Mental illness experiences...

WunderFull

The Mental Health quiz above brought up the issue of mental illness for me.

I spent three months in a psychiatric hospital last year due to stress. I was in Dublin but come from far away from Dublin. My parents did not want anyone to know but told people themselves without asking me. Due to this, I spent ten weeks there without contact with my friends (bar a few phone calls; I was advised to say little). I wasn't allowed to tell relatives and when I did tell some my mother scolded me.

Before I went to hospital, I was on my own in Dublin. I had been worsening over time and my family didn't care; putting more and more pressure on me and verbally abusing me for mistakes like overspending. I was so bad, I couldn't stand up for myslef and they took advantage of it. They said I was only acting until I went on medication. They wouldn't visit even when I coudl barely get up. When I went to hospital, they said I wasn't as bad as I looked. When I was in for over twice the predicted time, they still didn't believe. After family therapy, my mother wouldn't speak to me. She and my sister ignored me when I went home for weekends.

During my time in hospital, they went on a three-week holiday. They had promised to call my cousin so I'd have a visitor but never did. After, they didn't visit me and I had to travel home myslef.

After hospital, my mother does not speak to me, my sister accuses me of splitting the family and calls me hurtful names, and my father gave me nothing but pressure and does not care about my feelings. I'd been promised a holiday after hospital but then it was never mentioned though my brother went. I was not even allowed to Galway to see a friend's art exhibition.
No-one spends time with me. My parents will not give me my sister's number (I lost it) to contact her; she is in now in Dublin. They rarely phone, my father will not help me financially in college and this is all very hard as I have to deal with their bad attitudes and my own problems while it is hard to even keep going myself.

How do other people feel about mental illness?

Victor

That sounds overly harsh of them, is there a background to this sort of thing?

Collie D

That's very harsh. There is a stigma attached to mental illness but I think people are more understaning of it than you think, absolutley nothing to be ashamed of and definitely no reason to be ostracised over it.

sunnyjim

Ah wunderfull, I feel sorry for ya here now.

Wanna go into detail about what kicked this all off?

The_Conductor

Yes, there is a stigma attached to mental illnesses, much indeed as there is physical conditions- only worse because a lot of people steadfastly refuse to acknowledge that there is anything whatsoever wrong with you. Sorry to hear that things have been so hard for you.

galactus

My heart goes out to you. I've tears in my eyes reading this. I've been in a similar situation but thank God I did get the support I needed. I hope you can seek out someone to help you through this but stay strong. I don't know much about your situation but I know mental illness is an illness like any other and can be treated. Go to your GP on a regular basis (every few weeks) and ask what services are available locally.

Its hard to deal with for others as well of course. There is a lot of stigma attached to mental illness but WHY? If you were in a car crash people would no doubt be all over you. What's the difference? We all have life experiences that we don't choose to have.

There was a recent report by the Health Research Board stating that Families don't get the support they need.

This report is a positive step -we're still in the dark ages in Ireland as regard mental wellbeing but help is there. Stay positive.

Black Swan

I'm not qualified to advise you, but I can make an observation which may be useful. Do you have an artistic talent? Do you draw, paint, sculpture, photograph, act, creatively write, or something that is artistic? The reason why I mention this, is that I am into creative writing, and most of us who are serious about this art admit that the best writers are those who are very different from the average citizen. Many of us laugh about the fact that we are not normal, and the things that trouble us often drive us to creatively write. And the artistic community seems to be very accepting of someone who is different from the average citizen but shows talent. Just a thought.

hupyago

Id just like to contribute what I reckon can help I've had similar expieriences what I found help me get my life in order is books simply .the self help spiritual section in the bookshop can help out I'd recommend james redfields books specifically I' ve been reading the tenth insight an expieriential guide I got in the local charity shop

py2006

Forgive me ignorance! When people refer to mental illness are they taking about depression or something far more serious than that?

suga

Ah wunderful, this is terrible. I know that we don't have to full story but this is how you feel and I can't help but think you are heading back to the dark place you were in. I'm not in any position to preach but you really need some support here. Even though you are out of hospital, now is when you need extra support to rebuild your life. So I agree with a previous post that you should enquire about your local resources available from your GP, or your psychiatrist. There are also many voluntary agencies around such as AWARE and GROW. Either way, my point is, please get some help, unfortunately this may mean cutting ties from your family altogether as they seem to be hindering your coping, or your quality of life is going to continue to suffer.

