SPACE = Dumped?

LegacyUser

hi all.

GF 5+ years.

We live together weekends only due to shift work (min 3 day weekends btw)

Usually get on brilliant, rarely row and when we do it's cos of something dumb I did :-)

A week ago she said she wanted some 'SPACE'. We exchanged a couple of emails since, her first reply was very nice, just that she had a lot of things going on (night school exams, work related projects) and that she would call me when she got her head sorted, the second not so nice that I pissed her off with something I did earlier in the week, which she didn't mention at the time. Nothing since. This is some kind of record for lack of comms, we're usually on the phone or texting each other several times a day.

I don't know what's going on. I'm afraid to phone in case she doesn't know either and by calling her and forcing the issue I could end up losing her.

Anyone else had similar experiences that turned out OK in the end?

Or should I prepare myself for the worst?

Ruu_Old

Give her a few more days, it is not unreasonable to know where you stand after that. Sometimes it means the worst but seeing as she has alot on her plate I would give her more time.

OrangeOranges

If she wants space then give it to her,
Go completely radio silent on her for at least a week.
Only reply to her contacts and keep u replys short n sweet. Ideally no contact for at least a month.

Its tough but at least ye both will really know what being without each other is.

Plus its a more likely way for her to respect and want you. At the moment she's getting the best of both worlds. ie the friendship part of the relationship with the "space" to experiment and see what shes missing

mountainyman

Barely contact her. Don't initiate contact. Give her what she wants. If you don't give her space you will be dumped, be strong women dig that and don't be clingy they hate that. Don't meet her for ages. But you can be nice as pie when you do meet up.

Yes I have had a veryy similar experience that turned out fine in the end. Women are often pretty honest baut their emotions and they know more than men what they want.

And don't sleep with anyone else.

MM

LegacyUser

Definitely give her space like the above have mentioned. Let her initiate contact and always be very nice and supportive when she does make contact. After that its just wait and see - its your best bet to keep her.

Chinafoot

OrangeOranges wrote:

Plus its a more likely way for her to respect and want you. At the moment she's getting the best of both worlds. ie the friendship part of the relationship with the "space" to experiment and see what shes missing

rofl! Where on earth was there any mention of the woman wanting space to experiment and see what she's missing?! Assumptions like that don't do anybody any favours. It is possible that this girl was being honest with him and is just completely stressed out with so much going on in her life and just needs a bit of time to sort it out.

OP: You have both been together a long time and you know her better than anyone else here does. Give her the space she has asked for and let her sort herself out. Be supportive without putting too much pressure on her. Asking for space doesn't have tomean the end of the relationship. Had she asked for a break, well then my advice would be different...

Marksie

I agree with peachy pants on the above statement. From the OP b post there is absolutely no reason to assume an ulterior motive.

Five years is a long time to be together so really the only option is to give her the space she needs.

I dont agree with the break all contact, an occasional message is fine, but do keep it relatively neutral.
When she wants to talk with you, she will, its no good trying to force the issue.

But for yourself.. keep yurself busy and active. It IS going to be hard, but try not to dwell overmuch on the situation. You wiol only tie yourself into knots

Trinity

Oh it is hard when someone else decides they want space and we have to put our lives, our feelings and our futures on hold while they decide what they want to do.

Was this just out of the blue or did you see it coming?

In some sense i find it unfair, in another i understand, but if thats what the girl wants then give it to her. I personally would have asked space for what? To decide if you want to be with me? And for how long?

Give her time to miss you. Just get on with things and if you cannot do the no contact well then keep it to a bare minimum.

Lust4Life

Eek! I think everyone else here is being a bit optimistic.
I know every time I've ever used that "Gimme Space" phrase it meant I've met someone new who stirs my interest more.

And if that is the case, she is searching for legitimate reasons to blame you and break it off.

You can't win, Love!

Best advice I can give is to keep her thinking about warm fuzzy moments with you. Maybe she'll change her mind.

Go rent the movie High Fidelity. It has a happy ending. It may be helpful.

Sorry to be so honest. It is just my opinion, though. But you asked for opinions.

Hugs,

L

Black Swan

Space can mean a lot of things. To get sorted. To get a breather. To eventually break up. Let her have it and wait for her to contact you.

King of Kings

the king doesn't believe in space.

if you want a break from a person that person isn't for you.
we all need time to ourselves but any long term space issue means the relationship isn't working.

I'd go further and say that it's a tad disrespectful to say "Hang on there while i sort out my ****" - you are either in a relationship or not

cut your losses mate.