Bf called me ex's name

LegacyUser

Basically we were messing around the other day, and he was telling me he loved me (i know-ouch) and he called me his ex's name!

They have been broken up about 9 months - not alot of contact as far as i know. I was a little flabbergasted, as you can imagine, and asked him what the feck was going on. He said that she had rung him during the weekend (I was away-i dunno) to see how he was - that he had spoken to her for a few minutes.

Anyways, he was absolutley mortified to what he said and got quite upset at this slip-up. I didnt know how to react. I asked him if he still had feelings for her, to which he replied no. I dont know what to think. According to him it was just because he had been talking to her the previous day.

Has this happened to anyone before - can this be an honest opinion. I have just started to trust him (going out 6 mts) and something like this happens. Any advice please? I am feeling over sensitive now after this, and my brain keeps racing that maybe he does have feelings for her, maybe he has met her.

LegacyUser

iv mad the same slip up!
Dosnt mean anything love the guy im with jus mind ran away with itself...
it COULD mean siomething...more than likely not tbh...

Giblet

IT happens Don't worry too much about it unless he is.

LegacyUser

Happened once to me, we were both very drunk at the time so I majorly over reacted and make a HUGE deal out of it!! When I sobered up the next day I realised how easy it can happen....
If he had been talking to her or whatever it can easily slip out...I've also done it and I know it didn't mean a thing!!

Dont worry about it if you can....I get pretty jealous about other things but this one I just had to let go of!!!

Beruthiel

I've done it a few times.
It means absolutely nothing.
When you've been with one person for a long time you don't even think when you're saying a name, it just pops out.
My partner is smart enough to understand that thankfully.
Forget about it.

free2fly

"I have just started to trust him (going out 6 mts) and something like this happens."

May I ask why it has taken you so long to trust him? Has he done anything to make you not trust him?

super_furry

I've done it too, it meant nothing and slipped out. It might seem difficult but try not to freak out over it, I'm sure your boyfriend feels terrible about it and doubt it means he still has feelings for his ex.

LegacyUser

Happened to me too!

I was with my ex for 7 years and we had broken up for over a year. Met my new girlfriend and was seeing her for about 1 month before I made the same mistake.

I was gutted even though my girlfriend said it didn't matter. I don't have any feelings for my ex. It was just a little slip but even though that happened 2 months ago I still feel bad about it and find myself being very careful what I say when I've had a few drinks...

Karoma

It's probably just habit. At least it wasn't during sex.

Black Swan

Slip of the tongue.

Vegeta

Karoma wrote:

It's probably just habit. At least it wasn't during sex.

exactly

chillywilly

ive done it on more than one occasion too!! my girlfriend was shocked when i said it first but realised it was nothing.....dont be too harsh on the guy cos its very embarressing!!!(well it was for me anyway!!:))

helios

I have the advantage that my ex and my current have the same first name

Beruthiel

free2fly wrote:

May I ask why it has taken you so long to trust him? Has he done anything to make you not trust him?

6 months isn't long.
I would be the same, you can only learn to really trust someone after you know them a good while.

BoozyBabe

Ah, I'd let this one go as a simple slip up.
See how things go.

Best of luck

The Sweeper

Heheheh worst bit is that it can slip into conversation into the phrases where you're most used to saying their name - "I love you [insert name]", or "come on now [insert name]" or other instances where you'd actually say a persons name and which, of course, are most likely to get you into trouble.

Miss Fluff

It was a slip of the tongue girl. Unless he's slipping her the tongue on the sly I wouldn't worry. Very easy to become fixated on this type of thing, just let it slide if you can.

free2fly

Beruthiel wrote:

6 months isn't long.
I would be the same, you can only learn to really trust someone after you know them a good while.

I respectfully disagree. I tend to give people the benfit of the doubt and trust them until they give me reason not to.

ozt9vdujny3srf

This is completely OT but however:

REAL trust is earned.

Extreme case being - do you trust complete strangers with any valuable belongings of yours (like your phone). They havent given you any reason not to.

Do you confide all of your deepest secrets to someone you're only just met on the bus, or even someone who you've known for 3-4 months.

free2fly

Zachariah Nervous Carpenter wrote:

This is completely OT but however:

REAL trust is earned.

Extreme case being - do you trust complete strangers with any valuable belongings of yours (like your phone). They havent given you any reason not to.

