Violated by Underworld: Evolution

Lurk

I've just wasted two hours that could have been better spent watching someone watching paint dry. Unfortunately I was too tired to get off the couch and switch off Underworld: Evolution, so it's my own fault.
As far as I can remember, the first Underworld was okay, so thought this might be worth a look (I like the odd bit o' pap).

Damn, was I wrong from the start...this was the emperor of papland. Fuzzy CGI, physically unattractive lead actors, overly dramatic music from beginning to end (that gets very annoying), horrendously plastic rent-a-sets, and a plot that tried to be complicated but ended up being simply confusing. Kate Beckinsale's performance was so posturing that I was just hoping for her to be savagely, brutally, viciously mauled by a werewolf (or anything else); the werewolves themselves were so tacky and fluffy-dog-like that they couldn't frighten a pea; the vampires spent the entire film inexplicably sucking each other off (through veins, that is) ................uuuuugh I feel exhausted in the brain.

I'm thinking of renting Aeon Bloody Flux now just to get the taste of Underworld out of my mouth. Anyone else seen it and actually liked it? My God! How did the producers give the go-ahead for this one?? -86/10

Spider_Baby!

I love it Tbh, i love those crap horroraction type movies, so....and i think kate beckinsale is physically VERY attractive!

Karl Hungus

Odd, when I watched it I was quite pleasantly suprised. It was a pure bit of horror themed action fluff, mind you, but I thought it was quite enjoyable for what it was.

Gizzard

I quite liked it, mucho better then Matrix 3 for an example, also if you only mildly liked the first what did you expect

Sean7

I agree with the OP, I was disappointed. I gave my rant in an earlier thread on the movie and I don't want depress myself by doing it again.

TerrorFirmer

I thought it was an alright film. Certainly not an oscar winner but it was, at least, much better then the first film and certainly alot bloodier, always a good thing in this sort of genre.

azezil

heh, I enjoyed it... one of those movies you can just turn on and veg, good times ^_^

Lurk

Huh? What's the world coming to? I'm all for "crap horroaction" larks...got a nifty collection of 'em too, but this 'film' was just insulting. Beckinsale is a cute little munchkin thingey, but the face on her throughout this! I'm going to chew my arm off....

NeiloMac

I agree, someday ill want two hours when im on my death bed, but no i spent them watching underwold,

Terrible story, think they sould have left it at the first one,

Miguel_Sanchez

Lurk wrote:

As far as I can remember, the first Underworld was okay, so thought this might be worth a look (I like the odd bit o' pap).

That's your problem right there buddy. Bad memory.

Necronomicon

I thought it was good enough, quite enjoyable. I preferred the first though, a little less action and a little more substance.

Kintarō Hattori

Agreed that the first one was better, but this wasn't too bad. I knew waht to expect. And c'mon Kate Beckinsale running around in pvc for two hours, I can't complain.

Lurk

Jeff_Lebowski wrote:

That's your problem right there buddy. Bad memory.

Damn x2...now I have to go and watch the first one again to see whether that was bad or not. And if it was, I'll chew my other arm off and you'll never hear from me again. Unless I use a fork attached to my forehead to type.

sprinkles

preferred the 1st but omg did you not see the sex scene with the godess that is kate..... *drools*

Nevyn

Body double tbh.

sprinkles

still all good

How awkward must it have been for her husband directing that kind of scene (she must have been in it for a while at least)....

Lurk

I'd say it was hard for him alright

kaimera

@ the OP;

go watch Aeon Flux if prefer the taste of pure tripe in your mouth

azezil

heh I enjoyed Aeon Flux as well... ;P

Pigman II

Generally with a colon you get poop.

madrab

i enjoyed it, anything with vampires fighting warewolves is good in my opinion

+sex scene ftw!

Karl Hungus

madrab wrote:

i enjoyed it, anything with vampires fighting warewolves is good in my opinion

Are you entirely sure about that? Don't want to retract that statement? Because this would suggest otherwise.

bizmark

I liked it quite a lot even bought the 2 films on dvd

kaimera

azezil wrote:

heh I enjoyed Aeon Flux as well... ;P

Heh..wait...is that inuendo in your post?

Lurk

According to the ancients, Aeon Flux is the worst film ever made. But I haven't seen it....too afraid I'd be traumatised.
Van Helsing is Citizen Kane compared to Underworld Evolution (or so a TV reviewer recently said when comparing The Devil Wears Prada to some other movie; can't remember which, my head is all fuzzy talking about bag-of-piss films)

LostinBlanch

Ah Lurk get over yourself for Gods sake. You saw a film you didn't like, so get over it. and leave Kate Beckinsale alone

If you want to watch a truly scary film go watch Pride And Prejudice or something of that ilk.

Now this paint you said you were going to watch someone watching dry - was it matt or gloss?

Lurk

LiB...you know, you're quite right. I now think that Underworld Evolution is perhaps the finest film ever made, and when I die and go to hell and Lucifer asks me what film I want to watch every hour of every day for the rest of eternity, I should be bitterly disappointed if Underworld Evolution isn't in his dvd collection.
The paint is a new-fandangled mixture of gloss and matt, known as "Look at this...it's a slap with your name on it."

madrab

Karl Hungus wrote:

Are you entirely sure about that? Don't want to retract that statement? Because this would suggest otherwise.

i enjoyed that too & i would rather watch it 20 times back to back then watch some pretentious drivel like brick or anything by david lynch

TerrorFirmer

I too thought Van Helsing was an entertaining yarn.

Necronomicon

I felt like poking my eyes out after seeing Van Helsing to make sure I never endured a cinema experience like it again.

Karl Hungus

I thought Underworld: Evolution was a far superior (I use the term relatively) to Van Helsing.

LostinBlanch

Ah Lurk

sarcasm, is that what you're reduced to? Honestly. Stop complaining about films and say something postive about them.

As for the paint I think the term you're looking for is mid sheen. Probably Charlies older brother :rolleyes: So what colour was it then? Black & Blue perchance?

Anyway, you'd probably even give out about this film. Of course what that says about your state of mind (or taste in films) is a different matter!

TerrorFirmer

While we're on the subject and dragging other movies into it, what did everyone think of Night Watch? I thought it was dire....

madrab

LostinBlanch wrote:

Ah Lurk

sarcasm, is that what you're reduced to? Honestly. Stop complaining about films and say something postive about them.

As for the paint I think the term you're looking for is mid sheen. Probably Charlies older brother :rolleyes: So what colour was it then? Black & Blue perchance?

Anyway, you'd probably even give out about this film. Of course what that says about your state of mind (or taste in films) is a different matter!

who are you talking to?


yeah nightwatch had good ideas but wasnt executed very well

LostinBlanch

Madrab,

was replying to a previous post from Lurk. Just some harmless banter.

Hairyass

eo980 wrote:

Agreed that the first one was better, but this wasn't too bad. I knew waht to expect. And c'mon Kate Beckinsale running around in pvc for two hours, I can't complain.

Agreed

Hairyass

I think there is a niche for these movies. I happen to like them, just switch of the brain, sit down with beer and enjoy it for what it is, mindless fun.
Movies based on Jane Austen books, those I couldnt watch

Lurk

LostinBlanch wrote:

Just some harmless banter.

Boo hoo LiB...you made me cry

Hairyass wrote:

I think there is a niche for these movies. I happen to like them, just switch of the brain, sit down with beer and enjoy it for what it is, mindless fun.

I'm all for mindless fun - have watched the Chronicles of Riddick more than...god...20 times perhaps, but a bad film is just a baaaad film.