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  • 25-09-2006 11:55pm
    #1
    hullaballoo
    Administrators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,715 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭


    I've always shied away from posting stuff in this forum because I'm a little baffled by my inability to write properly on boards. I wrote this poem last year when I was going through some very weird stuff.

    I Love the Sky When the Trees are Black

    The bare chill pinches at the branches as the trees stand,
    Frozen still.
    In the fading light, ice is rife, piercing my jacket to touch my skin.
    I love the sky when the trees are black.
    It’s winter now, and Jack? well he'll be here
    ‘Til the lambs come back.


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    #2
    6th
    Registered Users Posts: 17,247 ✭✭✭✭6th


    Love the poem but reading the title and then the poem took something away from me. Still like i said "like the poem".


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    #3
    duckegg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 56 ✭✭duckegg


    hullaballoo wrote:
    I've always shied away from posting stuff in this forum because I'm a little baffled by my inability to write properly on boards. I wrote this poem last year when I was going through some very weird stuff.

    I Love the Sky When the Trees are Black

    The bare chill pinches at the branches as the trees stand,
    Frozen still.
    In the fading light, ice is rife, piercing my jacket to touch my skin.
    I love the sky when the trees are black.
    It’s winter now, and Jack? well he'll be here
    ‘Til the lambs come back.
    love it


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    #4
    Blush_01
    Registered Users Posts: 5,016 ✭✭✭Blush_01


    Ok, I'll look at this again when sober and not sleep deprived, but at the moment, I think it's great. If I was to change anything, I'd change the word back in the last line to home. IMHO, the word back seems to force a rather neat rhyming scheme that exists within the former parts of the poem.

    That said, I'm both drunk and not poetry's biggest fan.

    POST MORE STUFF!!!


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