Odd dilemma

LegacyUser

Right bit of a confusing one this one.

So I've known this guy for quite a while now and we've grown to be really good friends. In the last month or so things have kind of changed however, we've met up a couple of times and ended up scoring a few times.

Lately we had kinda discussed dating but I had turned him down as I currently don't live near him and won't for another few weeks. Whilst I turned him down it was purely because I didn't fancy doing the long distance thing when I'd be living near him in the not too distant future so I thought it would be a better plan. Thus we decided to stay friends and take it from there in September.

In the last week both he and I have met other people and whilst I can't see anything really lasting happening with the guy i've met my friend isn't so sure. All of this happening kinda put the whole thing into perspective too and made me realise that maybe I liked him more than I thought.

And so we've hit stalemate, neither of us really know what to do next, the other people we've met are completely different to us so we can't even compare like with like.

Anyone any suggestions what to do?

Trinity

Yes leave him alone to get on with it.

you turned him down, people want what they cant have or what someone else has.

distance shouldnt have mattered to begin with, nothing should.

if its meant to be it will be.

Ruu_Old

Its fine that you didn't want to do the long distance thing but if you really wanted to make a go of things then it wouldn't have mattered, let him go do his own thing as Trinity1 mentioned.

ircoha

Based on my own experience in a virtually identical situation I concur with Trinity and Ruu.

takola

Ever hear the saying, You always want what you can't have? Well that's what this sounds like to me. Distance is not an issue if you really like someone!

Tbh, I don't understand why you would not want to do the whole distance thing when you'd be living near him in a few weeks??? :eek: That doesn't make sense to me!

Leave him be. Let him enjoy his new girl and get on with it!

me and the biz

takola wrote:

Tbh, I don't understand why you would not want to do the whole distance thing when you'd be living near him in a few weeks??? :eek: That doesn't make sense to me!

Leave him be. Let him enjoy his new girl and get on with it!

Me either. I think maybe she wanted to have her cake and eat it too... just didn't expect the guy too either and then get attached to someone else.

Caryatnid

Trinity1 wrote:

Yes leave him alone to get on with it.

you turned him down, people want what they cant have or what someone else has.

distance shouldnt have mattered to begin with, nothing should.

if its meant to be it will be.

Yep defo.
You said what the masses are thinking, Trinity.

Ickle Magoo

unreg101 wrote:

I had turned him down as I currently don't live near him and won't for another few weeks

Really don't see this as a valid reason not to be with someone if you had really wanted that. Maybe you like him more than you thought? Maybe? If you had strong feelings for the guy you would have made the effort to be with him in the first-place and if you genuinely liked him more than you thought at first then you would know it. I think you are being a bit of a dog-in-the-manger and altho you don't particularly want him, you hate seeing him with someone else. I'd say leave him to set up a new relationship with a girl prepared to make the effort. Best of luck

LegacyUser

A few weeks ???

Bet they felt special ...

You may need to stop suiting yourself so perfectly or spinsterhood awaits !!!

MojoMaker

Ah leave 'em alone dude, they're school-going teenagers fer feck sake. Remember when a 'few weeks' felt like years and years? At that age everything is immediate or not at all, the concept of waiting for something is completely alien, and frankly quite awful. OP, maybe you didn't click as much as you thought? There's tons of people we 'get on great with' - but that's never a reason in itself to go out with someone. Looks like he's scored with someone in a position to be more receptive to his affections at the end of the day.

LegacyUser

We're not actually teenagers, we're both in our 20s.

The reason why I wanted the avoid the long distance is because I did it in my last relationship and it ended up ruining the relationship, whilst we stayed together after I'd moved back close to him I ended up getting my heart smashed into pieces and don't want to go through that again just yet. My friend knew all this and understood exactly where I was coming from.

He's unsure about this other girl as to whether or not he likes her. I have tried to bow out and leave him to it but he seems a bit unsure as to this being a good idea.

Ickle Magoo

You sound like you want folks to tell you to get together with this fella....so what's stopping you? What have you got to loose?

He's not sure if he likes his gf, you're not sure if you like him....all sounds a bit adolescent tbh....maybe you should both wait until you meet someone that knocks the socks off you?

Black Swan

Distance is what you make of it.