Boyf insisting on using condoms

LegacyUser

Myself and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and at the start used condoms but then as time went on and he knew I am on the pill we stopped using them as he said they ruin the moment and it feels better without. For months we haven't used condoms and the whole time I would say that we need to but in the heat of the moment I let him off without using them. Now, all of a sudden he wont' have sex without using a condom. This has aroused my suspicions and I've asked him about it. He said 'isn't that what you want?' and my question to him is 'why now?' He answers 'why not now?'. The thing is, and this is key to the whole thing.. he has just come back from 2weeks in Thailand with the lads!! Am i stupid? Am I in denial? He has probably cheated on me the more I think about it but maybe I'm just not facing the facts to save myself from pain. Then again, this is going to eat away at me and it has got to have an impact on our relationship. I need impartial advice and opinions please.

Shenanigans

Hiya...

I know you prob don't want to hear this but I think your suspicions (and your heart) are right.... The fact that we wants to use condoms now is beyond suspect.. I don't know what advice to give but face it head on now or it will forever eat away at you... Best of luck

spinandscribble

this is just a troll in response to the other thread

LegacyUser

I've read the other thread, it's just a coincidence that both have been posted on the same day...

the_syco

Would you prefer he didn't use condoms, and gave you god-knows-what disease?

joebhoy1916

UnregGirl wrote:

Myself and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and at the start used condoms but then as time went on and he knew I am on the pill we stopped using them as he said they ruin the moment and it feels better without. For months we haven't used condoms and the whole time I would say that we need to but in the heat of the moment I let him off without using them. Now, all of a sudden he wont' have sex without using a condom. This has aroused my suspicions and I've asked him about it. He said 'isn't that what you want?' and my question to him is 'why now?' He answers 'why not now?'. The thing is, and this is key to the whole thing.. he has just come back from 2weeks in Thailand with the lads!! Am i stupid? Am I in denial? He has probably cheated on me the more I think about it but maybe I'm just not facing the facts to save myself from pain. Then again, this is going to eat away at me and it has got to have an impact on our relationship. I need impartial advice and opinions please.

What do you think he was doing in Thailand of course he humping some Thai beauty every girl over there is nearly a prostitute.

Maybe he is afraid you will get pregnant and doesnt want a child I know loads of girls that caught guys like that dont say ye dont do it ladies ye do.

To be honest I wouldnt even sleep with him after coming back from Thailand

€10 extra you dont wear condon.

I know all guys say it is stupid to not use condom and have never done it but you wouldn't believe how many guys dont use condom's.

Me personnally I dont like the smell of burning rubber

Now I have a daughter

theTinker

I obviously cant tell you if he cheated or not but i think you are right to be suspicous. Everyone hears about stories from thailand prostitues having diseases. After coming back from there and only then insisting on using condoms when he has protested against it is suspicous behaviour. Regardless of his cheating status, i would tell him to get a std test if you plan on having sex anymore(condom or not).

Wishfulthink

joebhoy1916 wrote:

What do you think he was doing in Thailand of course he humping some Thai beauty every girl over there is nearly a prostitute.

Maybe he is afraid you will get pregnant and doesnt want a child I know loads of girls that caught guys like that dont say ye dont do it ladies ye do.

To be honest I wouldnt even sleep with him after coming back from Thailand

€10 extra you dont wear condon.

I know all guys say it is stupid to not use condom and have never done it but you wouldn't believe how many guys dont use condom's.

Me personnally I dont like the smell of burning rubber

Now I have a daughter

My god what an ignorant stereotypical racist attitude to have.

Hmmm let me guess you heard this from the lads or you were in Thailand for a month stayed in the same areas in bkk maybe went to pattaya, phuket, samoui hung around those type of bars and now say every girl in Thailand in a prostitute.

