Manky Mayonaisse

Beetlebum

At the risk of sounding crazy, I have a deep rooted hatred of mayonaisse. I can't stand the stuff. I've just come back from lunch and this girl I work with was eating coleslaw. Anytime she tried to talk to me I had to look away. She had little white bits of mayo at the sides of her mouth. I nearly got up and left....

Yesterday I realised my hatred of mayo was becoming a problem when a guy I work with asked me to pick him up a sandwich cause I was going to O'Briens. Simple enough....the trouble arose when he gave me his order:: Cheese, onion and EGG MAYONAISSE. So I took his money but I knew all the while that there was no way in hell that I was gonna order that. I came back and told him they had run out and I got him ham instead. Thank fook he believed me.

I'm not joking either, jeez I wish I was. The mere thought of mayonaisse makes me queasy...

Do any of you have any weird food phobia things or am I just a big freak o' nature??.....

petes

Beetlebum wrote:

At the risk of sounding crazy, I have a deep rooted hatred of mayonaisse. I can't stand the stuff. I've just come back from lunch and this girl I work with was eating coleslaw. Anytime she tried to talk to me I had to look away. She had little white bits of mayo at the sides of her mouth. I nearly got up and left....

It was only yesterday that I realised my hatred of mayo was becoming a problem when a guy I work with asked me to pick him up a sandwich cause I was going to O'Briens. Simple enough....the trouble arose when he gave me his order:: Cheese, onion and EGG MAYONAISSE. So I took his money but I knew all the while that there was no way in hell that I was gonna order that. I came back and told him they had run out and I got him ham instead. Thank fook he believed me.

I'm not joking either, jeez I wish I was. The mere thought of mayonaisse makes me queasy...

Do any of you have any weird food phobia things or am I just a big freak o' nature??.....

Eggs and mushrooms. Disgusting. Although I haven't seen anybody at work with either an egg or a mushroom at the side of their mouth.

xzanti

I have a friend who is like that but its not a food she hates, its cigarettes.. I know a lot of people including myself dislike smoking, but she takes it to the extreme, she won't even pick up a sealed pack off the table.. Completely ott about it... Each to their own I suppose

Giblet

I'm off to eat eggs covering in Mayonaisse (Mayonegg) covered in raw mushrooms.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

I know a girl who wont touch copper coins, i jokingly put on into her hand once and she dropped it and freaked out!

bluto63

I wouldn't be that extreme about food, I can touch any food. I just don't like mushrooms

Beetlebum

If I met a guy that I liked and he ordered an egg mayonaisse sandwich for his lunch, my attraction to him would drop at a phenomonal rate....I wouldn't want him near me...jesus, I really do sound crazy but it's true!!

petes

Egg mayonnaise is the work of the devil!

Sp@rtacus

I have a friend who eats... steel yourself Beetlebum... mayonnaise sambos. Just mayonnaise that is. Two slices of bread, no butter, no filling, jjjust mayonnaise. Now I wouldnt be averse to the odd dollop of the bad boy, but that is just wrong on sssoo many levels.

Rb

The only food I won't eat if possible is mushrooms. I like mayonaisse though, goes with so many different things and tastes great as far as I'm concerned. That said, I couldn't eat a pure mayonaisse sandwich.

trilo

ummm egg mayonaisse! yum!

last_orders

cant stand humus, the smell, texture, its discusting!!!! a mate of mine spread loads n my face once an i endced up getting sick in his garden

irlirishkev

Onions. Oh sweet sufferin' jaysis how I hate the things..

That 'Fundiddlyonion rings' ad on Sky 1.. I have to look away from the screen when it's on.

I don't mind it if onion was used in the cooking of food, but if there's chunks of onion, or if i can taste 'onion' in my food, then I don't want to eat it. Quite annoying really, cos anytime I go anywhere to eat, I have to specifically ask for no onions. It's in f*ckin* everything!!!!

Bllueeeghh..

petes

I love onions.

