Paranoid about pregnancy

LegacyUser

OK I don't post here often but I think I need to do something about this irrational fear I have of getting pregnant. I am 21, and because of this fear avoided sleeping with boyfriends in my teens. I lost my virginity earlier this year, and have only had sex once. I have been on the Pill for 3 years due to irregular periods, and used a condom and yet I spent a week worrying myself sick that I was pregnant. I knew it was silly, since there is only a 10% or so chance of getting pregnant using NO protection, and both condoms and the Pill are upwards of 98% effective, but I was convinced I was going to be the one caught out. I was convinced the condom broke and that I took my Pills at slightly different times each day, and that my contraception had failed. I knew I was being silly but at the same time I was still paranoid. I have friends who used nothing and have relied on the morning after Pill, who used only a condom and it broke, etc, and none of them got pregnant. I had been as responsible as possible and it still felt like it wasn't enough. I know it's silly.

My period was a day late, probably because of my stressing, but it came and was a normal flow, and I've had it every month since. I relaxed for a while but now I'm back to my irrational worrying. My belly looks bloated and feels a bit weird. I have ALWAYS had problems with bloating and stomach cramps since I have irritable bowel syndrome and normally think nothing of it but now I've had sex there is the possibility I could be pregnant. Even though I know I'm not - I've had heavy periods every month and no other symptoms. My mum insists my stomach is flat and it's all in my head (I asked her if I looked bloated from my IBS). I know it isn't flat but the IBS and a bit of flab explain it.

What can I do about this? It's ruining my life. I feel like an idiot - people in college have sex all the time without worrying themselves to death about it, or they have a worry until their period comes and then forget it. I got the period I was waiting for and carried on worrying. The easy thing to do would be to not have sex since I can't seem to handle what goes along with it but that wouldn't give me a normal life either. I want to have a boyfriend, I want to be intimate. I just can't handle the thought of becoming pregnant. I thought about going on the contraceptive injection as it is very reliable but I heard it can have dangerous side effects. And to be honest I would probably still worry. Should I see a counsellor or something?

Victor

If you want to have intimacy, but don't want to get pregnant, then explore other types of sex.

But realise, it is not the end of the world to be pregnant.

Black Swan

You could save yourself for The One, but this is difficult in our day and age. Many guys (and girls) want to experience sex as one form of increased intimacy in their relationships, and do so without one becoming pregnant. Then again, I would assume that you are still young, and if so, there is no rush to become experienced.

Your level of anxiety expressed in your post suggests that you might want to seriously consider chatting with your GP or a counsellor?

Ickle Magoo

I would agree with Blue_Lagoon re councelling, what you describe is not normal worries that cross most peoples minds with regards to an unplanned pregnancy but a much deeper rooted phobia to the point it is, in your own words, "ruining your life"....has you mother drummed into you that getting pregnant would ruin your life or something like that?

You can talk to someone about what is causing your reaction or you could resist having sex until you don't mind if you do get pregnant...best of luck

cork-langer

Quite a normal feeling to be a little anxious...
Boys are just as paranoid about this as girls though. Ive have a couple of scares before and believe me, they are not good. not good at all.
If your using the pill and condoms, then just check the condom after sex. Then you'll know for sure.
At least your being responsible and not careless.
Try to relax and enjoy it!