Yer Ma!

Lust4Life

Here it is! The thread we can all have fun with!
You all know those Yer Ma Jokes, or those Yo Mama jokes.

Here's where we can compete to post the funniest most creative Yer Ma statements!


I'll start (and you can top it I'm sure!)


Yer ma is so fat people jog around her for exercise.

airetam_storm

L4L's momo's so fat... she's got little fat momos orbiting her

L4L's momo's so fat... i swerved to avoid her but ran outta gas

Call Me Jimmy

airetam_storm's mama is so fat she once got on the weighing scale and it read:

16 stone

but then she lost weight

now it reads:

10 stone

Lust4Life

Well.... it wasn't really meant to be aimed at anybody's mom in particular, but okay....


airetam_storm, Yer ma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yer Ma is so old she sat behind jesus in the primary third grade!

Donegal Lass

L4L- Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind man cry!

boneless

Yore Ma's so big she bent down and they had a solar eclipse in Derry...

smash

boneless' ma is so ugly, her pillows cry at night....

boneless

Yore ma is so ugly that when she goes to the zoo the hippos get aroused.

Lust4Life

Yet ma is so fat when ya tell her to haul ass she has to make two trips!

scojones

Yer Ma is so ugly she cries herself to sleep every night.

biko

Why does Yer Ma smell so bad?
So that blind people can hate her too!

smash

your mother's so fat...when she falls over she rocks herself to sleep trying to get up.

Call Me Jimmy

steve06's ma is so fat that she can barely fit into her clothes coz she's too big for them.

Merrick

Yo mama so fat she causes flood warnings on the other side of the ocean every time she goes swimming.

Jules

Jimmys mamma's so fat she has to wear two watches, cuz her head is one time zone and her ass is in a whole other!

Your mamma so stupid she got hit by a parked car

your mamma so stupid she bought a glass door with a peep hole

your mamma so fat she has to iron her cloths in the drive way

your mamma so stupid she bought the donut back cuz there was a hole in it!

biko

jules80's Ma is so stupid she put a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call.

smash

biko's ma is so fat when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'... I mean come on, she recently fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land Ahoy!!!"

Jules

U G L Y, you aint got no alibi, you ugly, em em, you ugly

M A M A, how you think you got that way, your mama, em em, your mama!

Lust4Life

Yer ma told yer dad she wanted something special for her birthday that would go from 0 to 200 in 5 seconds!
Yer dad got her a bathroom scale!
Dad's funeral is Tuesday!

Sparky

Your ma is so fat, her stomach is ten minutes in front of her.

Yo momma is so fat, she patented 'Wide Load'.

Your ma is so fat, she is the new weapon of mass destruction to buses.

Your ma is so fat, a jubmo jet cannot compete.

Yo momma is so fat, Aerlingus have to try and even the planes weightload.

Your ma is so fat, she started up her own tyre company. 'MichelinWoman'.

Yo momma is so fat, she faded away to an elephant.

Lust4Life

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat when she sits on your face you can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo momma's so ugly,
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma's so ugly,
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma's so ugly,
they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo momma's so ugly,
they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.

Yo momma's so ugly,
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo momma's so ugly,
her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo momma's so ugly,
the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma's so ugly,
they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo momma's so ugly,
when she went to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo momma's so ugly,
on Halloween the kids trick or treat her by phone!

Yo momma's so ugly,
people go as her to Halloween parties.

Yo momma's so ugly,
that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Jules

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


Yo MAMMA!

frobisher

I don't like this thread. My mama died last night.

Lust4Life

Aw, Frobisher needs a hug!!!!!!!!!!!

Black Swan

What ever happened to Yo Mamma's and the Poppa's?

airetam_storm

They still ahve places over here dont they?

Black Swan

"Monday...Monday...can't trust that day" oldies by goodies songs from the 60's. Raided my Da's collection of the Momma's and the Pappa's.

Spades

your ma worked on the boats!

randylonghorn

Jaysus, that was some bump!

And here was I, glanced into the Nest, saw a thread started by Lusty and thought she had returned to us!!

All sad now!

biko

on the boats ?? What's that all about?

Jesus Wept

YORE MA Ville

Spades

on the boats, as in a hoor!

KnifeWRENCH

This is how they do it in Upper Class England:
"Your maternal parent is rather unattractive,thus that if she were any more unattractive,why she would not be very attractive at all now, would she?"

Agent Smith

your mothers so fat...people on boards.ie make jokes abou her

Matt Holck

randylonghorn wrote:

Jaysus, that was some bump!

And here was I, glanced into the Nest, saw a thread started by Lusty and thought she had returned to us!!

All sad now!

Her husband had insulted me and I never forgave him