poem

LUNA...

I feel abit odd putting this up here. Have read some stuff here and it's really great. Anyway here goes,


Dark and black, dead and blue
Shaking hands what can I do?
Teasing, screaming pain and joy
A body as your pleasing toy

Straight and sharp, stoned and weak
Your understanding’s all I seek
Begging pleading wanting more
Is this all that my life was for?

MagnumForce

nice, i like it. the rhythm, rhyme and wording are really well selected.

LUNA..

Hey, thanks for the comment.
My account went awol, have had to set up a new one.
Luna..

Odaise Gaelach

It's a good poem. Unfortunately, I don't really understand what it's about. Unrequited love is the best guess that I can make.

But good work anyway.

LUNA..

Odaise Gaelach wrote:

It's a good poem. Unfortunately, I don't really understand what it's about. Unrequited love is the best guess that I can make.

But good work anyway.

Thanks for your reply, it's good to see what other people make of a poem without being told what it's about.
It's actually about addiction and how your mind can have a love affair with the substance. So your correct, it is about unrequited love but not with a person.

Thanks.

Odaise Gaelach

LUNA.. wrote:

It's actually about addiction and how your mind can have a love affair with the substance. So your correct, it is about unrequited love but not with a person.

Ah. Stoned and weak. Now I see.

Matt Holck

No

getting stoned does not make me week

LUNA..

Matt Holck wrote:

No

getting stoned does not make me week

Is that, "getting stoned does not make me week" as in, it's not the highlight of you week.:mad:

Or did you mean that personally getting stoned does not make you weak??:rolleyes:

Sarky

Both of you, make sense, please.

takola

I really like this poem. It struck a cord with me. I rarely find poetry I can relate to. Though I must admit I wouldn't have thought it was about an addiction! Though that is probably my relating my own stuff to it! :rolleyes:

Great work Luna!

LUNA...

takola wrote:

I really like this poem. It struck a cord with me. I rarely find poetry I can relate to. Though I must admit I wouldn't have thought it was about an addiction! Though that is probably my relating my own stuff to it! :rolleyes:

Great work Luna!

I'm glad you like it. TBH I felt a bit of a twat putting a poem up here. I suppose everyone feels strange the first time they post up something that's personal.

Thanks everyone that's taken the time to comment on it.