I have been through a similiar thing myself in my personal life and you can and will get through this, once you get the support you need. And remember...after every storm comes a greater sense of joy.:)

suga

py2006 wrote:

Forgive me ignorance! When people refer to mental illness are they taking about depression or something far more serious than that?

Only me again, but mental illness means any disorder of the mind. It in turn can effect your daily funtioning, like how/if you socialise, or your relationships, your self-esteem and confidence, your personal hygiene, your work and motivation...basically all aspects of your life. People have different explanations for it though based on their own experiences, but each are as serious as another as they all can be extremely debilitating and destroy lives just as a chronic physical illness can. People need to stop feeling ashamed to seek help, I mean if you had an infection you'd go the doctor right?! Cheers for asking the question py2006 as I'm sure you only said what others were afraid to ask. Well done mossy!!

Volvoboy

Bringing up alot of old memories reading this, i too went for a stay in a psychatric facilty, for around 2-3 months, you've nothing to be ashamed about, just know that everybody needs a bit of care now and then, just know that your family does love and still care for you they just have a diffrent way of showing it, yes there is a stigma around the whole issue, but making it into an issue is not a good idea, instead of your friends and extedned isolating you, having know what you went through they would support you in the good times and bad, just remeber tomorrow is another day chin up buddy.



-VB-

Filan

Personally think the term mental illness is greatly over used....usually it's simply an enormous build up of legitimate stress which has not been aired. Your family obviously are uniformed...and people are afraid of what they don't know..well a lot of people are. I attended Grow where one can gain support from other members...share experiences and maybe develope friendships...it isn't for everyone...but might help you...worth a try at least. For the record I suffered from panic attacks and while many would view that as a mental illness , I don't...an imbalance...but was I mentally ill? Not in my view....a hugely overused terms...as are antidepressants overprescribed. Never was there a night tht wasn't followed by day...never a winter that wasn't followed by a spring...never bad weather that didn't pass...The bad weather of life never lasts either.

Froot

I can sympathise regards feeling the pressure of it.

Your family reacted the way they wanted to react and being honest they reacted badly. If they are having a negative effect on you then you need to talk to them or forget about them. Life is hard enough without having to deal with external issues as well as your own.

ChRoMe

I've also been a in patient in a pysiactric hospital I was being treated for drug addiction. Its not a fun place to be but I was lucky enough to take something positive from it. Anyway enough about me

Your family have reacted this way becuase they are more concerned with how they are viewed by other people than your health.

Its not nice and it sure as hell isint going to aid your recovery. Its far easier said then done but you need to try and disregard the importance they seem to put on projecting the perfect family image.

If you want to tell your mates, family members whatever thats your choice not theirs. The issue is yours and it should be you that has the final say on how its treated.

I'd be interested to know if your over 18?

Filan

Think a lot of Irish people are overly concerned about what other people think....your parents appear weak...

hupyago

heres a link might serve ya <Snip> under directory theres a list of places etc where you can get help particulary under holistic health and spirituality

Doghouse

Sorry to hear what you went through Wunderfull. I'd a pretty similar experience. I was hospitalised a few times for bipolar disorder and the first time my parents reacted very similarly to yours. They acted as if I was 'putting it on' and didn't want to tell anyone. Gradually over the years they copped on and have become more supportive. I agree with the others who said that they're thinking more about other people's opinions than your welfare and also maybe they feel that it's some reflection on them and their parenting skills (or lack thereof). For the moment you're probably better to concentrate on friends than family. You don't need people around you who are only making you feel worse. I found that my friends tended to be much more understanding and helpful than my parents. Also support groups like those run by Aware can be good places for meeting up with others who'll understand what you're going through.

Twinkle-star15

py2006- Depression can be very serious. It's just people also use to say they're upset or sad, so it makes it seem like an over-reaction to call it an 'illness'.

Sorry if I took what you said the wrong way.

Esel

This is an old thread tbh. The OP's last login was on 14-11-2006.