Issue starting talking to women

oceansize

Hi,

Just need saome advice. When i'm outy and i see someone i like (like maybe seen then a few times around and want to get to know them) can anyone give me any advice on topics that can hold a girls interest? I've tried asking "whats the occasion and where you from, and i've seen you around" but then i kinda run out of stuff to say

Thanks

BoozyBabe

That's a stupid question, no offence.

It's like me asking "topics of conversation to hold a guys attention"

No one's the same. Not all guys like football, cars etc....

Not all girls like shopping, makeup etc, & even if the girls you were trying to chat up were into those things, you couldn't carry off a conversation about them anyway, as you've no idea what you're talking about.

Why not ask her what she's into. Or do you like x, y, or z.

I like F1 racing, but I don't care for soccer. I love Hurling, but don't care for gaelic, hate most things girly. Tastes unique to me, interests unique to me.

Same with all other girls:- they'll have a selection of likes & dislikes unique to them, so a 'one method suits all' approach won't work.

Be yourself, don't be cocky / cheesy, be funny, be genuinely interested / friendly etc (not just I'm chatting to you just to get into your pants)

Once you come across as above, most girls would give you enough of their time for you to relax & find out what they're into.

Black Swan

"Right on BoozyBabe!":cool:

#Smokey#

i agree with boozybabe. but if youre really that stuck for words try to find a common ground with her. maybe a tv show she likes?

thre is no set formula for this man.just relax and be yourself.try makin a joke or two.and use the location to your advantage.like if your in a loud pub and you can see she's bored ask her if she wants to go outside for a bit of fresh air if the weathers okay.

Kell

Read the post from a few days ago on EXACTLY the same topic.

K-

dr.bollocko

duuuuuude no.
Just no.
A strong verbal smack on the nose is required.
The problem with your question is there is no answer.
Its like asking "How do I trick someone into liking me?"
You like women, and women like men. You are a man, so already you have an advantage over most other species on the planet.
Its important that you are yourself, relaxed, you know, out for fun and a good time.
U cant just set your underwear to stun and go out drooling around women all night, hoping one will jump into your pants because you have complicated her make up. Its not ever that simple. Unless you are colin farrell.
Some times it sucks going out, sometimes it sucks talking to new people and they make you feel crap about yourself.
This issue at the source of your query is your fear of rejection and from that your fear that you are somehow inadequate.
I think youre great, if it helps, but it probably wont cos Im not u know, 5'10'', blond, thin and curvaceous giving you that knowing smile from across the room.
These are nice girls that you would love to get to know, its not a leaving cert exam on talking to women. Its about relaxing and being yourself, putting energy into putting yourself out there.
The truth is, if you are brave one night, and talk to a lot of women, some will be fantastic, some will suck, and most may well not be interested in you, unless you are good lucking you lucky bastard.
Some nights you might do the same again and come home feeling like ****. The trick is to get relaxed around women and not make every night a non stop worry about "Will I go and talk to her? I will, I will I will I will, Oh damn, shes gone off with him".

You arent going to sleep with 99.9% of the women you meet. So dont be afraid to pass on a witticism to a girl, compliment her, go up and talk to her, introduce your friends to her, take her on a pony ride, whatever! but you can not plan the kind of connection that will get you a date, and you cannot fake it so easy either.
You have to learn that no is just a word people say, and some woman not being into you doesnt make you any less of a person, its her fault for not seeing someone sensitive enough to worry about how they come across to others.
So its not your problem, as long as you put yourself out there and see whats around.

Ruu_Old

You are thinking too hard on this one, OP. Just be yourself and if the person is interested in you then they will help you out if you get stuck.

Tar.Aldarion

Ask her about soaps and/or the OC.

Beruthiel

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Ask her about soaps and/or the OC.

I prefer shower gel myself..
OC?

