Uncertainty

LegacyUser

Well I dunno where to start.. Ive been seeing a guy for the last 7 months and am madly in love, hes my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. However about two months after we started going out we were bickering alot and he said he wanted a break, I took it on the chin very calmly but I was destroyed because I thought he felt the same way about me as I did about him, he pursued me from the beginning and we have an astounding amount in common so understandably I thought we were secure.

He was goin away with work for a good few months and apparently that was his reason for the break,his head was torn up and he didnt know whether to continue the relationship or not.

In total we were broken up for about a week in which he came back to me apologising and saying he had time alone to think about what he wanted and had made a big mistake which was very unexpected as I hadnt contacted him and jus got on with my life. We met up and had a chat and ended up gettin back together and deciding to stay together whilst he is away.

Ever since we got back together hes like a changed man,more open,affectionate and would do anything for me. We have a terrific time when we are together and Im sure hes the one. He refers to our future together and tells me how much he loves me.

Hes gone away now and since hes gone I cant shake the doubts about myself that were instilled when he broke up with me. I know things are different now but it hurt so much and Im so afraid he'l do it again,especially since we're apart and dont have the rapport we usually do. I know I cant live my life with what ifs because thats just stupid and I'm a practical person but I feel so down..

What can I do to calm myself? I've spoken to him about it a few times and he tells me to forget it ever happened,he really regrets it and we're together now,to live for the present. But thats easy for him to say.. he wasnt hurt like I was and he knows I'd never hurt him. I feel so resentful!! What to do...

/paragraphs inserted for ease of reading - dudara

LegacyUser

Im sure you didnt realise this when posting, but please next time put a few paragraphs in.

My eyes are gone googley and nearly gave up reading.

You dont trust him is the bottom line. But it seems that you do want to trust him. What id say is take it easy. Dont stress yourself out so much thinking about these things. I would feel the same way too if it happened to me (it did).

Make a fresh start. Doesnt mean you have to trust him 100% immediately. Get to know him again etc.

Dan133269

you're probably letting your mind get ahead of you. If the two of you really are that close then you shouldn't let that little blip hamper your peace of mind. He made a mistake alright but the fact that only 1 week later he realizes it and the two of you get straight back together shows the strength of the relationship.

If that's the only problem you've ever had with your partner consider yourself very lucky as most relationships would probably come across much more.

If he didn't want to be with you, that break would have been the end of the relationship for good, my advice is to stop worrying and enjoy what you have

free2fly

Dan133269 wrote:

you're probably letting your mind get ahead of you. If the two of you really are that close then you shouldn't let that little blip hamper your peace of mind. He made a mistake alright but the fact that only 1 week later he realizes it and the two of you get straight back together shows the strength of the relationship.

If that's the only problem you've ever had with your partner consider yourself very lucky as most relationships would probably come across much more.

If he didn't want to be with you, that break would have been the end of the relationship for good, my advice is to stop worrying and enjoy what you have

I have to agree with that completely. If he realized his mistake in a week then you really have nothing to worry about. I know exactly how you are feeling. Someone that I loved very much did that to me after our being together for 5 years. I was devastated! We were apart for over a year. We did get back together and we were together for a very, very long time after that. But after just a week I think that you should try to get past it. As Dan said, if he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't have come back to you.

Black Swan

Unreg06 wrote:

Ever since we got back together hes like a changed man,more open,affectionate and would do anything for me. We have a terrific time when we are together and Im sure hes the one. He refers to our future together and tells me how much he loves me.

Well, maybe he took your relationship for granted (somewhat) until you were separated? Then, with the separation he realised what he was missing?

In any case, he is away for work? Take it easy. What's the rush? Stay in touch. Talk about it. Listen to each other. See what develops.