alcohol free date

g-punkteffekt

Hi all. Ok so I met a really nice girl in a bar last week and have been texting since. I asked her out for a drink and she says yeah wednesday is cool but she doesn't really drink so how about a coffee or something instead? Anyway, I've never been out with a girl without having the luxury of alcohol to break the ice. I'm worried it will be a total disaster. What can you do on a "date" in Dublin apart from going to a bar or restaurant? I mean a cup of coffee? What do you do... sit there drinking coffee all night or what? I don't even drink coffee at night. I might just cancel the whole thing. The whole thing seems so awkward already. Some advice would be nice, no need to criticise me for my dependence on alcohol.
p.s. as you might have guessed I drink a lot.

Ruu_Old

Coffee and some nice sandwich bar maybe and then a nice long walk to have a chat about things, you could find yourself talking for hours.

petes

Have a soft drink instead.

Zulu

Have a sneaky few yourself before hand. ...just to knok the edge off.

projectmayhem

do something that breaks the ice for you, like bowling or the cinema...

Black Swan

Coffeehouses are big in the States for hooking up. People chat for hours. It's only 09.11 in the morning in this OC coffeehouse hotspot and a guy is chatting up a new girl right next to me.;)

unnameduser

Zulu wrote:

Have a sneaky few yourself before hand. ...just to knok the edge off.

ha! i love the suggestion!

on a more serious note - A lot of ppl need some dutch courage and perhaps the first few minutes will be awkward but if ye are going to click in any way then the ice will break quickly and bobs your uncle.

give it a go.
DR PEPPER "whats the worst that can happen"

Nevyn

Have a look at what is on the museums and gallery's about the town.
Really you can wander arround and chat.

The Bollox

maybe she means a daytime date, you could go for lunch or something

andrea

Try to resist the temptation to "knock the edge off", if she doesn't drink then she'll smell it a mile away and then things really will be awkward!

As has been suggested, try to find somewhere with something to do. A walk in the park, bowling, etc could make a nice change from sitting in a pub! You never know you might not even miss the alcohol when you have something interesting to do and somebody nice to talk to!

Oriel

If you drink a lot then you're half-way there alread - just get tanked before you meet her - i mean just because she doesn't drink doesn't mean you can't

Seriously, there are plenty of things to do in Dublin, you'd just have to break out of your normal pub-pattern.
More importantly, what's point in taking things with this girl any further if you have have a problem with not drinking on the first date?
Do you intent turning into a hardcore drinker during the course of your relationship?

S.

Fanny Cradock

treat her to a meal. it's romantic and it provides handy a topic of conversation. "I hear the Big Mac is good here" etc if you really need a drink then you could order one with your meal. it would help relax you a little while not appearing as if your an alcoholic.

avoid the cinema. how can you get to know someone when you sit in a dark room without talking for a few hours? on second thoughts, there are plenty of ways to get to know someone, but maybe wait till the second date... and not in the cinema.

earlyish meal followed by a walk in ivy gardens or stephens green.

Squall

More importantly, what's point in taking things with this girl any further if you have have a problem with not drinking on the first date?

I second that.

If its this much trouble to find something to do on the first date then what will it be like if you end up going further?

Fanny Cradock

because he may get to know the girl and find he likes her.

if everybody took that attitude then no one would bother going out

CathyMoran

I would never drink on a first date (exception being when I got back with my ex), it takes a while to get to know someone. In terms of first dates they have been dinner then Bewleys or some other coffee shop.

Sony

You met her in a bar last week?

