Am I mad or could I make money

duckegg

A little while ago while i was angry i started writing a book here is a sample what do you think .Should I go back on the tablets or what ?
If i am in the wrong place i am sorry [ newbie ]

VIEW FROM A GLASS DOOR
BY
ME

First if it’s in here it’s because I put it here so leave it alone
.
Page 1 chapter 11

WARNING

**** OFF yeah I always liked that WARNING go on ok I will when I am ready Jesus so many voices which one to listen too me me me me, before I even start I was thinking
numbers who’s idea was it and why should we stick to them what gob****e sat down and decided 1 + 1 = 2 if it had of been me looking at it I would never have come up with it I reckon most people would go 1+1=11 simple imagine a world with just these numbers simple, HAGGLING how much do you want for that 11 he says no to dear I says I will give you 1 ok simple no messing around straight to the point in my world 1-11=1 these would be our only numbers DAYS in the week 11 take a sick day or a day off how many days left to work 1, **** that’s a short week I can see where your going BUSES the number 11 would go everywhere and where it did not you would get the number 1 simple easy for everyone so that would also mean hours in the day would be 11 that’s a short day that’s a working day so that means 1 hour work that leaves the rest of the time for you to do as you please except weekends were as we all know a very important so a weekend day would be 1+1=11 as it’s a weekend you add another 1 so it equals 1+1+1=111 what a weekend madness ok ok let me have a shot days in the week hours in the day bollix hey this is good la la la get on with it or give it back to me yes you said it here we go WARNING **** OFF stop doing that what the WARNING **** OFF BIT OK I PROMISE AND SO IT GOES ON ...

Raytown Rocks

I would go with mad.....definitely mad.

duckegg

chef wrote:

I would go with mad.....definitely mad.

here,s another slice.

NO MORE warning **** OFF I told you, so to begin
James Joyce I know most of you are thinking ah holy Jesus no hang I am sitting here thinking he can write a book and stick in gibberish and dickheads fall over it and a make a living spewing crab about how wonderful his grasp of language was, well bollix if you took excerpts from his book and tried handing it to any English teacher they would think you were bleeding stoned I will deliberately not name the book because everyone knows it they are just afraid to admit it so as not appear to be tick well maybe this pile of ****e I am writing will one day bring tourists to Dublin looking for references from the book so if I do mention some place most of them will be in the inner city see will there be any pratts cycling around there doing tours and having breakfasts I don’t think so unless there is a large police protection

neGev

What language is this book supposed to be written in ?

LegacyUser

we don't want your drugs round here, lewis

petes

Mad as a bag of badgers.

Mad Mike

stp wrote:

we don't want your drugs round here, lewis

Trading Places ?

In reply to original poster - I'm not qualified to comment on your work but if you are serious about writing then you should head along to a creative writing class.

sinjin_smythe

but, but, but 1+1=2
or at least thats what i was made to believe.........

Chinafoot

Moved to Creative Writing..

duckegg

weedhead wrote:

but, but, but 1+1=2
or at least thats what i was made to believe.........

exactly MADE believe;)

duckegg

peachypants wrote:

Moved to Creative Writing..

aah peachy there was more to come ,i taught the was for humor ,but then as usual the mods move in and tell us what we can and cannot see

petes

duckegg wrote:

aah peachy there was more to come ,i taught the was for humor ,but then as usual the mods move in and tell us what we can and cannot see

So you can't see this in the Creative Writing froum? I could think of a much better place for it.

Sarky

Yeah, how dare some creative writing get moved to the Creative Writing forum.


Anyway:

duckegg wrote:

If i am in the wrong place i am sorry [ newbie ]

That completely waives any rights you thought you had to complain about the move. If you're serious, best just get on with it. The rest of you, more constuctive criticism. Calling someone mad or quoting tv shows won't help writing skills.

duckegg

SARKY
Myself and the other voices thank you

duckegg

petes wrote:

So you can't see this is the Creative Writing froum? I could think of a much better place for it.