Sp@rtacus

last_orders wrote:

cant stand humus, the smell, texture, its discusting!!!! a mate of mine spread loads n my face once an i endced up getting sick in his garden

Is humus a code word that you young folk are using these days??

Sorry to add to your already serious phobia about mayo Beetlebum, but I just had to share this story. A friend of mine works in the Drug Squad and he wonce went to raid a house as is their want (:rolleyes: ). When they went into the bathroom they found the bathtub... FULL of coleslaw!!:eek: The fyunucking tinkers were amking it in the bath and then selling it into various local centras, spars etc...:eek: :eek: :eek:

Archeron

last_orders wrote:

cant stand humus, the smell, texture, its discusting!!!! a mate of mine spread loads n my face once an i endced up getting sick in his garden

I dont know what humus is, but it really doesnt sound like something that should be spread on your face.

arseagon

I used to really hate mayonaise until one day when I was working as a comp technician on the road all day, I stopped at a petrol station to get a sambo. Went and got one of those pre packaged ones (Chicken & Bacon). Wasn't till I opened the package that I realised there was mayonaise on the damn thing. Well I was so hungry, I decided to chance it and haven't looked back since. Can't get enough of chicken & bacon W Mayo ever since

Attractive Nun

The three M's of my nightmares. Mushrooms, Mustard and Mayonnaise. Yes, there are other foods I don't like and, yes, I could stomach all three if absolutely necessary, but I have a special reason for hating those three. How many BLTs, subways, burgers, sandwiches have been ruined by mayonnaise? How many pizzas, quiches, caseroles, stir-frys, spaghetti bolonnaises have been ruined by mushrooms? Mustard isn't so bad, it's generall confined to burgers and sandwiches and often served seperately for application as the customer sees fit, but still, not always.

I hate these three items. Time and again, they have destroyed my eating experiences. The amount of times I've gotten out of the taxi after a night out to stop into the local Abra, only for my chip butty, my BLT or my cheeseburger to be WRECKED by mayonnaise. No matter how stringently you ask for NO MAYONNAISE, they don't understand. Not even in my drunken states can I enjoy it.

I would happily ban the three M's if given any sort of power. In fact, I may start a poltical party, the "Serve mayonnaise like you serve ketchup, please" party.

Tubbertown1982

Beetlebum wrote:

If I met a guy that I liked and he ordered an egg mayonaisse sandwich for his lunch, my attraction to him would drop at a phenomonal rate....I wouldn't want him near me...jesus, I really do sound crazy but it's true!!

Well when they have mayo all over the side of their mouth i suppose that would be a bit manky or what about the white stuff that people get when the mouth is dry. Yummy

Beetlebum

Slightly of topic but when we were kids, myself and my sister used to go around the supermarket breaking things and opening things up. We'd crush biscuits, squash bread, break eggs and best of all smash mayonaisse jars!!

Beetlebum 1 - Mayonaise 0

Looking back I can't believe we used to do that, I remember getting such a kick out of it....
that was of course till we got caught....

Sp@rtacus

Beetlebum wrote:

...when we were kids, myself and my sister used to go around the supermarket breaking things and opening things up...

...was this when your mother was doing her shopping (and if so she shouldve given Beetlebum a good clip round the nmayonnaise hating ear) or more of a general hobby.

Beetlebum: "I'm bored"
Beetlebum sister: "Lets go down to Crazy Prices and break stuff."

snickerpuss

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote:

I know a girl who wont touch copper coins, i jokingly put on into her hand once and she dropped it and freaked out!

I have this problem and its not funny! (also..you big meanie)

Beetlebum

My mam would be doing her shopping....buying treats for her two wonderful children no doubt.....and we'd go around the shop just breaking stuff. We used to eat the big cadburys milk as drink juice aswelll.....then we'd skip back up to mommy sweet as honey.....kids, eh!!

Did nobody else do this...god I feel so evil!!

