Stinky Colleague

Huggles

Hi all,

Just thought I'd post this and see how other people have dealt with this situation.

Right well, myself and four others in this department work in a medium sized room in a building. We have a window and a door, thats it. Its warm and stuffy at the best of times but one of the guys, a non national, has decided to stop washing (I know cause of dirt on his neck). The smell is just attrocious, I mean deathly. He appears to have stopped washing his clothes too so you can get an idea of how bad it is.

As the senior in this department the staff are all looking to me to tell him to wash but I can't do it, I don't know how he will react (has a short fuse). I told my boss and he laughed saying he was glad he didn't work in this room!!!!

I happened to comment one day on one of the guys aftershaves and your man told us all how he doesn't use those products at all.

Its really really bad, what to do??

Thomas_S_Hunterson

Fortunately I've never been in that situation myself, but surely the best thing to do would be to bring it up on a one to one basis with him, and obviously try to be as professional as possible about the situation.

feylya

Don't bring it up on a one to one basis. He will feel alienated or abused or some other random thing. Bring it up within the group and just mention things about the heat and the small room etc.

eth0_

feylya wrote:

Don't bring it up on a one to one basis. He will feel alienated or abused or some other random thing. Bring it up within the group and just mention things about the heat and the small room etc.

Are you for real? That would be FAR more humiliating, your whole team telling you you stink, rather than one person having a quiet word.

BTW OP...is it really relevent that the guy is non-national? I mean, there are Irish people with BO issues too.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

eth0_ wrote:

BTW OP...is it really relevent that the guy is non-national? I mean, there are Irish people with BO issues too.

There could be relevant cultural differences, i.e. where such practices are seen as more acceptable?

Huggles

eth0_ wrote:

BTW OP...is it really relevent that the guy is non-national? I mean, there are Irish people with BO issues too.

I felt it was worth a mention as if he was Irish I feel I could say it to him in a jokey manner and that would be that. He is not Irish however and there is a language barrier that means that in usual joking, slagging off circumstances he is the first to snap at us all. This is down to him not understanding due to cultural differences, that is the only reason I mentioned he is a non-national.

EDIT: For example, one of the guys was stinking of booze on Monday morning, I told him 'he smelt like a brewery' and offered him some mints then we all laughed about it...and that was that.

feylya

eth0_ wrote:

Are you for real? That would be FAR more humiliating, your whole team telling you you stink, rather than one person having a quiet word.

BTW OP...is it really relevent that the guy is non-national? I mean, there are Irish people with BO issues too.

No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying to say it to the entire team as a team. Along the lines of "Guys, this is a small office. Make sure you wash your clothes ". Something like that.

Gillo

I'd say to put it to the group in general, that everyone and not one individual should watch their hygiene. If that doesn't work then it's time to take it individually.

Good luck with it though, can't be easy.

the_syco

eth0_ wrote:

BTW OP...is it really relevent that the guy is non-national? I mean, there are Irish people with BO issues too.

You could tell an Irishman that he smelled, jokingly, and he may get the message. The non-national could cry racist, and you'd be ****ed.

Bam Bam

Don't mention it as a group.

Take him to one side and tell him his level of hygiene is affecting the work environment in the office.

If he doesn't get the message straight away tell him he stinks.

Its not racisim, its not cultural misunderstandings, it a fact.

If he gets sore about it, **** him.

damnyanks

Ask him if everything is ok at home - you've noticed the smell / dirt etc. etc. Is he sleeping rough


Put a concerned spin on it. That way you are a good guy, just stupididly phrased your concern.

BuffyBot

The mind boggles at some of the "advice" given here.

Tom Dunne

Why not bring him down to the local car wash and hose him down?

BuffyBot wrote:

The mind boggles at some of the "advice" given here.

I couldn't agree more.

Lads, this needs to be handled senstively and professionaly. Ganging up, or joking about it will only lead to misunderstandings and potentially open a can of worms. You need to be crystal clear and unambiguous. The last thing you want is allegations of bullying or racism.

kkposse

yeah lads u never know what the story is, he could be sleeping on a friends sofa and the shower is broke cos the landlord never fixed it, or maybe he's just got poor personal hygiene, was he always like this or just lately?