Being yourself works best I think

#Smokey#

OC = Orange County (Its a tv show)

LegacyUser

first things first, look over at her and smile. if you get a smile back, or a look of curiosity, then leave it for a bit, look over ocasionaly, and then introduce yourself.

i'm afraid the rest is up to you.

if i'm in good form, and the girl is not a plank, then it can be natural enough.

practice, the more you do it the more it'll come naturaly. just say somthing like, "hi, my name's x, and i'd just thought i'd come over to try and get to know you better" while somthing like this may not be the witty'st or sharpest line, if you say it with confidence, i'm sure most women worth their salt would appriciate it.

i've had girls act quite supprised that i'm talking to them, that most guys just stand around looking at em, so at least you're standing out.

if you've nothing interesting to say, fcuk it, at least you gave it a shot.

i used to come up with some completly random sh*t, purely to amuse myself, i asked one girl what her favourite breakfast ceral was, she didn't look v impressed, wasn't thinking that this could be takin up same way as "how do you like your eggs?" i meant no offence, i was just young dumb and full of vodka red bull.

anyway, act natural, and be smiley and funny, girls like that.

oceansize

dr bollocko... u are great!

i can talk to most people, but approaching someone i don't know, who clearly seems to be looking over at me and stuff is daunting, i've done it a few times, (pulled a few nice birds that way) but some are harder to keep the attention of.

My passion is music, i'm in a coupla of bands, but i don't dress like a bandy so you prob couldn't tell i was in them, so unless they love music, i'm screwed!

dr.bollocko

Thanks man!
I really really really know how daunting it can be.
And, I have been really really lucky because any relationship I have ever had was always some sort of random chance luck, and not anything to do with me being pro-active, and relaxed and cool when I go up and chat to a girl.
I mean I have gotten women that way before, but all my serious relationships were, you know, a friend of a friend, or someone I met on the internet, or someone I nearly ran over or someone who got me drunk and wouldnt take no for an answer!

My main problem when I talk to women is the sweat thing. Or else the spitty mouth thing. U know that one?

I sweat a lot.
Look at me go.

oceansize

ha ha, i know the spitty mouth thing, but isn't it just horses who get that??

ye, bebo is the way to go i think ;-D

dr.bollocko

Horses?
I reckon Mr. Ed got his fair share of hoes.
Dont hate the spit mouth playa. Hate the spit mouth game.


Spit mouth game???????
Eww.

Colm_OReilly

oceansize,

PM sent.

dr bollocko,

I don't think oceansize was trying to trick women, just make a connection with them. Also, I don't believe it's ever down to being good looking.

Take some risks,
Colm

dr.bollocko

Colm.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
If you are interested in being pedantic re-read my post in the context it was meant and you will see that I never inferred that the original poster meant that at all, I was merely saying that it is impossible to trick or fool someone into liking you with a first impression, and his original question was tantamount to asking that. I believe this is true because if you are trying to make a genuine connection with someone there is no trick to it, you have to be genuine yourself.

Please dont bother me again without fully reading my posts before you reply to me personally in a public forum

Beetlebum

As a woman, I find confidence really attractive. It's cool when somebody is self assured and knows what they're worth. When I walk into a bra, the guy I want to talk to is the one who looks like he's having fun with his mates. A good place to meet people is at gigs cause you instantly know you have a common interest. It gives you a conversation starting point too....'So, what did ya make of the band?...'

If you're dressed well, you smell good and you're smiling, woman may even come to you!!

Listen to the advice of dr. Bolocko..... there's a man who knows what he's talking about;)

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
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Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

oceansize

Beetlebum wrote:

As a woman, I find confidence really attractive. It's cool when somebody is self assured and knows what they're worth. When I walk into a bra, the guy I want to talk to is the one who looks like he's having fun with his mates. A good place to meet people is at gigs cause you instantly know you have a common interest. It gives you a conversation starting point too....'So, what did ya make of the band?...'

If you're dressed well, you smell good and you're smiling, woman may even come to you!!

Listen to the advice of dr. Bolocko..... there's a man who knows what he's talking about;)

Well it's easy for me to meet women after i've played a gig, i was talking about just going up to someone who "doesn't know you're in the band" kinda thing? Women where i'm from will not come over and chat a fella up, becaue of the simple fact it's about 4 men to 1 woman, so they don't have to!

adonis

Beetlebum wrote:

When I walk into a bra,

sorry...thats funny...