martial arts for aggressive kids?

Trinity

Hey

not sure if this should be in parenting (newbie) but it is specific to martial arts.

My son is 6, hes really big for his age, not much into physical activity and i would love him to get into martial arts.

problem is he already has a bit of a temper. Seems strange that i would want to teach him how to hit lol

but thats just it, i dont, its the other lessons i want him to learn like self control, respect for others and only to ever hit people in self defence.

dont get me wrong hes not a bully he just lashes out sometimes in frustration. Hes not a great mixer either.

do you think it is a bad idea to put a boy like this into this kind of environment?

thanks for any advice.

pma-ire

learning something to focus his temper is the best thing he can learn in MA!

there's nothing like hitting pads whan your Peed off or had a bad day!!

the fact that he would have to work with other class members would help him come out of himself a bit more as well!!

Trinity

Thanks thats what i thought!

SOmewhere to focus his aggression other than on me or his toys!

think i may join myself, he didnt lick his temper off a stone :rolleyes:

Clive

Trinity1 wrote:

its the other lessons i want him to learn like self control, respect for others and only to ever hit people in self defence.

In all honesty, I think these are lessons he should be learning from you, and not from some guy at the local church hall twice a week.

While I do think martial arts are great for children, and there are some fantastic kids coaches out there, many people think of them as cure-alls for bad behaviour, largely due to the Nipponocentric view most people have of self-discipline, self-control, repect etc.

If your son lashes out in frustration, there's an underlying problem that martial arts won't solve, which needs to be addressed. If you could teach him to channel his aggression in a positive way, I think martial arts of some description could be very beneficial for him, especially from a mixing point of view.

Just my .02 cents, best of luck with it.

Trinity

Yes i see where you are coming from and there are basically always issues when a child displays bad behaviour.

in our case (without getting too personal!) its his absent father.

he has a lack of confidence and thinks everyone is better than him. Naturally i try to boost his confidence myself and teach him the core values such as respect and honesty.

i work constantly with him, i've done parenting courses, taken him to mater child guidance etc so i am certainly not looking to a local martial arts instructor to take over my role as parent.

He is not physically active and loves computers. However this is something that does not allow him to mix.

i cannot teach him social skills, i can talk about it but he needs to put it into practice by interacting with others. I have no problem interacting so its not learned behaviour.

i chose martial arts as it does teach self discipline (i didnt mean to make him a good boy and listen to his mammy lol) and it is also a physical activity that will keep him fit and focused, i think!

However thank you for your comments, i take all advice on board.

FiannaGym.com

If it was my child I would avoid Martial Arts all together.

By all means get him boxing, wrestling, doing Thai Boxing, Judo or Brazilian JJ.

Sporting enviornments are very healthy.

Peace

RealJohn

Yeah but if she send him to a TMA at least when he lashes out he won't be able to hurt anyone.:D
(I agree though. He'll learn a lot more discipline from a real sport, provided he sticks at it)

Budo.Judo.Kev

Hi Trinity,

I would recommend your son get involved in any sport, but I'd recommend you try and get him involved with a judo club if there is one local that caters for people his age. I've seen a lot of kids, big and small, improve their self confidence greatly by being involved in a good Judo club.

There are more judo clubs then BJJ/wrestling clubs and one of their advantages is the training involves a lot of "sparring". This isn't dangerous or conductive to aggression but actually allows children to play together physically and understand the limits of their strength etc.

hope it works out well, keep us posted.

Colm O REilly has a specail childrens club if you're located near Firhourse and Barry (roper) has a good club for kids in Glasnevin, neither of those are judo clubs but the training is similar.

Trinity

Thanks a lot for the replies guys

i'm right beside glasnevin so will give that a shot. Considered football but hes the type of kid who'd pick the ball up and run away with it or throw a tantrum if no-one passed it to him!

Hes not a bad kid though just needs some male influence i think!

SorGan

Trinity1 wrote:

Thanks a lot for the replies guys

i'm right beside glasnevin so will give that a shot. Considered football but hes the type of kid who'd pick the ball up and run away with it or throw a tantrum if no-one passed it to him!

Hes not a bad kid though just needs some male influence i think!

If it was me i would seriously consider judo as the lads said above, no hitting, safe grappling, the chance to make new friends who share this sport with him, it will round off the rough edges im sure, best of luck.:)

Trinity

Thanks again. embarrassed to say i am not sure what judo involves but i shall do my homework first!!

thanks all

Pro. F

FiannaGym.com wrote:

If it was my child I would avoid Martial Arts all together.
By all means get him boxing, wrestling, doing Thai Boxing, Judo or Brazilian JJ.
Sporting enviornments are very healthy.

Boxing, Wrestling, Muay Thai, Judo & Brazilian Jiu Jiutsu are all martial arts.