Well done stans brother

duckegg

duckegg wrote:

SARKY
Myself and the other voices thank you

I wrote this while i was very angry, grammer is not very good but here it is
By
ME

First if it’s in here it’s because I put it here so leave it alone
.
Page 1 chapter 11

WARNING

**** OFF yeah I always liked that WARNING go on ok I will when I am ready Jesus so many voices which one to listen too me me me me, before I even start I was thinking VIEW FROM A GLASS DOOR
numbers who’s idea was it and why should we stick to them what gob****e sat down and decided 1 + 1 = 2 if it had of been me looking at it I would never have come up with it I reckon most people would go 1+1=11 simple imagine a world with just these numbers simple, HAGGLING how much do you want for that 11 he says no to dear I says I will give you 1 ok simple no messing around straight to the point in my world 1-11=1 these would be our only numbers DAYS in the week 11 take a sick day or a day off how many days left to work 1, **** that’s a short week I can see where your going BUSES the number 11 would go everywhere and where it did not you would get the number 1 simple easy for everyone so that would also mean hours in the day would be 11 that’s a short day that’s a working day so that means 1 hour work that leaves the rest of the time for you to do as you please except weekends were as we all know a very important so a weekend day would be 1+1=11 as it’s a weekend you add another 1 so it equals 1+1+1=111 what a weekend madness ok ok let me have a shot days in the week hours in the day bollix hey this is good la la la get on with it or give it back to me yes you said it here we go WARNING **** OFF stop doing that what the WARNING **** OFF BIT OK I PROMISE NO MORE warning **** OFF I told you, so to begin
James Joyce I know most of you are thinking ah holy Jesus no hang I am sitting here thinking he can write a book and stick in gibberish and dickheads fall over it and a make a living spewing crab about how wonderful his grasp of language was, well bollix if you took excerpts from his book and tried handing it to any English teacher they would think you were bleeding stoned I will deliberately not name the book because everyone knows it they are just afraid to admit it so as not appear to be tick well maybe this pile of ****e I am writing will one day bring tourists to Dublin looking for references from the book so if I do mention some place most of them will be in the inner city see will there be any pratts cycling around there doing tours and having breakfasts I don’t think so unless there is a large police protection.

So enough of that for a minute to explain the title I sit in a hall facing a glass door that looks on to a street and all I see is a bookies in front of me when I first came here I promised myself I would not set foot in it as I would on average lose most of my money but then again that’s me and my mouth so sitting here on my ten hour shift can give you some very clear thoughts or scary gibberish what ever way you look at it, I will not give you the location yet for fear those tourists I talked about earlier might want to come over and there is one pub in particular I would not want custom given to I could go into reasons but why bother I am just bleeding petty in anyway it is one of the priciest in town yeah yeah
So looking out from day to day you see allsorts the bookies are frequented by a lot of politicians so I thinks to myself what a ****en waste of space they are they don’t manufacture anything they only help themselves. the best thing we could is wipe them out now just think about it, they come to us for work we tell them what we want, we vote them in then they turn around ignore us and do what the hell they like and tell us what to do so if we get rid of them how will we benefit, well first off there’s the wages plus we would not have to listen to the amount of garbage that comes from them, the ozone layer would slow its depletion forests would rejuvenate because of less need paper we could actually make some money from them rather than kill them off we could house them in a zoo and charge to see them or better still have safari’s and charge to hunt them down then we turn the government buildings into brothels a more noble calling which in turn would keep the ladies and gentleman of this profession safe of the streets and in good health any excess space would be taken up by the homeless the revenue from some of these projects would be ploughed into the health service with publicity like that we would not need the tourist board saving more money in this day and age if they don’t know who or where we are **** them we don’t need fools like that in our country back to the politicians with them gone there would be no need for protesting in town thus freeing up traffic plus abolish bus corridors let them take their chance like the rest of us if your journey is longer **** you yeah leave earlier
the garda should have a metre and sign like taxi drivers so when they are double parked or say running a red light we would know they were on duty and when not on duty they could pay for parking like they bleeding rest of us while we are on the subject of traffic if you are a cyclist and choose to use the pavements I should have the right to follow you in my car Jesus the pain in my head is back.

