Backhanded compliments for my boss

oppressed11

I have a problem with my boss. He took an instant dislike to me and has always been hard on me no matter how hard and well I work. He plays favourites and in our small office has one particular favourite and treats the rest poorly. The favourite is good at her job but not outstandingly so as we are all good at our jobs. In particular two of us keep the office ticking over while my boss and this favourite work on “Glory projects” where they get to hob nob and rub shoulders with people who will help their careers. Actually, they have both gone somewhere today without telling us where. Only that an employee in another office told us we wouldn’t know. The funny thing is that I should really be going as I am on that project, but I wasn’t told about it. My boss is technically very good but lousy at people management. It’s crappy as there is no outlet to assess his performance. He gives me great reviews on my actual work then slaps me down on intangible, subjective things like “positive attitude”, “drive” etc. It’s very frustrating.


Anway, the good news is that he is leaving (promoted kind of (the Peter principle I suppose)) and will be replaced by a good guy who will hopefully be fairer. Anyway, there will be a card going around probably and I am looking for a suitably ambiguous back handed compliment to write on it. It can’t be too obvious but if read the right way is a damning insult – something like “ I hope your new boss is as good a boss as you were to me”. Something like that only more subtle and clever so that no-one can accuse me of being bitter.

Nuttzz

dont bother, be a grown up, dont fall to his level....

seamus

As Nuttzz says, just be adult about it.

You never know when he'll end up being your boss again.

oppressed11

You’re right and I won’t actually go through with it but it’s therapeutic to think about it to work through the frustrations and damage that this individual has done to my career.

Speaking of being an adult, less of the condescending posts please!

mel123

I think the comment you said is perfect. Ok probably a little childish but in effect this person has been a bully so do u really care if your comment is a little childish!!??

stepbar

How about "To the best boss ever, sad to see you go"

now thats scarcism

seamus

oppressed11 wrote:

You’re right and I won’t actually go through with it but it’s therapeutic to think about it to work through the frustrations and damage that this individual has done to my career.

I understand your frustration, but without any hint of condescension, the person with the greatest influence on your career is you. Unless you're in the military, or otherwise bound to a career where you can't just move, then there's no real excuse for allowing a bad boss to have a negative effect on your career.

Strokesfan

stepbar wrote:

How about "To the best boss ever, sad to see you go"

now thats scarcism

That's hilarious, bet the boss will mistakenly think it's geniune knowing the OP's luck

MG

What you are describing is bullying under my reading of the HSA definition. If it's a problem that will go away, then there is little point taking it any further. Bullying eats away at your self-esteem and sometimes a little victory like this can be the first step towards re-building your self-esteem, so I find it understandable. I think that is probably your main motivation and that's goods as it shows a determination to succeed in the window of opportunity when your boss leaves. Good luck!

stepbar

Strokesfan wrote:

That's hilarious, bet the boss will mistakenly think it's geniune knowing the OP's luck

Lets hope he does! Seriously OP I would try it for the craic... what have you to lose

Stark

oppressed11 wrote:

He gives me great reviews on my actual work then slaps me down on intangible, subjective things like “positive attitude”, “drive” etc. It’s very frustrating.

Maybe you're attitude is lacking. Take a step back from the situation and look at how you might come across from his point of view. I can't judge much from just 2 posts, but so far you've picked a username that says "persecution complex" and your childish idea to put snide comments on his going away card isn't going to help your career at all.

There could be any number of reasons on your part as to why this girl is his favourite and you're not. When's the last time you did your hair and wore a nice skirt to work?

Agent Smith

sign it
"this was the best resterant i ever ate it,

your loving son...

Queen Victoria"


He'll be too confused to say anything to you

oppressed11

Thank you for the replies. Actually, it got me thinking something I had not considered before – Am I being bullied?

I’m not sure, it’s subtle if it is. It’s not shouting or anything, it’s just undermining me at crucial times. I’ve already said that I was excluded from a conference I should have gone to but there are other examples. Earlier in the year I was really working flat out, rarely taking a lunch break even as we were understaffed and some people were out. At one stage I ran the office single handed virtually for a month covering two other peoples jobs. I got no thanks or praise for this. We also extended our system during this time so it was very busy with testing etc. At a meeting a few weeks after, my boss all but accused the office of being lazy. However, between people being out, new employees and people who weren’t around in the previous period, it was generally felt that he could only be referring to me and another person who was not at the meeting. He bought breakfast the next morning – we all assume as some sort of apology though he never apologised.

In another instance, I was given a task which I had begun and was on time, then an employee from another office turned up one day to do the task without me being informed.

Just this week, I have been moved sideways to allow his favourite more time to work on “Glory projects”.

Also at every performance review, he mentions a mistake which cost the company about €2,000. He doesn’t explicitly say it was my fault, he just always mentions it. In fact, it was about half my fault, as the person who set up the process gave me incorrect information. Anyway, last week I found out that he made a mistake costing about 1,700 yet he continually mentions the 2k error.

He also gave me a hard time about updating some paperwork (I had not prioritised it as there was more urgent stuff to get through). Anyway, I made a big effort to get through it. It’s been sitting on his desk for over a month, waiting for sign off. (This is just typical of bosses in general though, isn’t it?)

Finally, we were not allowed take holidays in September as we were implementing a new system. Today is his second day off this month!

At least one other worker would have similar feelings about him.

Sorry if this is muddle. Thank God he is going, but I am worried about how he could be undermining me with other people. Am I being bullied or paranoid?

oppressed11

Stark wrote:

Maybe you're attitude is lacking. Take a step back from the situation and look at how you might come across from his point of view. I can't judge much from just 2 posts, but so far you've picked a username that says "persecution complex" and your childish idea to put snide comments on his going away card isn't going to help your career at all.

There could be any number of reasons on your part as to why this girl is his favourite and you're not. When's the last time you did your hair and wore a nice skirt to work?

I understand where you are coming from and you're right about the username and idea (not a snide comment by the way) but please understand that I worked my balls off for this guy during a very difficult family time for me. My attitude in this regard was first rate. I've hit every target. I'm popular among my co-workers, especially the new employees I've trained in. It's also true that my boss is a sourpuss and a moper so I'm fairly confident that, relatively people at least, I think my attitude is good.

homeOwner

Is it at all possible that the boss and the girl are romantically involved?

Aoife-FM104

It sounds like you're overreacting.

It seems like the problem is he's simply a bad manager. My manager is a bad manager, not sure what the hell he does all day, declines me holidays requests etc. But I try to focus on his "good points" which are basically no communication, no stress, no nothing. Basically we are left to do things ourselves. This is fine by me as I hate meddling managers.

Also, is this a job you want to have forever or just a pay the bills for 12 months kind of thing?

I treat my job very much as a pay the bills for 12 months, so I try to just keep my head down and think about the money. With your new manager starting soon, I would try to do the same if I were you. There are lots of idiots in this world, and if you let them get to you, it'll just depress you to no end (like what's happening now!)