Stressed

LegacyUser

Hi,

I dont think this is necesserily medical advice im seeking here, so here goes...

I run my own company, its a small business and it consists of just one person...me! it pays well but the reason for this is that I cant afford to pay someone a wage aswell as my own just yet

The work itself is extremely physical & strenuous because I'm on my own doing it.... but that aside dealing with the customers, prospective customers, suppliers and all the everyday dealings is also extremely hard.... The problem is I get so stressed out its not funny, I seriously can't relax now that I'm working for myself - when I was earning a wage for doing the same type job I had no worries whatsoever but I can't go back to doing that cause I"ve put so much money into this business already!

How do I learn to forget about work when friday comes?? I've tried turning my phone off and my best to not think about it but I can't seem to, its always on my mind....has anyone been in a similar situation before? I never used to get stressed before but now its depressing me something terrible

thanks for reading

Daragh, 24

RandomOne

Been there, done that and got a friend who's just coming out the other side too. The problem's finding a balance between how much paid work you can do against how much admin/prep work that involves and how much you need to earn. Put a sensible cost on your time including travel time (assuming you attend customer premises, they don't come to you) time spent ordering etc and be choosy about what work you take on at what price.

Get a good accountant to have a look at and analyse your quarterly figures so you know whether all this work and stress is actually making you any money, and what's worthwhile and what isn't. Over time, you'll refine it so you're out doing what your actual job is and someone else is doing all the admin ****.

AngryBadger

That's an especially tough situation because there are no clear boundaries between your work life and your personal life. Plus you're just getting used to managing your affairs between the two.

I'd suggest making some changes that clearly define your work time/place. If you're working from home, maybe rent some office space? or at least relegate everything to a single office, don't work half in the kitchen, half in your den, and half in the office, confine all work to the office, that way the rest of your space is for yourself. Also, get a second mobile phone, and use that as your personal number, (presumably your current number is already your business number), that way you can turn off your business phone, and it doesn't cut you off from the rest of the world, or at the very least you know what's a business call and what's a personal call. changes like that can help to compartmentalise the two areas of your life.

I know it sounds like BS but it's crucial to differentiate between the personal, and professional areas of your life, otherwise you experience what you're going through now because your' work, (which is very important), is overflowing into every other aspect of your life. Suddenly how you're doing at work reflects how you're doing socially, and vice versa. makes it very hard to relax, and leads to a lot of unnecessary stress.

LegacyUser

thanks for the advice--its actually in the buiulding trade so Im never at home , I do have seperate numbers for work and personal use aswell thanks..

I actually had a different high pressure job some years ago where it took time for me to learn not to bring my work/stress home with me but now that Im working for myself its totally different...

Im just trying to be rational at the moment and not let my stress issue get out of hand cause I know like everyone else pressure like this can break people alltogether...

thanks again-i know its a bit of a boring problem to be reading cause its not about getting dumped or being cheated on etc but second opinions on this are vital for me right now....I really would prefer not to have to seek professional help about it just yet !

RandomOne

man im stressed wrote:

thanks again-i know its a bit of a boring problem to be reading cause its not about getting dumped or being cheated on etc !

I thought it made a nice change as it goes. Best of luck with the business and sorting things out.

Victor

Can you sub-contract out any of the work? It means you don't need to employ anyone.

greys

Do you think you can share some of the reasons for your stress with us?

Sometimes it's nothing wrong with what you're doing, but how you interpret things. Your beliefs are wrong, and they might be stressing you out all the time while there is really neither need nor reason for that.

What I've found useful in a similar situation is this: find the 3 major differences you think tell you apart from your previous paid jobs, and see why they seem to be stressing you out.

Example: one of the most stressing reasons is money matters. It's to do with wrong beliefes.
1) Working for someone, you (usually) get paid for hours, regardless of the exact results you achieve.
2) Working for yourself, you have to make sure you're constantly on top of things, otherwise you will lose money or worse.

While this sounds believable, the 2nd belief is wrong. You're NOT doing much differently when you work for yourself. You just said it so yourself! You're doing the same things, the same way - only now you're enjoying the freedom of being the master of your time and finances. So why getting stressed up?!

You're NOT going to go bankrupt if you make a petty mistake or take a day off. And, most definitely, you're NOT going to break things by just having a justified weekend!

Good luck!

LegacyUser

thanks thats very sound advice

first of all because of my situation I cant sub contract any work-theres a very valid reason for this and its not an option at all..

good point grey but what I meant was Im still doing the same type work - but its different in the sense that Im on my own doing it,aside from all the phone calls etc Ive to deal with each day ,the work itself is extremely labour intensive and ideally I need another person with me but as i said before i cant gaurantee them a weekly wage just yet...so thats unfortunatly not an option either

Im actually considering putting the company on hold until this time next year and taking up anopther job in the mean time as next year Ill be able to employ someone for sure...being totally honest even though i think it might be for the best for my personal life I cant help feeling like Im copping out-does this sound like one to you guys?

bandraoi

Develop a routine that tells your brain your switching off for the evening and also weekend.
It could be a trip to the gym, listening to a specific song on the way home, a short walk, buying a chinese takeaway on a Friday evening, something that you do every day/week so that your head is trained to get the message work is over for the time being.

Also, you might not be able to afford someone full time but could you get someone one day a week who will do admin stuff, order from suppliers and that sort of stuff so that you can focus on the main business. You might know someone suitable who'd be happy to do it, it'd probably suit someone with young kids as a low pressure job where they could get through the work one or two days while the kids are at school.

Black Swan

You defined yourself as an entrepreneur. A challenge for sure to departmentalise your life and separate yourself from your newly formed business on weekends. It's part of the price you have to pay for a new business start IMO. Have a friend over at the USC School of Business in their Entrepreneurial programme. His solution, if it is one, he states: "Work hard! Play hard!"

thegloriousend

Get this book "healing without freud or prozac" by David servan schreiber - available in major book stores

Sony

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

You defined yourself as an entrepreneur. A challenge for sure to departmentalise your life and separate yourself from your newly formed business on weekends. It's part of the price you have to pay for a new business start IMO. Have a friend over at the USC School of Business in their Entrepreneurial programme. His solution, if it is one, he states: "Work hard! Play hard!"

Thats hardly fair-he's looking for some advice not for someone to ultimately tell him "serves you right for working for yourself" ... and I dont think any entrepreneur would see stress as a welcome "challenge" either

I can only advise that you seek a professional opinion,you dont sound happy and a therapist of some sort wont tell ya "ah sorry thats the price you have to pay, I cant help you with your stress problem"

Best of luck;)