WhiteWashMan

i have a thing about breakfast buns or rolls

it is just wrong to eat cold suasages and rashers and egg ina roll.

its just wrong. i find the idea physically repulsive.

stick them warm on a plate, with a slice of toast, and i will eat the exact same thing....

weird.

Sp@rtacus

WhiteWashMan wrote:

i have a thing about breakfast buns or rolls

it is just wrong to eat cold suasages and rashers and egg ina roll.

its just wrong. i find the idea physically repulsive.

stick them warm on a plate, with a slice of toast, and i will eat the exact same thing....

weird.

Not weird at all. Cold sausage egg and rasher. <shudder>
You wouldnt drink a cold cup of coffee would you?

WhiteWashMan

not on purpose

arseagon

Sp@rtacus wrote:

You wouldnt drink a cold cup of coffee would you?

Ugh, nothing worse than taking a swig of stone cold coffee because you're concentrating too hard on something else.

jor el

I'm with you Beetlebum, ban mayonnaise and all mayonnaise related products (coleslaw, burger sauce, etc) now! It turns my stomach just to look at it, let alone smell it (and I'll never taste it again).

I hate getting a sandwich made in some places (especially in England as it's impossible to buy a sandwich over there without mayonnaise on it) because they look at you like you have two heads when you say you don't want mayonnaise on it. It really peeves me when they don't clean the mayonnaise off the knife before buttering my bread.

I also have a dread fear of tomatoes. It's the texture of the tomato I think more so than taste. I get any in my mouth and I'd be heaving up. Picked up a ham sandwich once and didn't realise there was tomato in it, I nearly choked. I love tomato sauce and puree though.

You wouldnt drink a cold cup of coffee would you?

Coffee, ban that too. Horrible stuff.

Ruu_Old

markdunne wrote:

Ugh, nothing worse than taking a swig of stone cold coffee because you're concentrating too hard on something else.

That and a nice chocolate digestive biccie going soggy and falling into the cuppa.

I don't like getting the chicken tenders or nuggets that they have in supermarket delis, I just don't trust the people.

Lust4Life

I have a friend with a phobia for peanutbutter.
It stemmed from a toilet training incident as a babe.
Bad Mommy. Bad Mommy.

I like to eat peanutbutter in front of him and watch him freak out. It's quite entertaining.

Lurk

I can't eat pizzas that are made up for you at deli counters (you choose the toppings and then take them home to the oven)....twice I've found myself sitting on the toilet while perched over the bath, projectile pizza parts coming out both ends. durty delis, durty delis

johnny_ultimate

Mayonaisse is fast becoming my favourite condiment. I can't get a roll anymore without it being smoothered in sweet, fatty mayo. Yummy. Onions too.

Onions and mayo - the best combo on the planet. Really.
Now butter - that's nasty stuff. Scuttery.

Anaiyela

Lurk wrote:

I can't eat pizzas that are made up for you at deli counters (you choose the toppings and then take them home to the oven)....twice I've found myself sitting on the toilet while perched over the bath, projectile pizza parts coming out both ends. durty delis, durty delis

Thats the funniest post I've read in a long time!

I'll have to disagree with the OP here, I love mayonaisse, mmmmm mayonaisse
lovely on hot toast with nothing else

DublinWriter

petes wrote:

Egg mayonnaise is the work of the devil!

For your delectation and purgitration I present, "Satan's Sandwich" consisting of:

Diced boiled egg
Mayonnaise
Tuna
Beetroot

Humous is lovely - all it is is chick peas and suitable even for a vegan diet. You'd swear it was offal the way some of you are going on. Try it cold as a dip with chipper-chips. Niiiice.

Most of you humous/mayo haters wouldn't think twice about eating a burger blissfully unaware of the horror that is MRM.