I think its acceptable to ask her to meet in a bar somewhere again....out of respect - dont drink if you think she might have a problem with it though

Im sure at some point she'll give you the go ahead to get a beer anyway-just because she doesnt drink doesnt mean she has a problem with other people doing it ya know!

mack1

As far as suggestions go, you could try this place called (I think!) Cafe Mocca beside Peter's Pub on the corner of William St & Chatham St - nicer atmos that the starbucks type american mega-mall coffee shops

Squall

Fanny Cradock wrote:

because he may get to know the girl and find he likes her.

if everybody took that attitude then no one would bother going out

Im not saying dont date her... far from it. Im just saying if he has this much trouble figuring out where to go on a first date then whats he going to do if they do hit if off. . just giving him something to think about.

jellie

you're probably better off not drinking to be honest. at least that way you'll know whether or not you get on, rather than just getting drunk together & then the next day thinking "did we actually like each other or were we just drunk?". cause this leads to confusion

Shellie13

maybe ask her for a few suggestion?!
I'd say playing pool or going bowling or something would give you something to DO so its not too awakward and if ye go somewhere quiteish ye can get to chat after?!

Sony

Squall wrote:

Im not saying dont date her... far from it. Im just saying if he has this much trouble figuring out where to go on a first date then whats he going to do if they do hit if off. . just giving him something to think about.

if they hit it off he can come back here and ask for a suggestion for a second date..

I dont see anything wrong with what he's asking

g-punkteffekt

well you see if I did get to know her, then I wouldn't have to worry about drinking, I mean I had no problem not drinking with other girlfriends (but never on first date), with the last one she wasn't a big drinker either so I kind of drank in my own time when I got a chance. I'm not worried about the future or having a bloody relationship with her, I just want to see what happens, and she's really hot so sleeping with her would also be one of my aims.

Fanny Cradock

Squall wrote:

Im not saying dont date her... far from it. Im just saying if he has this much trouble figuring out where to go on a first date then whats he going to do if they do hit if off. . just giving him something to think about.

if they hit it off then what's the problem? it won't matter (to a degree) where they go then.

The_B_Man

THE ZOO!!!!!
pretty standard stuff here! its walkable from town aswell!

Marksie

its hot, thebeach, trip on the dart. coffee lunch in a nice restaurant. Phoenix park. PLenty to do.

biko

You can still go to a bar and nurse a couple of bottles over an hour and half. Then get hungry and go for a meal somewhere and maybe a trad pub. Have one or two more bottles and then call it a night.
This way you'll have a good few hours to talk, not much to drink and won't come off as a raging alchoholic.

fuzzywiggle

Zulu wrote:

Have a sneaky few yourself before hand. ...just to knok the edge off.

I wouldn't recommend this! If she smelled the drink off him I don't think she would be too impressed! Especially as she doesn't drink herself. Go for a coffee, walk, cinema, lunch, dinner or bowling. Don't panic too much over it. What do you need alcohol for anyway :rolleyes:

gizzymo

As a lite drinker I wonder what on earth is wrong with this country where so many people have to enter a mind altered state to face real life situations, enjoy themselves or take a chance. Its a sad state of affairs that we have to take the edge off life. I drink myself so I have no problem with alcohol, but i do have a problem with how so many of to use it as a medication to help in particular situations and thus depend on it.
Seems to me that learning to depend on it *can* lead to greater problems down the line. Note, I said "can" not "will"....

Fanny Cradock

that's "light" and not "lite".

i find in moderation it can help calm nerves. too much and it becomes messy though. i guess it's just personal choice as much as a cultural norm.

Zulu

fuzzywiggle wrote:

I wouldn't recommend this! If she smelled the drink off him I don't think she would be too impressed! .... What do you need alcohol for anyway :rolleyes:

I'm not suggesting slugging back a half bottle of whiskey! :rolleyes: A few sneaky ones are just the ticket to loosen the lips and put a sparkle in the eye.

andrea

Zulu wrote:

I'm not suggesting slugging back a half bottle of whiskey! :rolleyes: A few sneaky ones are just the ticket to loosen the lips and put a sparkle in the eye.

To a non drinker that'll smell just as bad! I didn't drink at all myself until a few years ago and it's like being a non smoker, you can smell it off someone a mile away. I never had a problem with other people drinking, or even getting drunk, in my company but I certainly knew when somebody had had "a few ones"!

