Friends are into different things now

Mrs_Doyle

I was gonna go unreg here, as it seems to be the 'thing to do' in PI, but I reckon some of you have probabaly experienced this too - so I have nowt to be ashamed of.

Basically, I have always liked shopping, getting glammed up, and hitting the pubs and clubs. (Typical girl stuff)

I have always been a 'social butterfly' (that's what my 3rd year teacher in school used to tell me :P), and to be honest, I haven't really changed at all.

My friends, however, well for various reasons, they have changed.

Some of them have children now, or are saving for/buying homes, or saving for weddings, some of them have already married - and the social scene doesn't appeal to them the way it used to.

Now this much, I understand, I know its common for people to outgrow the pub and club scene, so I don't resent them for it.

My problem is that I honestly do not have any pals who actually want to go out anymore, not unless it is someones birthday, etc.

Saturday night used to be party night, now everyone is doing their own thing, and pubs and clubs are a distant memory.

I have a BF too, and I am saving for an apartment at the moment, but I would still like to hit the town on a Saturday night.

I just seem to be alone in this.

I still have a lot of friends, for which I am greatful, I just kinda feel like I have been left behind, slightly.

I have considered maybe taking up a hobby of some sort, from which to meet new people who might share similar interests with me, but every time I think about it, I invision that episode of King of Queens, where they trawl the super market, sussing out all the couples, trying to find their 'new best friends'.

I don't necessarily want 'new best friends', I just wish I had a few girlie pals who love to boogie on a saturday night.

Have any of you been in a similar situation?
What do you suggest?

Collie D

Some people just simnply can't afford to that every weekend what with mortgages, upcoming weddings etc. Why not contact all your mates and say "Don't make any plans for X date, I've given you a couple of weeks notice, been a while since we all had a mad one" and then go out. Then try to make it a monthly thing or something

Chinafoot

I'd agree with CollieD. Try and get everyone together once a month or so and that way you won't feel quite so left behind.

You're right, people do outgrow the pub and club scene and people's lives move on and other things take priority over getting dolled up for a Saturday night on the town. Think how much money gets spent on a night out in town and then think how expensive weddings/houses/kids can be. I doubt any of us could afford to do it too often if we had those kind of responsibilities.

If you want some girly mates for nights out then I would suggest going for it and joining that class or taking up that hobby you've been considering. There's no shame in it and chances are you might find some like minded people who are in more of a position to go out on a regular basis than those with more committments in their lives.

LegacyUser

Would you not go out on Saturday night with your boyfriend?

Dragan

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

Have any of you been in a similar situation?
What do you suggest?

Hey Mrs D!!!

As i think the others said, try and organise something well in advance. I find that when i normally drop a suprise Saturday night on someone they can't make it, but give them some warning and they will be there with dancing shoes on!!!

But yeah, it might be worth a while joining a club of some kind as well, just to get out there a bit more.

King of Kings

I agree with dragan
I hate it when my mates ring me and say "Fancy a few pints tonight" I want (demand) notice.

Try to organise in advance it makes people look forward to it and lbe less likely to bale on you

Why not throw house parties with your friends they're a lot cheaper and sometimes a lot more fun

Chucky the tree

Whats the girl supposed to do on the other 3 saturdays of the month though?

It seems she wants to go every saturday, and not just the odd one.

sonic juice

House parties are always great fun!

kowloon

House parties arent much fun when someone spills their guts all over the new sofa on the new carpet in the new house you cant afford.:(

Pick up a new hobby like Scientology

Black Swan

sonic juice wrote:

House parties are always great fun!

Sounds like a solution! Party!

Nevyn

unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

turbot

My suggestion is to make friends with loads of foreign people, and make friends with more people.

In my experience they party more into their late twenties and mid thirties.

Dustaz

Chucky the tree wrote:

Whats the girl supposed to do on the other 3 saturdays of the month though?

It seems she wants to go every saturday, and not just the odd one.

Bingo.

I sympathise with the OP because thats exactly where I'm at at the moment. A lot of my friends are married with kids and mortgages etc and just dont go out that much anymore. Its a real pain in the arse not to be able to just turn up in the pub without notice and know a lot of people there, but thats just the way it goes.

Im lucky in that i still have a few friends who are in the same situation, Maybe the OP could track down friends she might have fallen out of contact with? They might be in the same situation.

blackeyes

Hey Mrs D,
Your situation sounds very familiar. I've returned from travelling in Febraury and since then its been impossible to get any friends out without 5 weeks notice. All have married, had kids and of course all moved out of dublin to try and afford to buy houses. My social life had gone down the swanny and so about a month ago I decided to join a social club (networkclub.ie if you are in dublin). It was a bit daunting showing up on one of their visitor nights but it wasn't long before I knew most of the crew and now at least once or twice a month I look forward to gettting to know new club members and do a few activities. Been out clubbing with a few of the members as well on weekends so it really has been a success.

BE.

Mrs_Doyle

Well, yesterday I pulled out of a lil trip to Mama Mia.
One of the girls was organising it, and although I like that kinda thing, I don't love it, I was only going for the sake of the night out - and that's kinda sad.

Think I may start getting in touch with some old pals, and I wont rule out making some new ones either.

Some good advice in this thread.

Thanks guys!