And speaking of burgers, Eddie Rocket's burger sauce is basically Mayo mixed with mustard. Having said that I would eat an Eddie Rocket's burger as they use proper Irish mince-meat and not MRM.

johnny_ultimate

I ordered a calazone there the other week, and being brave, I ordered the one with feta and humus, despite having absolutely no idea what either were. Two bizarre foodstuffs, but not that bad...
And over in Europe during the summer, I ordered a beetroot smoothie by mistake. Now that is nasty.

Wez

When I was in secondary school and unemployed, I used to get a warm roll and slap mayo in it! It was that reall cheap tasting mayo, was kinda sweet..

The reason I started doing it was that I had a fetish for a bacon roll with mayo, but then when I had no job, I got just mayo to remind me of the taste! I loved them! Miss them alot!

Dave!

I like most (normal) foods. The only thing I can think of off the top of my head, that I'd try to avoid, is mushrooms. That's not to say that if someone slices up a mushroom with a razor blade, and puts the mushroom into my food, that I'll root out the pieces. But if I stick my spoon into a food dish, pull it out, and notice a mushroom on the top of the pile, then there's a good chance that I will take it off and place it at the side of my plate. Over time, a large pile of mushrooms may accumulate at the side of my plate. I may call it the "mushroom pile".

My dog would get them

Karl Hungus

Meh, I don't like mayonaise, or for that matter ketchup, but I can't say there's any big thing about it. I mean, not ordering egg mayonaise for a friend despite the fact you won't be eating it yourself? That's just mental illness.

I love mushrooms though.

DublinWriter

johnny_ultimate wrote:

I ordered a calazone there the other week, and being brave, I ordered the one with feta and humus

WHERE can I order this food of the Gods?

I've dared dream of folded pizza+humous, but never thought it possible!

theTinker

The taste and consistency of mayo is horrible. I cant bear looking at it. Its all gooey and mushy, its like snot.

DublinWriter

Attractive Nun wrote:

The amount of times I've gotten out of the taxi after a night out to stop into the local Abra, only for my chip butty, my BLT or my cheeseburger to be WRECKED by mayonnaise.

Interesting. You'll happily eat fecal matter and recal tissue in the burger patty of your average Abra burger, but you won't eat Mayo; just a combination of egg-white and vinegar?

Do you really have a clue what you're putting into your body, or is it all just style over substance?

L31mr0d

why the HELL do people eat Mushrooms. I avoid them like the plague. Here is the dictionaries definition of fungus:

any of a diverse group of eukaryotic single-celled or multinucleate organisms that live by decomposing and absorbing the organic material in which they grow, comprising the mushrooms, molds, mildews, smuts, rusts, and yeasts, and classified in the kingdom Fungi or, in some classification systems, in the division Fungi (Thallophyta) of the kingdom Plantae.

Disgusting, the same stuff that grows under my toenails is what people chop up and put on a pizza.

I'm ok with mayo though. A whopper wouldn't be the same with it.

Lurk

DublinWriter wrote:

Interesting. You'll happily eat fecal matter and recal tissue in the burger patty of your average Abra burger, but you won't eat Mayo; just a combination of egg-white and vinegar?
Do you really have a clue what you're putting into your body, or is it all just style over substance?

lmao
Have just added burgers to my objectionable-food list. I better stop reading this thread now in case I end up wastin' away.

johnny_ultimate

DublinWriter wrote:

WHERE can I order this food of the Gods?

I've dared dream of folded pizza+humous, but never thought it possible!

Try Lunch in Dublin. It's located on that street behind Grafton and the Powercourt Centre, near the International Bar. Approximately. Get the Greek Calazone. That shall fulfil the prohecy of Humus and Folded Pizza recited in the book of Genesis, and perdicted by philosophers and psychics and madmen throughout the ages.
Edit: Oh yeah and ní maith liom mushrooms. Horrible, fungus thingies that single handedly manage to destroy all foodstuffs they touch. Of course they are fairly tasteless, but the texture makes me vomit from every orifice. Yes, including the naval.

mloc

mayonaise is probably the single most disgusting substance to taint this great earth.

I despise the stuff.