Do you know I never knew there was so many bleeding beggars in this town till we moved here that’s ok each to his own, but if you ask and I say no don’t bleeding follow me around that really pisses me off is there some ****ing college for beggars at least the Irish graduates of this school either just sit with hand or cup out and maybe ask once but our European graduates of the illustrious school seem to have take an extra course in stalking
.
Asylum

A place of sanctuary
History; a place that once offered shelter to criminals and debtors, especially a church.
If you don’t believe me look it up, anyone looking for asylum here should be locked up were its nice and safe and if they don’t like that let them piss off, then the do gooders say but we went here and there and were taken in yes ok but when do we stop paying for the famine and when we went anywhere we worked so I say abolish asylum let them work or they can **** off sorry didn’t see that coming WARNING a bit late another thing why do we pay for deportation if you had a party and someone you did not know turned up would you pay for a taxi for them to leave I don’t think so and how come if the ****ers who sell the big issue why do they only ever have one copy so I say let them work or **** off no more warnings angry head on me now I don’t mind them driving but what’s on there passports that allow them to drive without tax and insurance now I know what your thinking here we go he’s using words like them and they he must be an raci hang on let me in there see he’s right didn’t finish the word but you know what it is maybe I am mind reader or just pissed or crazy lets just say I decide to drive down a pedestrian street at high speed in one of there countries ploughing down people what do you think would happen yeah you said it hacked to death do it here agh no problem we will give you a few months and deport you see yeah, anyone try begging lately in Romania or signing on in Nigeria or better still work in china or here s one the next time you are in a Muslim country demand to ware your national costume Ireland jersey and shorts and a pint in your hand your girlfriend can be in her belly top and denims with a breezier in her hand see how far you’d get do you think anyone would interfere with the flogging don’t bleeding think so, what do you think would happen if you went to anyone of or asylum seekers countries without you passport or identification because you destroyed it on route any ideas no, I do not think you’d be put on the housing list and giving money for a few years and given time to have kids to get a free passport nope so I say if you land here without identification you will be allowed work to pay for your ticket to piss off somewhere if you are genuine there’s no need to hide who you are you can stay and live and work here but with our laws if your country was such a ****e hole that you’d have to leave then it should have no trouble embracing my country not piss on it; plus lets help you fit in we will keep some of your wonderful customs like chopping of hands for stealing from us lets not forget that old reliable of beheading ,hanging ,stoning to death, garrotting and torture and as usual if there is anything left out like all your ****y countries we will make it up as we go along.

