Silly Telephone Answering Machine Messages

Lust4Life

So what's the silliest anwering machine message you've ever heard or had on your own machine?


I had one on my machine a few years back in winter saying...
"Okay, so you know it's really really really cold outside and our house is really cold inside and we've discovered that the warmest place in the house is the bathroom, so we've all moved into that room for the duration of winter... and don't worry, I've brought a partition along for those..um..private moments... so anyway, leave a message and when it warms up, we'll be sure to call you back!"

And wouldn't you know the first caller after I made that message happened to be the Church Secretary! She laughed at it, though!

So... what's you most memorable??

Larry David

This should be moved to 'Humour'.....but not yet, as it hasn't got funny yet.

Anyone got any messages that aren't crap?

Rb

Lust4Life wrote:

I had one on my machine a few years back in winter saying...
"Okay, so you know it's really really really cold outside and our house is really cold inside and we've discovered that the warmest place in the house is the bathroom, so we've all moved into that room for the duration of winter... and don't worry, I've brought a partition along for those..um..private moments... so anyway, leave a message and when it warms up, we'll be sure to call you back!"

Oh God, what on Earth made you put that message on the machine?Were you high at the time?Its so, so bad...no offence.
Those messages that start with "hello? <pause>GOT YA HAHAHA" are retarded also.

Oh and um, no, we've always had a pretty straight forward message on ours.

Lust4Life

Oh, c'mon! Don't you ever like to shake things up?
Where's your sense of humour?

Dooom

Larry David wrote:

This should be moved to 'Humour'.....but not yet, as it hasn't got funny yet.

Anyone got any messages that aren't crap?

Rofl

I love you. Tehwhinlegend badge is on its way to you.

Faith

I had the whole "Hello?... Hello?... I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Can you speak up please?... Ahahaha, I'm just messing, leave a message" for ages when I was 14, and I thought it was hilarious! Even funnier were the messages that people left after it. "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? HELLO?"

mloc

I once heard someone had recorded the "Sorry, but you don't have sufficient call credit to make this call..." message as thier voicemail message. Brilliant!

Dinxminx

I used to have a whole load of weird ones. Really, REALLY strange ones:

"Hi, I'm pretending to be a turtle so leave me a message and I'll call you back when I come out of my shell...."

..for example.

Boredom is a killer!!!

Ruu_Old

I've had a number of Dom Joly (HEEELLLOOO!) ones in the past, infact one of them is still on my mobile and I got a call back from saying that I shouted at them last time they called. I think you can download them on the channel 4 website.

Archeron

Heard one on the radio a while back. A really metallic robot voice says.

Hello. This is the fridge. The answering machine is not well at the moment, so please leave a message with me and I'lll do my best to pass it on.

Was funny at the time, but I was stuck in traffic, so that could explain why...

Sleepy

My friend had this one, sung in a cheesy barbershop quartet way:

"We're sorry we're not home right now but thank you for your call.
We're such happy people, we love you one and all.
Please leave your name and phone number we'll call you back with luck.
But if you should hang up right now go take a flying…" BEEP!

me and the biz

A mate once had the sounds of an orgy with him saying in the background "I'm kinda busy, call back later" as his answering machine

Miguel_Sanchez

You know the way you can get into someone's message minder pretty easy if they haven't changed their password from the default?

Well a few years back I got into my friend's one. Changed his message to a rambling South American druglord message about buying sugar and women and then changed his password so he couldn't change it back.

He didn't find out until his parent's house phone broke and his whole household had to rely on his mobile for phonecalls for about three weeks. People ringing to talk to his grandmother didn't know what was going on. His Da thought it was funny though.

L31mr0d

I used to use the one off "Reality bites", the one on Ethan Hawkes characters answering machine, it went:

"At the beep please leave your name, number and a brief justification for the ontological necessity of modern man's existential dilemma and we'll get back to you"

Thought it was quite witty but my friends would usually just leave messages along the lines of "shawah? up your own arse in fairness" So it got deleted, clearly none of them had seen the movie or understood it.

I then went onto a one where I would start it with "Hello" wait for a few seconds so that they would start talking thinking i'd answered, then say "yeah, this is actually the answering machine so leave a message"

I found people would just hang up and not leave any message, even when I genuinely would answer the phone and say "hello"

So I then used "This is the answering machine, if you don't want to pay for this call hang up befor..." *beep*

I've since learnt irritating people whom you want to recieve messages off isn't the way to go. I now simple just have my name and ask the person to leave a message.

Feral Mutant

"Hi, I'm probably here. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message and if I don't call back, it's you."
Got it off some list of joke ones. I think that's still my message, it's been ages since I set it.

shane86

Held mine up to the tv and had Samuel L and his "ENGLISH MOTHER****ER DO YOU SPEAK IT??!!?" as mine. I thought twas great.

Removed it, isnt the best thing for prospective employers to hear if your looking for work and they give you a call.

Lust4Life

Posted by Feral Mutant:
"Hi, I'm probably here. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message and if I don't call back, it's you."
Got it off some list of joke ones. I think that's still my message, it's been ages since I set it.

Ah, that's what I love about caller ID. I can put "DO NOT ANSWER!" in for those numbers.