Reasons for breaking up?

Dylan_James

What the best and worst reasons/excuses for breaking up with someone?

Mine is this girl i had been trying me stuff with all night had hairy nipples. Never have i been turned off so quick. And she was a pure cracker. Until the top came off. I couldnt imagine meself sucking on them so i made a beeline for the door. That could be my worst excuse cos i suppose she could have sorted taht out the next morning.

But my best excuse for breaking up with someone, I was bending this girl over and I got a bang of sh*te. Like she hadnt wiped right. Then i didnt want to look at it in case i was scarred for life. And she was no dog either!

bounty

hairy nipples... giggity giggity

smk135

god i'm eating here!!!

Dave!

jesus h christ. Where do you pick up these hairy-nippled sh*te-covered women?!?!?

scojones

DaveMcG wrote:

jesus h christ. Where do you pick up these hairy-nippled sh*te-covered women?!?!?

On street corners mostly.

Dylan_James

Man i have been up and down this country and Europe.

God help the yanks when i get over there next year.

Caco

What's the world coming to where hookers won't even clean themselves up for their customer's? We need some new hard ass pimps to bitch slap these hos into line!

Dave!

sjones wrote:

On street corners mostly.

Which street corners specifically?

I need to know for, eh, research........

Dylan_James

DaveMcG wrote:

Which street corners specifically?

I need to know for, eh, research........

The street corner your ma hangs around.

Nah i am messing with you man.

DonkeyStyle \o/

Dylan_James wrote:

Until the top came off. I couldnt imagine meself sucking on them so i made a beeline for the door.

LMAO... I can just picture you gasping, eyes wide, then running out the door.

Were they big mad long wirey pubes? or just a bitta dark fluff?
I'm even put off by my own nipple hair... but on the end of a tit... that just ain't right. :eek:

As for the smell of shít - it's an arse... what were you expecting? lavender?
You shouldn't attempt doggystyle unless you want the full canine experience... smell of poo and hair on her back.

smk135

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote:

smell of poo and hair on her back.

eh....
1. the smell of poo does not have to be there if she is clean =/has had a shower recently or if she isn't just in from work/other and hasnt had time to freshen up...

2. hair on the back???wtf on you on about? do you happen to go doggystyle with Men? go on...admit it!!!

iguana

smk135 wrote:

eh....
1. the smell of poo does not have to be there if she is clean =/has had a shower recently or if she isn't just in from work/other and hasnt had time to freshen up...

Or what if, just maybe..... While they were out together she had a poo!!!!:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Damn pubs and clubs not keeping a stock of baby wipes in each cubicle.

dabbler2004

this thread should be stickied in the humour forum, I'm cracking up big time here

I've never had the pleasure of hairy nipples:eek: but I have seen one or two skid marks in my time


....it just proves that women ARE human/real people after all *GASP* !

Dylan_James

Come on, someone take me the shame away from me. Lets hear the skidmarks story.

dabbler2004

Dylan_James wrote:

Come on, someone take me the shame away from me. Lets hear the skidmarks story.

No, no you're doin quite fine OP, I'll leave this thread to you (go on dig yourself in deeper, you know you want to!!)

Rabies

How can you break up with someone when you seem to be describing one night stands?

lau1247

this is hillarious.. aren't you glad you didn't eat off the front and get a surprise there??

wyndham

You should always carry a box of Kandoo or wet wipes OP. Kandoo come in 2 different flavours, i recommend the orange scented ones.

haunted-room

Dylan_James wrote:

What the best and worst reasons/excuses for breaking up with someone?
But my best excuse for breaking up with someone, I was bending this girl over and I got a bang of sh*te. Like she hadnt wiped right. Then i didnt want to look at it in case i was scarred for life. And she was no dog either!

:eek: Thats nasty!!
Its not that hard to wipe your ass properly:D

arseagon

haunted-room wrote:

:eek: Thats nasty!!
Its not that hard to wipe your ass properly:D

Maybe she sharted??

lau1247

Dylan_James wrote:

But my best excuse for breaking up with someone, I was bending this girl over and I got a bang of sh*te. Like she hadnt wiped right. Then i didnt want to look at it in case i was scarred for life. And she was no dog either!

at times like that.. all we can say is: Sh*t happens

Guy_In_Cognito

I stopped seeing a girl once, cos she'd a hairier crack than I do..

Now, I know some women have some hair down there, but this was ridiculous.

No rimming for her!

GIC.

haunted-room

markdunne wrote:

Maybe she sharted??

Black Swan

Guy_In_Cognito wrote:

I stopped seeing a girl once, cos she'd a hairier crack than I do..

Now, I know some women have some hair down there, but this was ridiculous.

No rimming for her!

GIC.

Date a model. They shave.:D

arseagon

haunted-room wrote:

Shart: when someone farts and a little bit of sh**e comes out too.

Rb

markdunne wrote:

Maybe she sharted??

*shudders*

Well thats certainly put me off my bacon,sausage and brown sauce roll...

haunted-room

markdunne wrote:

Shart: when someone farts and a little bit of sh**e comes out too.

:eek: I feel sick!!!!!!!

arseagon

rb_ie wrote:

Well thats certainly put me off my bacon,sausage and brown sauce roll...

haunted-room wrote:

:eek: I feel sick!!!!!!!

Heehee my work here is done!

Sam Vimes

dabbler2004 wrote:

....it just proves that women ARE human/real people after all *GASP* !

no, they're not. they're objects for our amusement and pleasure

arbeitsscheuer

Commander Vimes wrote:

no, they're not. they're objects for our amusement and pleasure

Nice to hear a lone voice of sense and reason return to the thread!

My best reason for breaking up?

"Sorry darlin, I actually prefer your best friend..."

Note: I have actually used that one.:o

Canadiankimi

LMAO!!! Ok...you guys seriously need a chick perspective on this....
Hair on nipples is NOT normal!!!!
As far as an ass that is not wiped properly goes.....someone needs to teach that girl some hygiene tips...! That is just Nasty!