Why??

LegacyUser

Why do I feel down so often???

I mean, yesterday evening I was in my bedroom alone & I just felt so down.
Not to the extent that I wanted to cry or anything, but just felt lifeless, fed up, just a real 'meh' feeling of can't be bothered with anything type thing.

Why is that? & I often feel like that.

I sat & thought about it last night, & I can't see why.

I have the most wonderful partner in the world, which I'm SO grateful to have, & thank God every day for allowing it. (Long story, not important) He adores me, & I do him, & we plan to share the rest of our lives together. So that can't me my reason for being down.

I've a great job, I'm well paid, I'm well respected. I'm basically allowed to work away on my own with no instruction. No one staring over your shoulder, timing you in the mornings etc, love the work & the people, but I can't seem to motivate myself. I've lots to do, but can't bring myself to do it. I generally keep to myself & sit in my car at lunch by myself. Reason:- My work is a 'helping' role & when I sit where others are, I just get hassled to do this, do that etc. Overall the loner thing doesn't annoy me, but maybe it does get to me a bit unknown to me??? (Often think of a complete career change, but that'd take years, & I can't help but feel "grass greener" & all that)

I live at home & my family life is good. But I do wish I had my own place. BUT:- I'm afraid if I did I'd deel even more lonely, yet I generally lock myself away in my bedroom at home anyway without interacting with my family. The usual sh!te soaps are on the telly anyway, so there's no one to have a conversation anyway.

I own my own property & I'm proud of the achievement, but this ads to my anguish above. I have somewhere I could move into, away from the family home if I wanted. It's there, it's mine, but the sinsible head tells me that it makes better sense the way the situation is now. (Plus the tenant's there for another year anyway)

As I felt I was spending too much time thinking alone in my bedroom, I took up team sports. It gets me out of the house 3 evenings a week where I meet up with about 20 girls & it's a good laugh & great exercise.
There's prob only one evening in the week where I'm actually on my own.
See my BF on the 3 other days.

I have friends, but I don't see them that often. One's very girly (whereas I'm not), so except for a drunken laugh when we're out, I don't call up to visit much as we're not into the same things. The other is just meet up when we're out drinking. All others are long distance friendships that involve emailing / texting, occasional meetings etc. I'm generally out every weekend or every other weekend with bf & / or friends for drinks.

I don't like my body, but hey, who of us actually do!!! I'm too short, too fat, etc, though not extreme in any way. But then I think about it, & there are a lot worse than me.

I'm perfectly healthy, as are my family & friends, but maybe I take this for granted, & I really try not to.

Financially I'm laughing. House, new car, & plenty of savings. Only loan I have is the mortgage which is being paid for me. If I want something I can afford to buy it (within reason, of course). If I feel like a holiday, the only consideration I need to make is when can I get off work. I don't need to worry about the pennies.

So:-
Love life's fine
Work's fine
Family's fine
Social life's fine
Health's fine
Financial situation's fine

I guess sometimes I feel lost. I'm too young to be old, but too old to be young (26). I want to fast forward my life about 5 years, yet I know this is stupid & I enjoy living each day.

I've no reason not to be perfectly happy, & when I think of all those things, & how much worse things could be, & how many people in the world would give anything to be in my situation, then I realise I am happy, but why do I feel down so often????? This then makes me annoyed with myself that I do feel down:- that I should be a lot more grateful for what I've got

Anyone feel the same / have felt the same / have that kick up the backside for me, or whatever I need????

Sorry it's SO long, thanks for reading

Black Swan

You may want to touch base with a GP? There may be something physical that is affecting you and making you depressed? Just a thought.

theTinker

i could only pick one problem out of ur oherwise quite lovely life.

u seem to mention loneliness too often and when i was looking for the part where u get ur social satisfaction from your friends, it was the only part u urself pointed out less than fine. moving out from ur house hits on the same nerve as this too.

I would look into this first. if this is not the problm and u cant find more to try fix then a little bit of counseling(just light chat)/gp might help, could be a phyiscal/mental problem they are much more experienced at finding out problems like this. they could have it wrapped up in a few sessions maybe.
edit: the locking urself away from people even though i believe u crave them sounds a bit like depression to me, but it may simply be a sympton of u just been lonely . sorry im not a gp.

greys

I'm also 26, and I know exactly what you're talking about.

What are you thinking about when you want to fast forward your life?

I think the main reason of your feeling down is too much of predetermination and certainty. Let me explain: we all need a bit of variety in our lives. It was a very wise choice to start with the team sport, but you probably need something else. Try different things. Just start every morning of your life with a few simple questions like: How can I make this day different from anything I've had before? How can I make it different for the people I love and care about? What else can I try today for the first time ever? How good will it make me feel?

Also, your attitide to work is far from ideal, because you regard yourself as someone secondary, only placed there to help others but not to do any real work. What you have there is a clear indication of a bigger purpose you have for yourself, only you never say it out loud. People achieve best results when their purpose meets their passion. Although it's possible to be quite successful when they don't, you'd be much better off with working on something you feel really passionate about.

Again, have a look around - how can you feel better about the work you do? Would doing something differently make you better or worse? And why?

It's all about trying different things. And no, you don't want to fast forward a single year of your life - enjoy it while it lasts instead.

Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you want to ask or say more.