Do you confide all of your deepest secrets to someone you're only just met on the bus, or even someone who you've known for 3-4 months.

I wasn't referring to strangers. I was talking about a person with which I am having a relationship. I agree that in certain circumstances trust must be earned. But, trust in a relationship is imperative. I am curious. Do you enter into your relationships by not trusting the person? And if so, why? I am not trying to be facetious. I am truly curious as I honestly don't understand the logic behind your statement. If he/she has not given you a reason not to trust him/her, why on earth would feel that you can't?

projectmayhem

total slip of the tongue, wouldn't worry about it. the human brain works on instinct and repetitiveness, so for a long time he would have said "that" name... his brain failed to function for a while...

sure just look at ross from friends... wait, no don't nevermind

Tar.Aldarion

It's an annoying mistake, I've bitten my tongue a few times in the past I must say...
It happens, it may be nothing and I think it is nothing.

Ruu_Old

I called my one of my girlfriends by an ex's name once and she flipped, broke up with me the next day and had a long list of reasons why but I was such a nice lad. Theres something for you to chuckle at. *wipes tear*

I don't think it matters OP and reckon it was a slip of the tongue, give the lad a hug and let him know its ok. Good luck.

theTinker

Ive made simliar mistake, called my friend(who hated my ex btw) my ex's name a few times because it was just on my mindbecause we talked, i would not worry at all about it, especially after he was so upset about it.

even if she was on his mind another time and they hadnt spoken, he might be just thinking baout sum bage he's had so she could be on his mind, either way i wouldnt worry,

melekalikimaka

Karoma wrote:

It's probably just habit. At least it wasn't during sex.

thats happened to me, boy did she go mad, happens alot to me actually, ah well, sadly i've never meta girl whos taken it well

Nightwish

Both myself and my bf have both let our respective ex's names slip and it didnt bother either of us. We just laughed it off. The only way it would bother me is if he moaned her name in the throes of passion, now thats a no no.

Marksie

happened to me, she said her ex's name. Just was accidental. Dont worry about it

Laslo

I screamed another girls name when I was in the thralls of orgasm once. It wasn't even my ex'es name... it was my girlfriends friend's name. I managed to cover it up by blurting out something similar to 'Julie' immediately after... it was kind of something like 'Oh jeeeee... er, that was, eh great'. I got away with it. Ended up getting dumped eventually for other reasons. On the strength of that anecdote alone, I probably deserved it though.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies. Was talking to a friend about it too and she had the same conclusion as most of you guys. Have to give him the benefit of the doubt that when he says he didnt mean it, he didnt mean it.

I didnt overreact - scream, cry, walk out etc....... was just shocked!

About the trust thing, he hasnt done anything to put me off, maybe a few doubts, on both our parts (we had a hard first few months together). I do trust him, but took a bit of time to get there.

Tar.Aldarion

melekalikimaka wrote:

thats happened to me, boy did she go mad, happens alot to me actually, ah well, sadly i've never meta girl whos taken it well

Sometimes it is hard to keep your mouth shut, it's not our fault. SOme people do very similar things and if you were used to saying something it just pops out. Cut my lip biting once...
Anyway, i'm all healed now, as regards my words in situations.

dame

Don't worry about it. Boyfriend once called me by his ex's name too. It happens to people all the time (as you can see from the replies here)!

How often do little kids go into school and call the teacher "Mammy" by accident? Regularly happens!

iMrk

I used to live in england. My house had a phone number, For about 18 months, after moving back to Ireland, when some one asked my number I'd start of giving my english one. its a repetitive thing, even in a moment of love. It lessens with time. Don't put much heed on it.

It really does not reflect on his thoughts of you.

angeldelight

Honestly it's so easy to do. I called someone I was going out with at the time by my ex's name when we were out shopping one day, it was just his turn of phrase reminded me of my ex and the wrong name popped out. I had no feelings at all for my ex at that stage. My bf at the time was fairly pissed but we made up and didn't break up for more than a year after that ( )so I think he forgave me!

ravenhead

this happened to me too but a bit worse, I was with my current Bf about a year when one day I had been on the train back from Cork City & happened to bump into my Ex & got talking. Anyway, got home picked up the phone & rang my bf´s home number, his mother answered the phone & I said ´ Hi is(ex´s name) there??????????´ Still haven´t lived that one down!!