Don't like my bottom

RainbowBrite

This is mostly a question for the boys.

My bum is the part I hate most about myself. It's not on the grotesque scale or anything, & prob isn't even much bigger than average, but I feel it is, & therefore I don't like it.

My BF is an ASS man:- oops!!!:(

I've no problems in letting him caress it, or even if he gets the odd sneak peek is ok, but I'm not comfortable in say getting out of bed naked in daylight & walking away from the bed with my back to him (i.e. my bum in full view)

My BF absolutely loves & adores me, as I do him, I've absolutely no doubts about that, so my question is this:-

Say you see a girls bum who you don't really know & it's not that great, now say that girl is someone you're head over heals in love with:- to you, does it matter that her bum is not that great.
i.e. Do you even notice it's not that great, or because it's her bum, is it the most sexy thing you ever saw?????

I think he'd say the latter part, but I wonder how much truth there'd be in that.

Please don't be afraid to answer truthfully for fear of hurting my feelings:- you won't. My issues with my bum aren't serious, it just takes me a while to get comfortable with letting someone else see it, & I am getting there.
Just interested in your opinions.

smash

If he likes it I don't see what the problem is, you're probably just being paraniod.

RainbowBrite

There isn't exactly a problem:- well, I don't know if he likes it, he's never actually commented either way.

He likes me, he loves me, he has sex with me. Don't think that necessarily means he likes my @rse tho, which is why I posed the question to see how others would think being in that situation.

cance

i can assure you this:

if he says hes an ass man, and is currently with you, then he likes your bum. Dont be ashamed of it! bums all come in different sizes and shapes just because you may not have what fashion would class as "the norm" doesnt mean you arent beautiful in your own little way.

men love confidence, so i say next time you get out of that bed, leave the sheet behind and strut

Static M.e.

because it's her bum, is it the most sexy thing you ever saw

If Im in love with someone I can honestly say that the above sums it up entirely.

You've nothing to worry about

Marksie

If its part of my lover, i love it . every line and curve regardless.

if your bfriend likes bums, he likes yours learn to love it and show it off for him

Day-wanna-wonga

Do you have a (clothed) photo, so I can make a call?

jcoote

well see everyone has something about themselves they dont like (if u don't then thats a problem in itself) and to become comfortable it your bum u will have to either change it (even a little) or accept the fact that your fella likes it.

i absolutly love big bums and i'm sure that it is puurely your self consiousness that is causing u to feel funny and not the fact that u have a big ugly bum

RainbowBrite

Day-wanna-wonga wrote:

Do you have a (clothed) photo, so I can make a call?

Eh, NO!!!!

Though this thread was raised due to my feeling about my bum, the questioned posed is a general one.

Simply put:- if the one you loved had a bum less than perfect, would it be the sexiest thing you ever saw in your eyes?

So, I don't think photos of my bum are necessary.

jcoote

RainbowBrite wrote:

Simply put:- if the one you loved had a bum less than perfect, would it be the sexiest thing you ever saw in your eyes?

see if your fella is a true arse man then yeah he would think it was sexy and the whole point of loving someone is to love their flaws too.

Gordon

Rainbowbrite - if you aren't happy about your bottom then why not do some exercises on that area?

If your boyfriend is an ass man then it's a shame to hide it away from him.

smash

RainbowBrite wrote:

if the one you loved had a bum less than perfect, would it be the sexiest thing you ever saw in your eyes?

He is an ass man and he is with you, you say he likes to grab it and get a sneak peak so I'd say he likes it. You've nothing to worry about.

RainbowBrite

Gordon wrote:

Rainbowbrite - if you aren't happy about your bottom then why not do some exercises on that area?

If your boyfriend is an ass man then it's a shame to hide it away from him.

I do:- I run, I play sports regularly.
I used to do the gym religiously which included lots of lunges & squats & though it may have firmed up slightly, the overall shape did not & will not change:- & it is this that I do not like about it.

As for hiding it away from my bf:- I know this is not fair, so I have been building up my courage. I know confidence is a lot more sexy than this cr@p.

we're going on hols shortly so there'll be lots of bikini wearing then, so he'll get an eyefull, whether it scares the bejaysus of him or not.

(If he doesn't run a mile after that, it should make it easier for me to let him see it without the bottoms on)


but still, getting back to the question:- it was more a general question than concentrating on me.
What YOUR feelings would be in that situation.

Thanks for all your replies

Gordon

Well to be honest I have not gone out with women because I didn't like the look of their bottom. And I'm not an ass man. I'm sure there will be many people annoyed at me for that comment.

However, I've also had some very strong feelings for a woman with a bottom that I wasn't quite fond of and it didn't change my feelings for her in the slightest.

Marksie

I have been in realtionships with women who didn't like their bottom.

Simply put: more to kiss, nibble, stroke and play with. Simple as that

LegacyUser

RainbowBrite wrote:

This is mostly a question for the boys.
....
Say you see a girls bum who you don't really know & it's not that great, now say that girl is someone you're head over heals in love with:- to you, does it matter that her bum is not that great.
i.e. Do you even notice it's not that great, or because it's her bum, is it the most sexy thing you ever saw?????

