Major Drink Problem

LegacyUser

Basically a sibling has a drink problem that due to some personal problems over the last few months has spiraled out of control. He basically drinks in his room most.
Hes seeing a counsellor for last few weeks but it now looks like going away to a centre of some kind is the only option. The reason being is that its started to affect his job and is a lot for my parents.
So he does want to get off it but finds it very hard, his first AA meeting is tommorrow but he isn't pushed on them, he's afraid he'l meet anybody who might know him.
What i'm wondering is what goes on at these centres ?
Are they any use for recovery?
How long do people go there for? etc
I know these are very stupid/obvious questions but i know nothing about them.
I also know that to kick it he has to want to hinself so please no advice stating that.

Just wondering people experiences of similar experiences.

The Hill Billy

Try Al-Anon Family Groups/Al Anon Information Centre, 5/6 Capel Street, Dublin 1. Tel: (01) 8732699 (Monday to Saturday 10.30 am - 2.30 pm).

Best of luck to your sibling.

Trinity

The AA meetings are not a cure really they are more for support and advice.

theres not really a set amount of time that you go to these meetings and you will be "cured".

a friend of mine hasnt touched a drop in 20 years and he still goes to the meetings.

i believe they are very good as long as your brother realises he has a problem and genuinely wants to quit.

as for seeing someone he knows he has nothing to be ashamed of. The important thing is he is seeking help. and there will be a lot of people there in a similar position which is in itself reassuring that he is not alone.

best of luck to him and your family.

Lindaloo

I'd agree with Hill Billy, ring Al Anon and they'll reassure you and answer any questions you have.

With regards meeting someone, so what, they are there for the same reason and aren't going to judge him. Be proud of him, he's taking a huge step and if anyone judges him, they aren't worth it.

It's a big step and I hope it all goes well for him and for you.

Blub2k4

Al-anon would be the best place to start for getting information as a sibling or dependent of an alcoholic.

I went to NA a few years back and it runs on the same principles as AA.

Look up the 12 steps, that is basically what they are all based upon.

I found it wasn't for me as it struck me too much as replacing the substance with the group, but if if keeps some people alive then far be it from me to knock the system.

ircoha

I know the posting asks about help with the booze issue, but dont lose sight of whatever drove him to the drink.

Let me draw a few examples from our own experience.

We had a similiar problem where depression was driving a family member to drink, it turned out the depression was almost all hereditary and when the depression was managed, not cured as there is none, the relaince on the booze stopped.

In another case bullying at work drove the person to the drink so once he moved jobs it was sorted.

Another case there was a history of alcoholics in the family so the AA is long term support, one day at a time business.

I wish you well

LegacyUser

He shouldn't really be afraid of meeting people who might know him. They'll obviously be there for the same reasons. People at meetings try to support each other.

At the centres, its counselling, group therapy and rehabilation. Its usually a six week stay. They work for most people, a small percentage relapse. All of the people I know that went through centres seem to be doing fine now.

Odysseus

I presume you asking what goes on at treatment centers as opposed to AA, as You metioned both. Most private treatment centers take a person in for six weeks, usually with aftercare for up to two years after, once a week. With in therapeutic communities the day is usually taken up with group therapy once in the am, and again in the pm, with an educational lecture in between. The are other centres who operate differently and a person may be there for up to three months. In the evening the may be meeting NA, AA, GA, ect, or the person may be doing some written work in relation to their therapy. Hope this helps.

LegacyUser

Thankks for that odysses, I know he doesn't need to worry about meeting people he knows but thinks this himself. He's going to first AA meeting this evening if he's sober enough to do it but his underlying problem is anxiety so he'd be anxious about this and therefore it may lead to drink, but you never know.

My main question was about treatment centres and what goes on, i know about 12 steps etc so just wondering about other options as family seriously looking into treatment centre.

Is that kind of thing expensive ? and i don't know how he feels about it but what if somebody doesn't want to go ? can they be forced to ?

Blub2k4

Worried00 wrote:

Thankks for that odysses, I know he doesn't need to worry about meeting people he knows but thinks this himself. He's going to first AA meeting this evening if he's sober enough to do it but his underlying problem is anxiety so he'd be anxious about this and therefore it may lead to drink, but you never know.