Yes there are lots of prostitutes in certain tourist areas of Thailand but then again Thailand does have a population of 65 million and less than 1% are prostitutes. Yes there are lots of prostitutes in certain areas of Holland Germany Hungary etc Brazil is now the number one destination for sex tourists. I guess all Brazilian girls are now prostitutes. The fact is there are many prostitutes in Thailand to service people like us because they are dirt poor don’t blame them blame us.

I do agree Thailand does have some of the most kind and beautiful girls in the world (Sorry Irish girls but you cant compete in my mind – different strokes for different folks I guess)

Hmm I wonder if we will be able to stop having such a self importance of ourselves and stop looking down our noses at thai girls and thai culture.

Sorry for the spelling

yellowellie

I think you're right to be suspicious. Either it's a huge coincidence in terms of timing or he has been up to something. The only way you will know is to ask him directly. Then you will have to decide if you believe his response or not (he will inevitably say he did nothing).

LegacyUser

I don't know what to think.. It's heart and head in battle here..

LegacyUser

condoms only reduce the risk of STD's, they don't eliminate them.
Genital herpes is still a risk using condoms, and quite common... among many more STD's...
Alot of them that can affect your future fertility.

If it were me and I had such strong suspicions I would confront him and tell him the above.
He probably isn't aware of it and thinks like most people that condoms are the barrier of the gods, (which they are not by any means).
If he has slept with someone else while away, unprotected, there is a possibility he suspects something is up with himself.

Most of all, if it were me, I wouldn't sleep with him.
Perhaps an option would be for you both to get STD tests done.
You first for definite, and then encourage him.

Worry about the trust issues and infidelity later.
Your priority is yourself and no one has the right to put you at risk.

The again he probably just had such a fabulous time in Thailand the idea of being tied down to a child frightened the life out of him.

Only you can tell whether his actions are true or not.

secret_squirrel

If you really dont trust him - get him to get a STD test - its that simple.

Good luck on persuading him though...

joebhoy1916

Wishfulthink wrote:

My god what an ignorant stereotypical racist attitude to have.

Hmmm let me guess you heard this from the lads or you were in Thailand for a month stayed in the same areas in bkk maybe went to pattaya, phuket, samoui hung around those type of bars and now say every girl in Thailand in a prostitute.

Yes there are lots of prostitutes in certain tourist areas of Thailand but then again Thailand does have a population of 65 million and less than 1% are prostitutes.

Emm no I was there.

I would say alot more than 1% are, come on what do you think he went for with all the lads for jesus womem come on. What is it ye go away for?

Let me guess a tan :rolleyes:

oulu

I would say he used condoms over there for full sex but for a BJ he must have had no cover, I think it is quite normal for a gang of lads to have some fun while away together. Dont be naive it goes on all the time, tell him to go have a test to make sure all is well before he mounts you again.

Wishfulthink

joebhoy1916 wrote:

Emm no I was there.

I would say alot more than 1% are, come on what do you think he went for with all the lads for jesus womem come on. What is it ye go away for?

Let me guess a tan :rolleyes:

Well you would be wrong i havent got a link to hand to prove it but i defo read it in a paper somewhere. If i remember correctly its in the region of about 200,000 which is about 0.3% of the population.

the fact of the matter is the vast majority of thai girls are far far more conservative than irish girls in dress and sexual lifestyle.

but to the bad news for the op is the vast majority of these prostitutes are in tourist areas, it is very tempting and yes lads with girlfriends go off with them all the time. Depends on what type of bf you have i suppose.

kittenkiller

OP I'd definately be suspicious.
Either ask him straight out or start complaining of a strange itch 'down there' and see what he does.

I wouldn't trust him from what you've posted about the situation.
Is he that important to you?
What's left if there's no trust or fidelity?

Beruthiel

spinandscribble wrote:

this is just a troll in response to the other thread

spin
Please leave the moderating to the moderators.
B

dr.bollocko

Yeah **** that guy.
If he's supposed to be going out with you, he shouldn't be hopping from hoe to hoe on his merry way to BANGCOCK.
Now he wants to use condoms after being in THIGHLAND (Most infamous sex tourist area of recent times).
You could ask him. "Why did you go on a holiday to a famous sex tourist destination, and then come back demanding that we use condoms when we never have before, you lousy, cheating ****?"

