Money isnt everything

LegacyUser

Hi,

See the above statement?MONEY ISNT EVERYTHING.. how many times have you heard it,or maybe how many times have you actually said it??I know Ive done it a lot myself

Thing is its only NOW in the past couple of weeks Ive found this out to its full extent...Ill try to explain with a then and now statement

Then...
"I used to work in a "boring" office job in town a few years ago,the money was pretty crap and it felt a bit dead end even though there were slight opportunites to gain a pat on the back/or what they called promotion! "
Now..
"I work in an interesting trade,the hours are excellent(very little sometimes) and the money is extremely good ,I wont quote how much but trust me its big money"

BUT im not happy anymore, I was for a while but not now...I actually wish i was back then cause I had so many friends and such a great social life..A lot of my friends have moved abroad or settled down so life itself is just **** to be honest...now I think want to go back to THEN but Im gonna lose out bigtime with my investment in a company I now run and Ill no longer earn the big bucks Im used to...I know it doesnt matter what others say but i still listen to them and they tell me Im going mad with wanting to do this

what do you guys think about this situation and what im feeling??

Static M.e.

The problem seems to be you have no / little friends anymore and are simply feeling lonely which of course is something your money cant fix.

And you cant go back to "then" because even if you tried too you have changed and so has everything else.

I think you just need something to make you happy again, In your new current job do you work on your own? do you meet many people?

Perhaps you just need to meet some new friends that you can go out and relax with at the weekends, chat, blow of steam, have a laugh etc.

Gordon

People say that money doesn't buy you happiness - but they neglect to mention that being poor isn't a way of gaining happiness either. It's all down to the details.

The problem seems to be that your friends have moved away.

You say that if you 'go back to then' then you may be happy. How do you do that? You quit your job, then what? Take a more sociable job? If so - get a small part time job in a bar one or two days a week. You say you have spare time.

The question you should be answering is - how do I make friends. And to that I say - find a new hobby like dance classes, go to a gym, take up a sport, go speed dating.

If you are megarich then you can hire someone to do your work and then work in a job that lets you socially interact with people. Who cares if your wage is under the minimum wage?!

greys

I think what you're going through has nothing to do with the big money you earn. And yes, some things can't be fixed with money.

But I also think that getting a lower paid job isn't gonna help.

About the past and your friends... It is said to see them all go abroad, but you should move on and have the courage to find new friends.

It was harder for me, cause 5 years ago I left my country and all my mates back there, so I can't blame anybody for leaving me alone - I was the one to leave them. And although I still have the feeling that if I just go back it will be just like it used to me, I know it won't. Everyone has moved on, and the past is just the past.

LegacyUser

Youve all made good points so far and youre right on the money-you seem to understand totally whats happening with me and I wasnt expecting that so thanks

---one point ill make is that Im not mega rich,It took copius amounts of hard graft to get where I am now-but its only recently that Ive started making the big money...but I think thats what started me off-NOW that im making all this money I worked so hard to get Ive began asking myself - " right well what are you gonna do with this money youre making anyway? and will that make you happy?" I know the answer to the latter question is no-which is why I know I think a change.

I do know its down to making new friends/meeting new people , I havent been blinded by this fact in any way...my job is a pretty much lonely one to be honest for whomever asked and I dont meet any new people at all doing it...changing jobs and in such a fashion might seem drastic but I know that this is the one thing that will change my life altogether and im hoping breath more life into me..I really do crave interaction with people I suppose(not for attention)

By the way I do go to the gym,I play football in a respected irish league and speed dating is actually something i considered doing at one stage but i feel im a little young for it (24) I might be wrong

quarter life crisis it seems!

thanks again for the responses

Black Swan

This is not a money thing... Things in the past often look better than the present, cause you forgot the bad things and only remember the good. You said that your earlier job was "boring." I would assume that you have an active mind, are a dynamic person, and that speaks through your current success at work. Going back to the "boring" job would not make you happy.

For some reason back then you had more fun with your friends. That's what you need to recapture. Set some time aside from the demands of your current endeavor and do this. Life is to short not to enjoy it.

Lust4Life

Buy a house! Save for your future! Stop looking at right now!
If right now is so bad, then change it in other ways. Get a life outside of work. Hobbies, sports, new friends.
Life is what you make it. You have a great opportunity here. Don't waste it.

Black Swan

Agree with Lust4Life, even if she is from north of Chicken-and-a-Cow-won't-Go.:D

jrey1981

Give me some money and I will be your friend

On a more serious note, and so the mod doesnt get on to me, you have obviously broadened your horizons having moved from a basic job to a better one, so why not try the same thing with your social life?

Some kind of voluntary work can be a good way of meeting people. My guess is that you are looking to recreate the camaraderie that was in your old job and the life and friends that surrounded it - you might find this in some voluntary work if you have skills to offer and can find somewhere with interesting people and interesting stuff happening.

Good luck.

Static M.e.

Where are all your old friends?

Your only 24 (Not meant as a put down) no wonder your feeling blue if you arent out their enjoying yourself!

Why dont you try and get incontact with some old friends and meet up with them again? Go visit people at the weekend that kind of thing, or take a long holiday travel the world a little! You make loads of friends that way.

Why not stop by the old office you use to work in and see if anyone still works thier? meet some people for lunch that kind of thing.

Friends take time to make, but you can certainly help yourself by going out and trying to make a much greater effort and if you do meet some old friends make sure you keep in contact with them, give them a call a day or two later that kind of thing, show an interest.

On a side note. If you do meet new people dont tell them you make loads of money with easy hours, people might think you are rubbing it in their face or they might feel inferior to you either way it wont help you make new friends. Im not asking you dismiss all the hard work you put in, just dont tell people straight away

MojoMaker

OP, €40k is not 'big money', even at 24

From your post we're seeing a need to tell / demonstrate to people just how successful you are. You don't have an outlet for this right now and it's incredibly frustrating. Wrapping it all up in a 'money isn't everything' shell ain't kidding anyone here. Also, what kind of background has 24yr olds 'settling down' eh?

Have about 5 or 6 different outlets for creative, commerical, sporting pursuits and learn to derive satisfaction from your personal achievements and not rely on seeing them mirrored in other people's eyes. If you can do this you have a chance of breaking the cycle and your kids might just escape the 'bet down' mindset that pervades the entire working class.

Push the boat out, move away from the Penny's/Next wardrobe, hell, even take elocution lessons if it helps to switch social scenes. Begin to mix with other high achievers who take this sort of company for granted and before you know it the various strands of your life will begin to tie up nicely.

Check back in here soon and let us know how you're getting on.

LegacyUser

Sorry If it seems Im using this as an outlet to tell everyone how much money I make, Im not. It's just a big factor as this is what Ive been working towards these past few years - my point was that now that Ive gotten here, the money doesnt matter to me in the slightest.

You're right Static , at 24 I should have a better social life and more friends-3 good friends have moved abroad together working, my 2 best mates live in england now aswell and the other two lads I grew up with are more a less married,I always hear from the lads that are away/"married" but I obviously never see them anymore...this is just the way the cookie crumbled....I do still keep in touch with my old workmates too but I only see them so often

Lust for life nice point - life is what you make it indeed, but Ive always been aware of that hence my wanting to change right now

Thanks everyone