My main question was about treatment centres and what goes on, i know about 12 steps etc so just wondering about other options as family seriously looking into treatment centre.

Is that kind of thing expensive ? and i don't know how he feels about it but what if somebody doesn't want to go ? can they be forced to ?

Does he have a health plan? St. Patricks is covered by some health plans, in fact I'd recommend calling St Pats maybe and asking the same questions they do a one month course.

ircoha

Mel Gibson has been sent to the AA, so it is not something to be ashamed of

LegacyUser

What about a situation where somebody won't go to a centre, can you make them ?

Mel Gibson was also in Bird on a Wire, he obviously has no shame

LegacyUser

He's worried to see someone he knows at the meetings...wouldn't that be a good thing...

LegacyUser

His issue is meeting somebody he may know through his job, he has a job where he meets a lot of people and so he doesn't want that.

He went to first AA meeting last night and it went well, hes gonna go back so thats a good thing.

Does anybody know if somebody can be admitted to a treatment centre against their will ? Just wondering in case it should ever come to that, because if the meetings don't help him out then its the next logical step I think.

Odysseus

Worried00 wrote:

Thankks for that odysses, I know he doesn't need to worry about meeting people he knows but thinks this himself. He's going to first AA meeting this evening if he's sober enough to do it but his underlying problem is anxiety so he'd be anxious about this and therefore it may lead to drink, but you never know.

My main question was about treatment centres and what goes on, i know about 12 steps etc so just wondering about other options as family seriously looking into treatment centre.

Is that kind of thing expensive ? and i don't know how he feels about it but what if somebody doesn't want to go ? can they be forced to ?

Hi mate,

Yes private treatment is very expensive, can't remember off the top of my head, but between 6,000 to 8,000. Most treatment centres except VHI, BUPA etc. No he cannot be forced if he does not want to got, however, some places like the Rutland centre will work with the family around interventions that may facilitate this happening.

Another opition may be Stanhope st they operate various treatment options, but I'm unaware of their work. In addition, there is the HSE Alcohol Services these may be an option, what area are you in, if you don't mind me asking.

Arisere spelling is incorrect, have two treatment centre down the country, part of their set up is that no one should be refused treatment on the basis of money, they will provide a way to pay for the treatment over a period of time.

However, the motivation of the client is perciieved as being the conersone of the persons recovery, so most places expect a strogly motivated person. Personally I would also suggets that yourself and your family gewt some support for yourselves. I happen to know a bit around this topic, so if I can answer any moer question, please don't be afarid to ask. Take care mate.

Black Swan

I drink little and rarely, but have heard of a former First Lady of the US who had a drinking problem. Dorothy Ford. There is now a Dorothy Ford centre in Palm Springs, California, to help alcoholics overcome their drinking problem. Apparently this centre has had some success, and perhaps a similar centre is in your sibling's future in Ireland? Your sibling needs to consult with a professional to see if this is an appropriate course of action, not boards.

Odysseus

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

I drink little and rarely, but have heard of a former First Lady of the US who had a drinking problem. Dorothy Ford. There is now a Dorothy Ford centre in Palm Springs, California, to help alcoholics overcome their drinking problem. Apparently this centre has had some success, and perhaps a similar centre is in your sibling's future in Ireland? Your sibling needs to consult with a professional to see if this is an appropriate course of action, not boards.

There is no such treatment centre in Ireland, most are based on 12 philosophies, one is based on motivational interviewing thecniques, the others are based on moral therapy. Most of the posters have been suggesting professional help, however, maybe the op is in a transition between asking for help here, and seeking the correct professsional help.

To the op another suggestion for individual therapists would be the IAAAC, that's the Irish Association for Alcohol and Addiction Counsellors, in the phone book. The main thing is you look after yourself, in general the alcoholic gets trough many traumas, the family find it more difficult. Take care.,

LegacyUser

Thanks everybody who posted. Was home for the weekend there and it wasn't too bad, he took some drink . Sunday was a long day talking about it all and he does want to quit, he says he just finds it very hard to fight the urge when he feels it, esp at weekends when theres nothing to do. I wanted to ask here to find out peoples experiences etc, its not what is completely informing my opinion of whether he should go to tretment centre or not.

My parents do know this stuff but i didn't and the decision of whether he goes or not will lie with them more than me.