Star*

Hi,

you need to address the situation maturely and not in a jokey way. You need to speak to him one on one and you said yourself you are the senior one in the office so it does fall on you to say it.

You need to pull him aside in a meeting room and say that you have observed it yourself - just you and no one else. That you are speaking to him as a concerned co worker - and ask him is he aware of the issue himsefl ?

If he says yes, then ask him how is he coping with this situation etc - if he says no - then say to him - maybe since you changed products they are not as realiable and may be you should go back to your original brand - or something like that.

you don't want him to feel as if you think he stinks from not washing himself ( even if that is the case ! ) he is human after all and has feelings which you need to be sensitive about.

I think you should also remember that this condition could be something medical as well - perhaps he is on medication that cause this. You just don't know.

Remember that you need to talk about the issue itself, not him personally and his habits. And you need to make it sound that it is just you that noticed it and no one else - other wise he may resent the rest of the office for talking about it. but if it is just you - he may not feel so bad about it. as you are talking to him as a friend.

Best of luck to you it is not an easy one to deal with. But the above is the best solution - been there and done that with one people on my team and it works best.

Huggles

kkposse wrote:

yeah lads u never know what the story is, he could be sleeping on a friends sofa and the shower is broke cos the landlord never fixed it, or maybe he's just got poor personal hygiene, was he always like this or just lately?

He started working with us about 8 weeks ago, it has gotten steadily worse. he goes to the gym quite a bit so I'd imagine that could be a cause too.

Huggles

Star* wrote:

If he says yes, then ask him how is he coping with this situation etc - if he says no - then say to him - maybe since you changed products they are not as realiable and may be you should go back to your original brand - or something like that.

you don't want him to feel as if you think he stinks from not washing himself ( even if that is the case ! ) he is human after all and has feelings which you need to be sensitive about.

I think you should also remember that this condition could be something medical as well - perhaps he is on medication that cause this. You just don't know.

Remember that you need to talk about the issue itself, not him personally and his habits. And you need to make it sound that it is just you that noticed it and no one else - other wise he may resent the rest of the office for talking about it. but if it is just you - he may not feel so bad about it. as you are talking to him as a friend.

Best of luck to you it is not an easy one to deal with. But the above is the best solution - been there and done that with one people on my team and it works best.

He doesn't use any products at all, has told us as much. I guess I know what to say and do its just getting the words to come out of my mouth! I just know it well get screwed up and mis interpreted though! GRRR! Why me! :mad:

4Xcut

Just bring him aside and politely but firmly explain that while it is warm it is unacceptable to let his personal fall to such a low standard and that out of courtasy to others in the dept. he should attend to the issue as soon as possible.

If he gets mad let him rant and then ask him does he really want to start shouting so that everyone can hear about how he was actually asked to shower by his superoir.

I've seen a team leader in the exact same situation with someone else in the office and a quiet word was had.

DonkeyStyle \o/

Yeah don't bother bringing it up in the group... smelly people usually don't know they smell, and any such jokey/casual discussion will probably fall on deaf ears.
Or if he is aware of it, joking around the office would probably come across as snide and insensitive.
Not a winner either way.

Wait until you're both alone together and just be gently honest... you're doing it as much for his good as your own.
If he gets indignant about it, then that's his problem... though I'd think most people would appreciate how difficult it was for you to broach the subject and appreciate the heads-up.
If this isn't acceptable in his culture, then personally I say - tough luck, adapt to your new surroundings mate.

Worrying about being branded a racist is stupid, unless he's Indian and happens to smell of curry. :rolleyes:

I guess I know what to say and do its just getting the words to come out of my mouth! I just know it well get screwed up and mis interpreted though! GRRR! Why me!

For a nominal fee I will come to your office and tell him.
If you're that worried about it, go to your superior and have it on the record that you have to sort this hygine problem out... maybe have them drop by the office and confirm the problem... at least this way if it's misinterpreted and gets ugly; your ass is a little bit more covered... and you might get some good advice into the bargain.

Star*

I know he doesn't use any products ... but you still got to be subtle about it.