Then slap him, then leave.
Or, you know, pretend like its a coincidence.
Still though, would it not be a lot worse if he said nothing, and actually infected you?

drunkenfool

just to let you know, the world health organisation claims that in certain areas of Thailand up to 80% of the working girls are HIV positive. It claims that its in the middle of an epidemic saying that it could get worse then Africa at the moment!

I just got back from Thailand, the group of lads that i went over with didnt touch any prostitiutes. But to be honest you dont really need prostitutes in Thailand, most Thai girls are very easy.

Think about that 80%!!!!!!!!!!

Motley Crue

UnregGirl wrote:

Myself and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and at the start used condoms but then as time went on and he knew I am on the pill we stopped using them as he said they ruin the moment and it feels better without. For months we haven't used condoms and the whole time I would say that we need to but in the heat of the moment I let him off without using them. Now, all of a sudden he wont' have sex without using a condom. This has aroused my suspicions and I've asked him about it. He said 'isn't that what you want?' and my question to him is 'why now?' He answers 'why not now?'. The thing is, and this is key to the whole thing.. he has just come back from 2weeks in Thailand with the lads!! Am i stupid? Am I in denial? He has probably cheated on me the more I think about it but maybe I'm just not facing the facts to save myself from pain. Then again, this is going to eat away at me and it has got to have an impact on our relationship. I need impartial advice and opinions please.

if it wasnt for the fact u mentioned he was going to thiland recently i taught this was my girlfriend writing this lol. but she doesnt really have a prob with it, that is, she hasnt mentioned it to me. i cant cum unless i forgo a condom, and she took the pill to regularize her period, so it worked out ok for us. i would however, in ur situation, be supicious but also ask if maybe he has become so used to 'going live' he feels he cant relax with latex around his mister. believe me, featherlite or not, u can feel it and it does make a mental impact that its there.

MrJoeSoap

joebhoy1916 wrote:

What do you think he was doing in Thailand of course he humping some Thai beauty every girl over there is nearly a prostitute.

What a stupid response. You don't know this person from Adam, and that is such an ignorant attitude about Thailand.

As for the OP, just confront your BF about this, there could quite easily be a logical explanation for it.

LegacyUser

The thing is he DOES want to use condoms now, despite previous protests!

Nevyn

It could be that maybe the bf thinks the gf was unfaithful while he was away with the lads and the lads wond him up about it or about his relationship with his gf and to becareful that she does not trap him with an unexpected pregancy.

Seriously if you want to know what is going on ask him.

sweet-rasmus

talk to him. he didnt change his mind for no reson, but you don't know for sure what that reason is yet.

joebhoy1916

MrJoeSoap wrote:

What a stupid response. You don't know this person from Adam, and that is such an ignorant attitude about Thailand.

Oh really.

He's back from Thialand used condom's before that now wont why do you think that is?

The whores there aint like Amsterdam where you just head and no kissing Thailand different they just come over grab ya and start kissing ya. Even if he wore a rubber he still could have caught something but im sure if one came over he would have the will power to say no even after 15 pints

secret_squirrel

Attention all muppets who couldnt be bothered to read the thread properly

He now wants to use Condom's where he didnt before.

Get with the program ffs!

LegacyUser

Thanks secret_squirrel! LOL! I needed that laugh!

I have asked him why he wants to use them now and not before but I haven't directly asked him 'Did you sleep with somebody else?'.

I will just have to bite the bullet and ask him tomorrow.. Will keep ye posted..

OP

MrJoeSoap

joebhoy1916 wrote:

He's back from Thialand used condom's before that now wont why do you think that is?

secret_squirrel wrote:

He now wants to use Condom's where he didnt before.

.

Maybe he realised the risk of infection? Maybe a mate had an experience. Unless you know the guy there is no way you can presume something like that.