My turn
Why does nearly every bleeding robbery down the country seem to have a witness that’s seen a Dublin reg car leave the scene? If the country people dislike Dublin they can piss off as well think of the jobs wed have what we should really do is wait for a long weekend and build a big ****en wall around the city and charge them to get back in and they could have pass’s so they can leave but with only with a certain amount of cash, if cork is so great boy why is there so many of them up here dirty Dublin only became so when all the boggers arrived hang on there is some ****er puking up outside to bookies cant hold his drink that’s another thing there should be a puke police to make these ****ers eat it back of the ground or shovel it up and send it to the hungry somewhere aah here we go I know you can get caught out sometimes hang on back in a mo sorry just had to see for myself a bleeding wino pissing in the middle of the street so I told him to **** off so get this he starts walking towards me while still pissing there should be a law that states I can staple his foreskin to his chin just heard on the news there bring in community coppers I might release that old stevie wonder song Partime Copper that’s a good one heres me thinking all the cops were partime except when there’s overtime or a big match in croke park speaking of which everyone’s patting each on the back about croker being opened up the gaa only did it for the money plus now it’s a stadium for all sports there will be no question of them ever having to pay for all the garda overtime when they have concerts etc yeah what a wonderful bunch, god sometimes I wish Dublin lost all the time so the bastards didn’t get our money, role on professionalism and then we will get rid of those none drinking ass kissing priest lovers hold on were saving the priests for later .She’s nice looking I wonder why the bookies have different girls all the time is there something going on in there or
Why the **** is these road sweeper machines so bleeding loud and if there’s no problem with them why has this geezer get ear muffs. All they do is move the dirt around or blow it out of the way what happened to all the lads with the barrows or is the Grafton street area to posh for that so that means I go deaf but it looks good having new technology on the streets even if they are crap,
Seems on the news there is some bleeding report about speeding 98% of people speed were the **** did they take this survey on a bleeding autobahn in Germany how the **** can you speed in a bleeding car park that is Dublin its more likely you get a bit excited when you all of a sudden find you have a bit of space in front of you so you become disorientated a little scared and like all animals want to return to the herd so we speed to catch up in anyway when this survey was taking place why was the job not given to the cops then they could have given out tickets as well .its quiet now, Jesus that sounds like a bad movie I like this time of the morning when nobody is in yet not to many on the street except the regulars the Chinese cleaners the tall bloke must follow him some time, the builders **** me have you ever seen so many bleeding fluorescent jackets in all your life even the bums on the street have them one night a year every with one should gather in the phoenix park and form obscene images that way if there is any life in space it will piss them off and they will come down to have a closer look thus saving vast amounts of money looking for the gob****es in space ignore the gob****e remarks if you are out there, thinking about it if there is intelligent life maybe they just all be dead by the time space travel can be of any benefit, so let the ****ers in the future pay for it, have to do a bit of work now don’t know why I wrote that down . Back now haven’t been able to write anything in awhile haven’t been angry in a while except last weekend at Croker Jesus we really ****ed up.

Northside still at the door 2 years on

Sarky

This strikes me as a pretty poor blog entry from someone who wants to complain about the state of the country yet either can't or won't post on Politics.

Please feel free to prove me wrong, but I can't see this lasting long.

duckegg

Sarky wrote:

This strikes me as a pretty poor blog entry from someone who wants to complain about the state of the country yet either can't or won't post on Politics.

Please feel free to prove me wrong, but I can't see this lasting long.

Maybe i am lonely and just miss understood,does that mean you are going to move me on to Poltics if you do fine getting moved is a great way to meet people, Tell me is there any forums where the mods dont care that you dont comply i have noted since i joined there is a huge gulf between people who are afaird to post for fear of ridacule and people who seem to have no life judging by the amount of time they have spent posting present company excluded its ok do [ If you prick me I will not bleed for I am already DEAD ] Living as a Zombie

duckegg

Sarky wrote:

This strikes me as a pretty poor blog entry from someone who wants to complain about the state of the country yet either can't or won't post on Politics.

Please feel free to prove me wrong, but I can't see this lasting long.

Just being nosey whats [ Order of the Dragon ]

Sarky

... What?


I'm asking you to defend your writing, and you're going off on a "fight teh POWAR" tangent. I did ask you to prove me wrong. If you're just going to whinge at how unfair moderators are, go to Feedback.

duckegg

Sarky wrote:

... What?


I'm asking you to defend your writing, and you're going off on a "fight teh POWAR" tangent. I did ask you to prove me wrong. If you're just going to whinge at how unfair moderators are, go to Feedback.

Jayus dont lose the head maybe I was mistaken about this board i just stuck it out here to see what anyone had to say regardless and look what happened I found a FRIEND
Nice to see someone spells as bad as i do
I do not need to defend it if its crap then crap it is, but its out there we are talking i am happy and i did not think it would have lasted this long .
"Catch you on the flip "