I said No Now I want to say Yes

LegacyUser

Hi all,

a bit of advice here please:

A few years ago i was set up on a date by friends and I never went on the date As I said No to a girl, gave her the Just good friends line

At the time i knew someone else who I liked, and asked out, and we where a couple for a few years. This relationship broke up a while ago.

The thing here is that I still think of the original girl, i meet her ocassionally (group of extended friends), and I woud like to ask her out, but I do not know what to say as I gave her the hard sholder before.

what is everybody's opinion?

Unregistered1234098

Miguel_Sanchez

If I was you I wouldn't mention you turning her down before. Probably not a good idea to wound someone's pride when you're hoping they'll go out for a drink with you.

Just try the old tried and tested "So..... would you like to go for a drink with me sometime?"*



*This line has been scientifically proven to be both successful and unsuccessful on the same people depending on many different variables (these include but are not limited to: height, weight, halitosis, dress sense, level of intoxication, criminal record, salary amount, looks, make of car, area of residence, hair colour, hair length, hair amount, teeth, smile, odour and amount of lego owned)

[Jackass]

clearly lego is an issue here, but don't rush into that stragiht away OP, that's something you'll need to discuss down the road.

As for asking her out, all you know is that she fancied you and then you were unavailable for a couple of years so there's a good chance she may still fancy you.

But the past is the past and I don't think she'll hold it against you for wanting to be just friends, especially if you were kind of seeing/started to go with somebody at the time.

Next time you meet her out, just make sure you get a chance to chat to her for about an hour or so, you know, as people fall into different conversations on a night out...maybe even say you two don't hang out enough or it was great cathcing up and ask her for her number (or even better, you may already have it?) and then just text her the next day saying you really enjoyed chating to her last night, would she be interested in going for a drink during the week sometime?

Don't make a big deal out of it and never mention what happend before...just casually hit it off with her like you may have done before.

Best of luck.

theTinker

I would ask her out if i was in your position. I always think a lost chance is worst that the worst result.
i would prolly not as her out on a obvious date but just a meet up, if you two get along well and u can get sum vibes from her then at least u know she might be interested.
asking her out on a date up front can be bad if she just hasnt even thought of u in that time. If she hasnt, meeting up again for a simply chat might rekindle sumthing, a straight up date proposal would also leave the door wider for a "no, now u know how it feels"

Sony

ask her out - no big deal

obviously possible she'll give you the hard shoulder back but whats a bit of embarrassment !!

LegacyUser

Thanks for your all comments

Unreg1234098

LegacyUser

I've been in the same boat many a time. Just ask her out, but be aware that your chance may be gone, so don't be too dissappointed if you're rejected. For all you know she still really fancies you.

TerrorFirmer

Go for it, it doesn't sound like particularly difficult situation in my opinion. I dumped my current girlfriend a few years ago for another girl in the most horrible way possible, looking back I cringe, but now we're back stronger then ever for the last 20 months.

Black Swan

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained." Ask her! But like others have mentioned, don't bring up the time you turned her down.

LegacyUser

Hi,

An Update......

She said no, but gave mixed signals as being friendly and all.

what whould you all do, forget or try again?

Unreg1234098

The_Conductor

I'd suggest mixing socially with her a few times (make an effort....) and perhaps asking again further down the road (i.e. get to know her a bit better- get to be friends with her, and when she sees that you have progressed from the previous situation- maybe, just maybe, she might be willing to give things a chance).

Its highly possible that she thinks that you'll only hurt her if she shows too much enthusiasm.

Rome wasn't built in a day- be friends with her, if she changes her mind- well and good, if she doesn't- well, you'll have gained a new friend. Life is too short to live without gaining a new friend every now and then.....