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Empty words

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  • 07-08-2006 9:13pm
    #1
    lilmissprincess
    Registered Users Posts: 3,016 ✭✭✭


    The match is lost
    But I dont care less
    Our match was lost
    As the sky caved in.
    They scream and cheer
    Like the empty heart
    Which you have broken
    Will never do.
    Empty words
    Empty minds
    You had to say it
    Had to.
    The gods have spoken
    Romeo forgets Juliet
    The sea washes over our names
    Etched in sand.
    The day on the beach
    I love you
    You shout.
    As you walk away
    From my life.
    I love you you said.
    On the sweet golden sands.


Comments

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    #2
    Guest
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭Guest


    Are we meant to condone that kind of writing? what the hell?


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    #3
    Odaise Gaelach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭Odaise Gaelach


    The poem feels convoluted to me. I think that you should try and focus on just one or two subjects, instead of the many that you try to focus on.

    But don't give up! You'll get better! :)


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