I think he'd say the latter part, but I wonder how much truth there'd be in that.

I would completely believe he means what he says. My wife has a large bum and it completely turns me on. I find it both cute and sexy. I hope I don't offend women who are very slim and whose hips don't protrude but I find that look much less appealing. I think (being honest) that there is a primal attractiveness about voluptuous curves and wide hips. I'd guess that it probably is a subconscious thing where the male is conditioned to sense that the woman has child bearing hips and I'm sure there is something Freudian and even oedipus complex about it. I'd go further to say that I'd say the 20th/21rst century fashion has distorted *some* younger mens ideals of a woman. I've heard various theories.. some based on the fact that fashion industry wants to economise on fabric and suits them to promote a more skeletal figure. Also .. and no offence meant.. a disproportionate percentage of the males in the fashion industry are homosexual, bisexual/asexual and the androgenous/skinny look to be honest is quite boyish .. so draw your own conclusions.

Point I'm trying to make is that I know that there is an awful stress on women to conform to some modern day ideal. I personally believe that ideal is unnatural for the most part.

I suppose from a health point of view I do think women who have a very heavy top frame (a big abundence of weight on shoulders, tummy, even breasts) should probably consider taking action to excercise or diet sensibly because that is the female pattern which lends itself towards heart disease, etc. However, big bums .. sorry .. but they are gorgeous.

Beetlebum

I think when you fall in love with somebody, you love everything about them. My ex bf had a hairy tummy which would usually be a turn off for me but because I was so into him, I found it sexy. Think about it, I'm sure there are physical things about your bf that are less than perfect but I bet to you he's sexy from head to toe (even if that toe is all yellow and gangly!!).

I'd say your bf finds your ass very sexy. French knickers are great for making your ass look lovely and pert. Candlelight hides a multitude of flaws aswell but the way it is, I bet you could stand butt naked in broad daylight in front of your bf and he'd still find you irresistible.....shake that moneymaker!!

aidan24326

You girls do seem pretty obsessed with your bums. Moreso than is necessary really. If he's as into you as you say then you've nothing at all to worry about.

LegacyUser

i like girls ass' its what attracts me to them. Theres nothing i hate more than when someone i am close with covers up when they walk away from bed, or covers up fullstop when in a commited relationship.

Its annoying and you should stop it. It gets to the point, that if a girl covers up, it feels like shes just waiting for me to say 'lose the rag you look great'. I hate it when people fish for complements. The more you do it, the more he will have to say it, the more it will get annoying, the more he will want to stop saying it.

And for all those 'if he really loves you..' people who think that he should say it anyways, your 1/2 right, but he should feel forced into saying it. Thats a major turn off.

CathyMoran

OK, from the female perspective. My long term partner has a really cute pert small bottom but I used to prefer bigger bottoms on men. A few years down the line and I have to stop myself from wolf whistling at him when I see him from behind, I have grown to love that part of him and have to stop myself from groping him there.

sticker

I for one would condsider myself an 'ass man' also!

And for me a 'larger bottom' is all good!

Chucky the tree

RainbowBrite wrote:

Say you see a girls bum who you don't really know & it's not that great, now say that girl is someone you're head over heals in love with:- to you, does it matter that her bum is not that great.
i.e. Do you even notice it's not that great, or because it's her bum, is it the most sexy thing you ever saw?????

It doesnt materr that her ass isnt great, as in i wont break up with her because of it.

However i am pretty sure i would prefer her to have a better arse. Basically i dont think that if you love someone, it means you will love every single thing about them. Chances are there will be a few things you could change if given the choice.

Does it really matter if your boyfriend doesnt think you have a perfect ass anyway?

Shaque attack

Does it really matter if your boyfriend doesnt think you have a perfect ass anyway?

have you never been asked the "does this make me look fat?" question.

and bigger is better, ass-wise anyway

Giblet

If you're in reasonable shape and have a "big ass" then I'm sure no man thinks it looks bad. Better than seeing the pelvis bones poking out ... uggh.

Chucky the tree

Shaque attack wrote:

have you never been asked the "does this make me look fat?" question.

Honesty is always the best policy.

RainbowBrite

See, I guess this doesn't help me questioning whether or not he actually likes my bum.

He fell in love with me, with my personality, one of his best friends of many many years. (My bum is part of that package, so if he wants me he's no choice but to make do with my bum)

It's not like he saw this stranger (me) in a nightclub one night & said "phwoar, I want a piece of that"

Ah, I guess it doesn't matter. He's with me, he loves me, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, I just have to get over myself & get comfortable with showing him my big wobbly white be-hind!!!!

Thanks everyone

McGinty

I personally do not have a huge bum, but am somewhat large overall, but if I were a man I'd love huge hips and bum, for me it looks very sexy, and I would not complain if everyone thought my bum was big, as with my hips but they are, however no one notices them, only shoulders, and waist, and I am broad there at the moment, broad, strong and slimish (14 size)