Gay Charisma - how to be attractive

Freaky Angelo

I can't catch a break. I was a t The Dragon on Saturday at a friend's birthday. There was a colorful bunch of gay guys there, most had someone. No one looked at me twice. But I guess I look a little lame.:rolleyes:

Anyway. This thread is all about what makes gay people attractive and how you make sure they're gay. What is the Gay charisma factor? Why do some people get overlooked and others worshipped? I'm totally lost as to what makes attractive people attractive, what draws people to other people, what's the first thing that everyone sees?

I mean...why do some gay guys get laid at the drop of their pants and others don't get any for years on end!? Please don't bring size etc into it coz its not size that matters its how you use it

azezil

Well, what did you do to get noticed, did you approach anyone?
No matter how good looking your are, if you just sit back, make no effort and wait for someone to just come find you... it ain't gonna happen!

Sapien

azezil wrote:

Well, what did you do to get noticed, did you approach anyone?
No matter how good looking your are, if you just sit back, make no effort and wait for someone to just come find you... it ain't gonna happen!

I dunno. I'm not sure if I believe in any kind of Gay Charisma, but if pressed to it, I would tend to say the nonchalant approach has some merit.

Aard

It depends on what kind of guys you're into.

damien

Pretend to be loaded. In all variations of the meaning.

apprentice

i agree

Beruthiel

damien.m wrote:

Pretend to be loaded. In all variations of the meaning.

Surely that kind of pretence can be discovered very quickly

Hmm_Messiah

Beruthiel wrote:

Surely that kind of pretence can be discovered very quickly

true

but we're not all pretending

Stark

You can brag about your size on an internet forum but the OP was looking for positive examples of how to be attractive.

Freaky Angelo

Yep. See its different for gays and straights to hook someone outside of bars...well it is for me :mad: what makes it so easy for guys to catch others in and out of gay bars while fellas like me, try but...y'know don't even factor on a blip.

What is it that can make some gay guys so attractive or what do they do or say to be able to get guys anywhere EVEN if the guys are straight(er then them)!?

What makes a person attractive to people they aren't "supposed to" be attractive to?

spurious

Confidence is what makes people attractive, gay or straight.
If you think they're out of your league, they are, if you think you look lame, you do.

Watch the movie 'Swingers' with Vince Vaughn - you are as attractive to other people as you want to be.

It's not some great mystery, really.

Stark

There is no silver bullet other than to just be yourself. Clichéd I know, but it means things don't fall apart the second your acting skills fall short. And just because guys don't approach you, it doesn't mean they don't think you're attractive. You might be sending out mixed signals whereas other guys might sending out "Try it with me, I'm easy" signals. Personally I think gay bars suck as regards picking someone up. I like to have half a conversation with someone without disco music blaring in my ears before I swap tongues.

Beruthiel

Freaky Angelo wrote:

What makes a person attractive to people they aren't "supposed to" be attractive to?

Confidence, being yourself and a love of life always shines through, this will attract anyone.

rorobobo

I totally agree with the last few comments - confidence helps a hell of a lot.
When I was younger I had little to know confidence but as I've gotten older I've learned not to care as much about what other people think of me. Just be yourself and don't be stressing. Try to talk to others and let them get to know you

Freaky Angelo

I suck at confidence. In fact I have very little. Boys show an interest but never follow through beyond kissing. Its lame.

azezil

Well maybe you just gotta naughty it up a little... provocative gestures or actions while kissing.

Freaky Angelo

Maybe they're turned off by the fact I bite (I made a guys chest (and a little lower on the hips) look like a leprosy epidemic had hit). I guess I am pretty agressive but at the same time I amn't charismatic or confident. I amn't sure if naughtying it up works that well if they can see me

Vinnie69

Freaky Angelo wrote:

Maybe they're turned off by the fact I bite (I madeyou sound as if you are too franti a guys chest (and a little lower on the hips) look like a leprosy epidemic had hit). I guess I am pretty agressive but at the same time I amn't charismatic or confident. I amn't sure if naughtying it up works that well if they can see me

you sound as if you are too frantic!!
Try taking your teeth out next time, it might help:D

Zillah

Freaky Angelo wrote:

Maybe they're turned off by the fact I bite (I made a guys chest (and a little lower on the hips) look like a leprosy epidemic had hit). I guess I am pretty agressive but at the same time I amn't charismatic or confident. I amn't sure if naughtying it up works that well if they can see me

Agressive, not charismatic and lacking confidence...

