Scared to loose it all

LegacyUser

This time last year, I had no job, unemployed for about a year, no money and debts. My then partner of 5 years split up with me and I went through a very rough time.

Around November I made a list for myself of all the things I wanted to do.

Todate, I have achieved nearly all of my goals. I am in full time employment since Feb 2006 and I got a promotion last week. My company is also paying for me to do a course in an area I have always wanted to get
involved in.

I have a savings account and have nearly all my debts paid off. I also met a new man around Christmas and we have had ups and downs, as all couples do, but Im mad about him.

I basically crawled my way back from nothing.

I guess the point of this post is that Im terrified that I will loose it all again. It is amazing how things can go wrong so fast. Things you cant control. Maybe ive just answered my own thoughts, that somethings are out of people's control.

I am terrified that things will fall apart again.

miamee

I don't really understand which part you are afraid of losing?
Surely if you work hard at your job (which you obviously have been doing) you will conitnue to be employed. Being employed means you will continue to earn money & hopefully you can control whatever it was got you into such debt in the first place.

As for the relationship well you're right you cannot 'control' that just do your best & if it is meant to be I am sur ethings will work out for you there too

kittenkiller

Sometimes we only truely value things when we know that we could loose them.
You're probably a much stronger and more determined person than you were when your partner and yourself split up.
Look at all the things you've done!
That's all pretty amazing! You should be very proud of yourself.

You should also take comfort in knowing that you could do it all again if you needed to.
But this said, your new found strength, determination and competency will probably mean that you won't find yourself at such a loss anytime soon.

Enjoy all that you have now, do what you can to maintain it & relax about what's out of your control.

delly

First off, well done on getting yourself together and achieving so much all ready. You never know whats around the corner and all you can do is make provisions as best you can. Getting your debts paid of is great, and you will then be able to put a few quid away in a nestegg if things do go wrong.

Seriously though, you shouldn't worry about the unknown until something actually happens, you've done well thus far so I would think that you'll still keep moving up.

Mr Magnolia

delly wrote:

First off, well done on getting yourself together and achieving so much all ready. You never know whats around the corner and all you can do is make provisions as best you can. Getting your debts paid of is great, and you will then be able to put a few quid away in a nestegg if things do go wrong.

Seriously though, you shouldn't worry about the unknown until something actually happens, you've done well thus far so I would think that you'll still keep moving up.

Yup, congratulations. You should try not to worry, but if it does go wrong (and hopefully it never will) at least you know that you're made of the right stuff to sort it out

LegacyUser

Relax. Don't put yourself under stress wurrying
about stuff that more than likely will never
happen.

Do your best and U'll be grand.

Shenanigans

Sparks400 wrote:

Yup, congratulations. You should try not to worry, but if it does go wrong (and hopefully it never will) at least you know that you're made of the right stuff to sort it out

Great comment.... Its true what they say.. " you live ... you learn"... and you have learnt that in the most dire of situations you are strong enough to come through on top!

Alot of people have it really easy in life.. but alot of thos people really don't appreciate true happiness when they find it...

You do .. and You will continue to..

Black Swan

Sure, there's always a chance for a reversal of fortune. But just think of this. You had a plan, implemented it, and came out successful. You have developed survival skills in the process, and now know you can do it again if need be. So chill out and enjoy what you have accomplished.

secret_squirrel

ScaredFF wrote:

I am terrified that things will fall apart again.

Thats perfectly natural giving what you went through.

But look at the positive side of it. You were at your lowest, and you clawed your way back to where you wanted.

You realise how much guts that took? You have nothing to be scared of.

And if it happens again? So what? You have beaten it already, the second time will be easier.

This fear is the last thing you have to beat to be free of the past. With all you have accomplished are you gonna let the last tiny hurdle get in your way?

I dont think so. You've done the hard stuff, put your fear in a box and say goodbye to it.

You've won. Write down all you have accomplished and be proud.!!

Lust4Life

Look at it this way.
You lost it all and came back stronger and in better shape.
If it happens again, you can rebuild faster and even better. Right?

Cheer up! You're doing great! This is life!

PAINLESS

Well done on sorting your life out. very commendable!!
but it seems the only thing you really lost the first time was your partner right?
now im not saying thats a small thing by any means! but you had no job therefore no independance. you were obviously co dependant on him/her and when he/she left you were forced to fend for yourself.
now you've gained a job and independance and you should be very proud of yourself for getting up when you were put down..
nothing is certain but you've already proved that you can roll with the punches. start enjoying your life you deserve it.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the encouragement.

I keep "nit" picking things (the smallest things) and sometimes think to myself "Well why do this all again when it could fall apart"

I wasnt dependant on my partner. I had my own money. We had a long distant relationship for about 3-4 years. The agreement was that I would move to be closer to him, give up my job and get a new one.

During that period of unemployment, I used up most of my savings and got into debt. Then we split up.

You are right, some people have such an easy life and dont know the meaning of loss. You do appreciate things that little bit more when you know how easily things can slip away.

Maybe the only person you can rely on is yourself. I dont want to start building a little protective shell around myself but it sometimes feels like I am doing that.