I totally agree that sporting environments are probably best.

Trinity1 wrote:

Considered football but hes the type of kid who'd pick the ball up and run away with it or throw a tantrum if no-one passed it to him!

I'd say he could learn a lot from playing a team sport especially rugby. it's the best imo as it's less skill dependent and accommodates all shapes and sizes. i'm not sure how young junior rugby goes. but any team sport would be good.
I'd also agree with the recommendation of Judo as a suitable martial art, it's great fun.
the only problem with martial arts is that they don't build team skills so well. so judo (for its physical and emotional benefits) and a team sport as well might be a good idea.

Colm_OReilly

Trinity1,

Since you're beside Glasnevin I'd recommend you give KO Martial arts a shout, though I hear he likes to be called Clever Little Monkeys Northside (inside joke)

I've coached my fair share of "problem kids" and while I agree with Clive, I've noticed that a lot of the time appropriate praise and encouragement from the coach can mean wonders to a kids sense of self.

Pro. F

rugby. it's the best imo as it's less skill dependent

Less skill dependent than what? and what are you basing this on?

Colm

Trinity

Thanks colm i will indeed give them a shout.

i think if he could find something he was really good at that he felt proud of and was actually achieving something, his confidence would increase ten fold.

He hasnt had it easy, not really a problem kid just maybe a bit molly coddled from an over protective mother!!

thanks again

Pro. F

Colm_OReilly wrote:

Less skill dependent than what? and what are you basing this on?

I should have made that clearer.
Less skill dependent than the other most popular team sports for kids in Ireland - soccer, Gaelic football, hurling and basketball.
I'm basing this on my experience of playing rugby, soccer and basketball at school and from watching on d'telly/talking to people who know about the other two.
I always found rugby to be about throwing yourself into the action (this is particularly the case at junior level), whereas with the others so much of the game revolves around the skills required to control the ball.

Roper

Hi,
The club the lads are talking about above in Glasnevin is mine. Basically, I'd echo some of the sentiments above. While kids gain great confidence and have fun at properly taught and structured classes, behavioural problems would not be within the remit of unqualified people which is what most martial arts coaches and instructors are.

I won't toot my own horn as regards my kids classes or anything but like Colm I've had all sorts of kids, "problem", "difficult", "aggressive" and otherwise and most end up having fun and gaining confidence through the classes. Then again thats only 1 or 2 sessions a week for a total of 1 or 2 hours. They may well be the worst behaved kids outside when I don't see them!

LukeyJudo22

Trinity,

Thers loads of kids doing judo in my club in coolimine (behind the blanchardstown centre). Sometimes we have about 40 on the mat. Ages ranging from 7-14. We split the kids in different age groups and there's four of us who coach. The best class is the beginner's saturday class and unfortunatly its off until september due to lack of numbers summer holidays etc.

If you wanna bring the kid down and let him have a look and see if he'd like it before he tries it out you'd be more than welcome. Dunno if its a hassle to get from glasnevin to here. But anyway there's the info on judo seeing as it's been recommended a few times!

Any more questions just ask!

And good luck

Budo.Judo.Kev

Well bring the young man down to the Barry's club in Glasnevin and see if he likes it. Sure if he does he'll make new friends and benefit from being involved and if he doesn't like it sure there's no harm done. You can find barry's contatct details on his website and i'm sure you could give him a call and clear up any reservations you have.

one of the advantages of a club like barry's is that they're will be boys and girls of different ages participating at the same time, so unlike a rugby club which will be broken up into age and gender.

It's perfectly reasonable for you to be concerned about your son and it's good to see you're taking proactive steps to get him invovled in physical activity.

Trinity

jaysus i've obviously made him out to be Damien the second 666 ha

nah hes not that bad, as i said a bit spoiled, an only child, molly coddled and over protected, used to getting his own way and not having to share.

hes a good kid underneath it all though a big softie, very lonely. unfortunately i am all he has and hanging around me all day for 6 years would do anyones head in

he started summer camp in my gym this week. yesterday was hairy but he had a ball today. its only for this week so looking for something a bit more regular that he can look forward to.

i'll defo call up to glasnevin, you cant miss me, i'll be the one wrapping the kid in cotton wool telling him he cant walk at more than a snails pace cos he'll hurt himself

Trinity

Oh Lukey Judo, thanks! its a bit further than glasnevin, i'm in whitehall but i may pop in some saturday in september if thats ok, sure he can give it a bash!

thanks guys. I just want the wee man to be happy.

ninjawitatitude

Hey trinity,
another great advantage to bjj is you don't need to splash out on an expensive uniform, which can then gather dust, next to the electric guitar and bmx.

Black Swan

While you are shopping for a sport and/or martial art, you may want to also investigate Olympic taekwondo to see if it might meet your child's needs.

