a straight guy

When I was younger I remember sometimes I'd be attracted to a guy the same way because of their personality, there was a part of me I had to hide growing up so guys that were totally male I both envied and admired because they where so confident in themselves and I think I mistook that for attraction, now Im not saying your TS, gay, bi or straight (I don't know on that point to be honest, its up to you to find out yourself) but you say you are a shy person and the people you seem to be attracted to are confident people so do you think that it may just be that you'd like to be like them and you're mistaking admiration for attraction? it's not uncommon hon we all have someone we admire and we can all mistake that sometimes.

Just a thought and hope you find what you truely want

Izzy

Transcendant

I can't explain this situation and have never been able to understand others attitude. For me i always knew, I was always aware that i was homosexual, well before i had any contact with any homosexuals or the "culture". It was simply who i was and i never debated that or d.oubtred

CorsetRibbons

I was 11 when I had my first lesbian kiss. Of course I've been with men and women since but ultimately decided on women.

LegacyUser

me again, yeah, i think im definatly straight, tho i really dont know how to deal with girls. really i dont have a clue what to do, say, in a club, on the dancefloor, at a house party,,,

ah, well, lets get drunk, see what happens.

(actually, ive been getting drunk quite a bit lately, still havnt kissed a girl in a while) it only seems to happen when i pass the 'black-out point', ive posted in PI about this, just wondering if the gay/bi scene is any different, how do you overcome your shyness, say if your a guy, and theres a guy who obviously likes you on the dancefloor...

i dont know, im just wondering, the whole stress/mindset of a guy who hasnt kissed a girl in years compared to the mindset of your first gay kiss,
any tips apart from getting tanked up on vodka redbull??

Marksie

14-15 first with a crush on a teacher.
Mainly i have been with women though. I recognise the aspect in me that finds men atractive.
Am not one for being labelled so i am me and happy with it .

attention18

about 11 but didnt meet a guy till i was 16

limestrawberry

i was eleven when i realised i was gay,took another 3 years to come out for the first time and it's been a process since then but now im fully out and its great!

LegacyUser

'

straight-ish wrote:

me again,

ive been getting drunk quite a bit lately, still havnt kissed a girl in a while. it only seems to happen when i pass the 'black-out point',

so, over the christmas i was in a friends house, drinking since about 10, just the two of us. at around 9 in the morning he says 'so youre gay then', and i was like 'what??' and he told me that i had came out to him about half an hour before that, i cant remember a bit of it at-all.

all the important moments in my (sex)life seem to happen when i black out, maybe my brain just says 'youre not gonna want to remember this in the morning' and shuts down.

anyways, we had a chat, i told him i didnt have a clue what i was, but that i feel straight, so im back in the closet,,,,

this is so ****in weird, i feel straight, i want a girl, i really dont know why i might have said that'