Beetlebum

I fully understand where your coming from an was in a similar situation myself a while ago. A lovely bloke asked me out and when I suggested going to a bar he said he didn't really like drinking. I'm very fond of my friend alcohol an had no desire to meet this guy in a cafe and drink tea all night, where's the fun in that?! I didn't meet him in the end cause I knew we'd be struggling for conversation and to be honest I thought I'd probabaly be bored.

I don't need alcohol to have a good time but I think it tends to make a night more fun....

andrea

Beetlebum wrote:

I don't need alcohol to have a good time but I think it tends to make a night more fun....

So why could you not have had a good night out with him without alcohol, if you don't need it?

Beetlebum

andrea wrote:

So why could you not have had a good night out with him without alcohol, if you don't need it?

I've had plenty of great nights out without alcohol and I love going out for dinner and to the cinema but I barely knew this guy. In a first date situation I'd much rather go to a bar or to a gig and have a few drinks. If I was really really attracted to the guy an he didn't wanna go to a bar then I would meet up for coffee but I know that going to a bar would be way more fun. Ultimately, I don't think I could go out with someone who doesn't drink. It just wouldn't work. Judge me if ya want, It's my personal choice and I'm just being honest.

Zulu

andrea wrote:

To a non drinker that'll smell just as bad! I didn't drink at all myself until a few years ago and it's like being a non smoker, you can smell it off someone a mile away. I never had a problem with other people drinking, or even getting drunk, in my company but I certainly knew when somebody had had "a few ones"!

Oh pish-posh, vodka dosen't smell. ...and it's nothing a mint wouldn't sort out.

andrea

Beetlebum wrote:

I've had plenty of great nights out without alcohol and I love going out for dinner and to the cinema but I barely knew this guy. In a first date situation I'd much rather go to a bar or to a gig and have a few drinks. If I was really really attracted to the guy an he didn't wanna go to a bar then I would meet up for coffee but I know that going to a bar would be way more fun. Ultimately, I don't think I could go out with someone who doesn't drink. It just wouldn't work. Judge me if ya want, It's my personal choice and I'm just being honest.

Oh I don't judge people, I'm just curious about the fact that alcohol could be so important to somebody that they'd give up the possibility of what might have been something really good with somebody. I can't really understand alcohol being that necessary as it has never been such a big deal for me.

Not drinking alcohol doesn't mean you can't go to a bar, that the only other option is a sober/dull coffee. I've had many nights in bars without a single alcoholic drink and it hasn't stopped me enjoying myself.

We live in an odd culture where if a person says they don't drink they instantly become less attractive to the majority of people!

carbonkid

andrea wrote:

Not drinking alcohol doesn't mean you can't go to a bar, that the only other option is a sober/dull coffee. I've had many nights in bars without a single alcoholic drink and it hasn't stopped me enjoying myself

Really?...wow i couldnt do that. Maybe for an hour but as everyone started getting wee bit drunk id feel left out and bored. You wouldnt be on the same level as all your mates.

We dont need drink all the time to have some good craic but as on topic for a first date your very nervous and say silly things, drink will help you relax. Although i dont agree with beetlebum when s/he said s/he wouldnt meet him because he didnt want to drink - thats a wee bit silly :rolleyes:

andrea

I guess I manage to feel comfortable acting as silly as people who are drunk without actually drinking. Some of my best nights out have involved no alcohol at all. And I'm actually a fairly shy person, so it's not as if I'm just full of confidence without alcohol.

As for a first date, I'd rather be sober enough to remember and fully enjoy it and I would prefer somebody's first impression of me to be of the sober me so that they would know who I really am.

noeleenred

She doesnt want a drink and she isnt stopping you from having one. Why don't you go to a coffee shop that sells beer, she can have coffee and you can have beer.

elexes

The_B_Man wrote:

THE ZOO!!!!!
pretty standard stuff here! its walkable from town aswell!

i fully support this suggestion as one of the best here !