Colm_OReilly

Pro. F,

To bring this thread OT, I can't agree with that at all. IN general, team sports have strategy and tactical considerations that are greater than in most individual sports.

If you just talk about controlling the ball then probably rugby has less skill as there is essentially one technique for passing. But having said that the environment changes so rapidly as to make the number of choices very high and the accuracy of the pass more important than in gaelic (which has a very low successful pass rate)

However, rugby's main element is in tackling.

To properly rank skill you'd have to have an agreed definition, and rank the activities along criteria such as difficultly of learning technique, number of options, rate of change of variables, importance of successful execution, etc. But to say rugby is less skillful imo would be wrong.

Colm

Trinity

Hi Barry

i couldnt see on your website what time and days the Tiny TKD classes are on.

Can you give me times and days and tell me if i need an appointment to come to the first class?

or alternatively is it ok to call you on your mobile, hate calling people at inconvenient times!!

thanks

Roper

Sorry Trinity,

The times for the Tots classes are 6pm-6.45pm on Tuesday evenings, no appointment required, just pop in. Its only once a week for the moment but the structure will be changing soon to twice per week (in September or October). Feel free to call if you've any more questions.

Trinity

Cheers. I guess we'll be there on tuesday so!

Pro. F

((chance to go miles off topic? sign me up!))

Colm_OReilly,

With regards to the skill required to use the ball in Rugby vs the other popular ball games:
there is more than just passing involved in all the ball games. you could argue about which sport's skill sets relating to ball control, and use, are more difficult to learn but i don't think that's necessary ..because.. afaik Rugby is the only one in which you can be an important player for your team and rarely touch the ball (this is at junior level only). Maybe the defenders in youngsters' GAA football and hurling don't have to touch the ball. I think they do.

Thinking about it now, maybe instead of saying that Rugby is less skill dependant than the other popular team sports I should have said: Rugby has more varied skill requirements between different positions, so there is more chance of finding something a particular kid can do well. There are at least ten distinct skill sets needed in the positions 1-15. and some of those skill sets only really require bravery and determination.

However, rugby's main element is in tackling.

true true but this skill is not a prerequisite until about the age of 14.

Colm_OReilly wrote:

To properly rank skill you'd have to have an agreed definition, and rank the activities along criteria such as difficultly of learning technique, number of options, rate of change of variables, importance of successful execution, etc. But to say rugby is less skillful imo would be wrong.

Jaysus! it wasn't a university thesis. it's worth putting forward ideas, on occasion, that haven't been tested using scientific method :rolleyes:
if we can't find some agreement with the knowledge that we have then maybe we'll have to leave it until somebody gets out the meter tapes and log tables.

/Andy\

Have to agree with Pro F there on the issue of general skill levels in rugby as opposed to Gaelic Football in particular.

(Big generalisation I know) but much of rugby involves running in straight lines (note I said MUCH, not all) and as for there being more "options" available in rugby, I see two-to pass to your left, or pass to your right. Oooh, or kick for touch, which also is probably the least skilled kicking action in any mainstream sport.

Gaelic Footballers possess better handling, passing (due to the much larger range of options), kicking and lateral thinking (!) skills than rugby players. Put it this way, a skilled Gaelic player, once having learned the weird way rugby players pass (the only real "skill" involved), would instantly excel as an outhalf. In fact Ireland could probably put together a better rugby team than the current international side by having overweight Junior B footballers from the sticks as forwards, and athletic Gaelic footballers as backs! It's really a case of "we can do your sport, but you can't do ours". A rugby player, even a "skilled" one (sic) would be roasted playing Gaelic football if they had little prior experience.


Apologies for the post being off forum topic, but as someone new to the site and MMA who has played intercounty football and hurling, I am mildly insulted whenever anyone suggests rugby is anywhere near the level of Gaelic Football skill wise. Unsurprisingly it rarely happens!

Sorry Colm!

Budo.Judo.Kev

Whatever andy that's a load of bolloxs to be honest.

/Andy\

Wrote a long winded rejoinder Kev, but boards messed up:mad: Anyway, I couldn't be bothered trying to jusitify my views on this, it was just my honest opinion be it right or wrong. I do feel that there's no need to describe someone elses opinion as a load of "bollox", even if it is vastly differing to yours or the popular opinion. You might be biased by conditioning from your particular University which has historically been anti-anything Gaelic, seen today in the piss poor Gaeilge department and pathetic football and hurling teams:D

I have no problems admitting I'm biased so anything I have to say on the subject must be taken with a pinch of salt, and not be looked at as a rational, "thought-out" belief

If any "Trinners loike" rugby heads want to try and train with our Sigerson team during the year I'll try and sort something out, but they might end up looking a bit foolish! Just like when TCD takes to the field in any G.A.A match