Would you/Could you adopt a child in need?

Mrs_Doyle

I was going to put this in the parenting forum, but I don't want to ask the question to parents alone.

I was watching a piece on a Romanian orphanage, on UTV last night.
To say that the conditions the orphans were living in were horrific would be a understatement.
The clip showed children tied to their beds, or sitting bolt upright on benches with their arms tied behind their backs.
They are not prisoners of war, they have committed no crime, they are just children who for one reason or other, have wound up in an orphanage that just doesn't have the time or money to give them the care that they deserve.

As I watched I was overwhelmed to go over there and save as many of them as I possibly could - silly I know, it's not that simple - but it was the first time that I could understand what motivates a person to adopt a child in need, despite the fact that they are capable of conceiving a child themselves.

This is why I have not posted this question to the parenting forum, it is not just directed to hopeful parents, or current parents, or couples with fertility problems - it is directed to the average Joe and Josephine - could you/ would you adopt a child in need, despite the fact that it may be possible for you to conceive a child yourself?

brown*eyed*girl

I'm guilty of having to turn off these programmes as its just too horrific to watch. My answer to the question would be yes I would be able and if I was in the position to be able to do it I'd welcome one of those kids into my home as my own. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to at this time as I'm a single working parent with two kids of my own but you never know about the future. Have to admit things like this makes me believe there is no god .

robinph

I saw that report last night as well and it was quite shocking. There is another part to the report that they are showing tonight though about how easy it is to buy children in Romania as well so I suspect that you'd want to watch that part before heading off to save all the kids from the homes out there.

Mrs_Doyle

robinph wrote:

I saw that report last night as well and it was quite shocking. There is another part to the report that they are showing tonight though about how easy it is to buy children in Romania as well so I suspect that you'd want to watch that part before heading off to save all the kids from the homes out there.

Ah don't get me wrong, I know it is not practical to say 'I want to save as many as I can', thats just the feeling that came over me as I watched the programme.
I am not married, or even engaged, I still live at home with my parents - adopting a child would not really be on the cards for me right now
- BUT -
It did get me thinking, Could I do it? Would I do it? and I think the answer is yes, I could do it.
Hopefully I will be able to have children of my own at some stage, but I wouldn't let that stop me from giving a child in need a life that it may never know if not taken from those conditions.

kizzyr

I think its a really admirable thing for someone to do. A few years back my mum and dad took a little girl from Chernobyl for the summer and when the time came for her to go back it broke all of our hearts. She was a really sweet little girl and her reaction to being in Ireland was unbelievable. My folks have a big back garden and she couldn't get enough of lying on the grass as she loved feeling it against her skin. There was no grass where she lived. At the start of her visist she also used to take fruit, especially organges and hide them in her suitcase to take home to her family as they couldn't get anything like that over there either. The people who organised the trip for these kids said that one summer in a clean environment like Ireland would add up to 7 years to their life expectancy.

Black Swan

I only want one child (for various reasons). If I could not have this child, then adoption would be an option.

SingingCherry

Yes, definitely. I know we will have our own kids (if possible) one day, but I have never discounted the possibility of adopting, even if we can have children. We do want more than one and lots of kids all over the world need homes. It would be something I think is worth considering.

TerrorFirmer

When I'm older, I want children but only through adoption - don't see the justification in bringing another child into the world when all the poor children already out there who so desperately need homes.

Trinity

Absolutely without a doubt.

i made several enquiries about fostering children and was ignored. Possibly because i am single working mum.

but in my job you hear of abused , abandoned, neglected children in care all the time and it annoys me cos (this sounds pathetic LOL) - i have a lot of love to give!!

Mrs_Doyle

Trinity1 wrote:

Absolutely without a doubt.

i made several enquiries about fostering children and was ignored. Possibly because i am single working mum.

but in my job you hear of abused , abandoned, neglected children in care all the time and it annoys me cos (this sounds pathetic LOL) - i have a lot of love to give!!

It doesn't sound naff, thats kinda how I feel too.

HAVOK - You have a very noble outlook on the matter, I see were your coming from, but as ready as I am to adopt a child, I really would love one or two children of my own, God willing.

tHE vAGGABOND

Friends of mine who are married, and cant have kids for various reasons, tell me that its next to impossible to adopt a kid these days..

You have to essentially have to go to africa or eastern europe and buy the kids off their poor parents [Angelina Jolie style] - which a fair few people would have all kinds of moral objections to tbh

Ruu_Old

Although I'm not sure if I even want kids in the future, I would probably help out and adopt a child in need and work it out somehow.

robinph

I would probably be happier to adopt kid than to pass on my own dodgy dna to another generation.

I have an older brother who was adopted though and although I've never been told the full details of where he came from it was a pretty grim life that he probably had instore for him if my parents had not 'rescued' him from the care home that he was dumped in as a todler, but there is no way that my parents would have been allowed to adopt him with the current adoption rules though due to being of a different 'race'.

EWheelChair

My mothers been fostering children her whole life, not all of them long term, some only stayed a few months. I have an adopted sister 19 years and two fostered brothers for the past 12 years. I already had three older brothers and an older sister (not adopted/fostered)

I would deffiently adopt, but i wouldn't adopt a romanian/foreign child. There's plenty of children in Ireland who need parents.

Ickle Magoo

I'm adopted & I'd love to be a foster parent or adopt....I'd look locally first too

Miss Fluff

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

I was watching a piece on a Romanian orphanage, on UTV last night.

I saw it too, absolutely horrific. The poor little mites being tied up and developing horrific mental illness due to the conditions. Brought a tear to my eye, really did.

I think it's easy to feel pity and get back to what you're doing when removed from the situation but I'd say was I to go and actually visit one of these draconian institutions I would be overwhelmed with the urge to take a few of the poor little mites home with me.

Made me cry. Was terrible. The second part of it is on tonight.

connundrum

I've never actually thought about it tbh. I'll be honest to say that I had never considered adoption, I probably just would have thought that the natural path was the way to go.

In considering it more, I guess it makes far more sense to take on and love a child that no one else will. Just think of how much you will change that kids life?! From the depths of dispair, to a life of what we would call 'normal' would be such an improvement for any of these children.

I'd deffo consider it now.

CathyMoran

Myself and my partner would have no problem adopting a child, however we would want to be fully versed in their cultural heritage and would like to bring them back to where they were born if we adopted from abroad...therefore in practical terms we would be talking about adopting from China as my best friend is ethnic Chinese and I feel that he could be a good role model. My partner is adopted so I would be far more wary of Irish adoption and would want to have 2 kids with my partner (trying at the moment).

oRlyYaRly

I have absoutely no intention of ever having kids myself. There are too many people in the world and the last thing that's needed is a woman pushing out another one. Adoption FTW.

ircoha

brown*eyed*girl wrote:

I'm guilty of having to turn off these programmes as its just too horrific to watch. My answer to the question would be yes I would be able and if I was in the position to be able to do it I'd welcome one of those kids into my home as my own. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to at this time as I'm a single working parent with two kids of my own but you never know about the future. Have to admit things like this makes me believe there is no god .

brown*eyed*girl:
There is a god, but he is male.

**elaine**

tHE vAGGABOND wrote:

You have to essentially have to go to africa or eastern europe and buy the kids off their poor parents [Angelina Jolie style]

Not true for everyone... We adopted my lil sis from China nearly two years ago, took almost three years but clearly well worth all the work and waiting