How does that sound to you? I think you need to just relax in general. Stop worrying about things, stop trying so hard, let things happen as they will.

Or take some Valium, whatever.

damien

Freaky Angelo wrote:

I suck at confidence. In fact I have very little.

Fix it or die alone and unloved.

speedy21

u wont score in the dragon - too bright - bad layout..

Drink somewhere darker - somewhere that when u spot a cutie, you have a chance of bumping into them again on ur night..

George is easier for all the above than the Dragon!

moridin

damien.m wrote:

Fix it or die alone and unloved.

But at the same time, don't go overboard and become an arrogant prick, or you'll die even more alone and even less loved.

Hmm_Messiah

stalk Moridin and learn from a master.

azezil

You can but be yourself and hope there's someone else out there crazy enough to want to be with you

moridin

Hmm_Messiah wrote:

stalk Moridin and learn from a master.

I'm not sure what to read into that... S&M, arrogance, no confidence... this is all getting horribly confusing.

Time for a cup of tea methinks

Vinnie69

EYES Its all in the eyes. You can tell if someone fancies you if you look at their eyes. Don't stare but smile with your eyes and see the result.

Stark

Vinnie69 wrote:

Don't stare but smile with your eyes and see the result.

I tried it in a mirror and all I see is crows' feet.

Sleepy

OP - advice from a straight guy here but tbh, I think attraction is attraction is attraction.

If you've a problem with confidence, just fake it. It'll come with time. Sure, someone will always be more charismatic than you, someone will always be better looking than you, someone will always be a better dancer/kisser/golfer/driver/cook/programmer/whatever than you but living a happy and successfull life ain't about being the best, it's about believing you're good enough to deserve what you want and going after it. Next time you're out, don't wait to be approached, when you see some guy you think is attractive walk over and say hi. What's the worst that can happen? Let's look at that:

He might not find you attractive. So what, you've just gotten some practice at making an approach and you'll be better at it when you try it next.

He might be straight. So what, in this day and age, most straight guys know to take an approach from another guy as a compliment and if they don't fvck 'em tbh.

Uhm, that's about it. That's the worst that can happen. What's there to be afraid of?

Anicrus

If you're just looking for a lay it doesn't take a whole lot to score in the dragon. From what I can see even most of the guys who look like they're with someone would drop them for a few hours if somone else was half interested just for the fun of it. I know it sounds very black and white but there's a hell of a lot of guys out there just looking for a good time. If you pay some attention to who's putting themselves out there and make an effort to get noticed guranteed you'll pick up. chances are you'll attract attention from more than one guy if you're actively flirting. The difficulty lies in hooking up with someone who isn't completely wasted.

Blush_01

Stark wrote:

I tried it in a mirror and all I see is crows' feet.

I love you!

Stephanos

I am an OK looking guy and when I started going out on the scene I got no attention at all. I was nervous, hung my head low and stood far too close to my mates. I definitely gave off weird vibes. Now I am used to the scene and when I go out I stand tall and just be myself - laugh a lot and have a good time. Although I don't actively go looking for guys I find that I get talking to them easily. It's about being relaxed and being yourself.

In the paraphrased words of Marge Simpson 'if you wanna be sad honey, then you be sad'. I think Marge was trying to tell Lisa to be herself.

ignite

Yep same deal. Went out to the purple-est place in town. Not only was the music terrible that night, but I didn't score. No interest whatsoever. How disheartening!

Of course, the whole, Am I attractive enough? thing came up. Then I realised, I'd been here before. You have some good nights, and some bad nights. Maybe next time...

I have to admit though, despite a generally sufficient supply of confidence cloaks me, when it 'cumes' to guys, yeah, I melt! Shy, and ... shucks! Twinkle! lol.

Can't seem to find many 'relationship' types either. Say, I wonder how many of ye I actually see out in town...any familiar faces...:)