If confucious was inlove...

LegacyUser

Looking for some advice on this matter.
I think I love my girlfriend. I love all the things she does etc. But I am very curious, partly due to this being my first real relationship, of what another one would be like. The whole single thing, while being lonely sometimes, is alot of fun. Youre not tied down, physically or mentally. I am considering acting like a bastard to make her break up with me, and the funny thing is while I know I'll regret it, I'm letting it happen and amnt too pushed. What the hell is wrong with me. Is this pure selfishness. Do I just need a few more one night stands to fully appreciate her. AAAAAAgh!Out of my mind with this.

sceptre

Unreg29000 wrote:

Do I just need a few more one night stands to fully appreciate her.

Just to get this straight: you're wondering if the solution to the meandering wonderings you're having about whether you want to stay with your current girlfriend is to go out and have a few one night stands.

Drop her. Like a heavy stone. You'll be able to fling about your royal oats like cheap confetti as you'd like and she'll find someone who doesn't think that one night stands are a relationship panacea.

Metacortex

Unreg29000 wrote:

Looking for some advice on this matter.
I think I love my girlfriend. I love all the things she does etc. But I am very curious, partly due to this being my first real relationship, of what another one would be like. The whole single thing, while being lonely sometimes, is alot of fun. Youre not tied down, physically or mentally. I am considering acting like a bastard to make her break up with me, and the funny thing is while I know I'll regret it, I'm letting it happen and amnt too pushed. What the hell is wrong with me. Is this pure selfishness. Do I just need a few more one night stands to fully appreciate her. AAAAAAgh!Out of my mind with this.

Nice. Do your girlfriend a favour and break up with her so she can find someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

Tar.Aldarion

Show her this thread, she will do the rest.

Black Swan

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Show her this thread, she will do the rest.

Maybe he already has, if she frequents boards?

Beruthiel

Do her a favour, dump her now.
You don't deserve her and she certainly doesn't deserve to be with someone like you.

cance

Beruthiel wrote:

Do her a favour, dump her now.
You don't deserve her and she certainly doesn't deserve to be with someone like you.

exactly,

i mean wtf like? hurt somebody for your own gain? thats really really gutless.

Beetlebum

The fact that you want to have a few one night stands is fine but do the decent thing and break up with your girlfriend first. You don't sound mature enough to even be in a relationship. Planning on being a pr*ck to make her break up with you first is just so cowardly. With that kind of mentality, I'm surprised your not cheating on her guilt-free already.

Dragan

Unreg29000 wrote:

Looking for some advice on this matter.
I think I love my girlfriend. I love all the things she does etc. But I am very curious, partly due to this being my first real relationship, of what another one would be like. The whole single thing, while being lonely sometimes, is alot of fun. Youre not tied down, physically or mentally. I am considering acting like a bastard to make her break up with me, and the funny thing is while I know I'll regret it, I'm letting it happen and amnt too pushed. What the hell is wrong with me. Is this pure selfishness. Do I just need a few more one night stands to fully appreciate her. AAAAAAgh!Out of my mind with this.

Your whole post tells me your not actually mature enough to be in a relationship at all.

Besides, if you want to be single the grow a pair of stones and break up with her yourself......or shut the fu*k up, think about what you have and find a little happiness for yourself dude.

fuzzywiggle

If you want to break up with her then just do it. Don't start acting like a prick to her. That would be extremely cowardly of you. What I find strange is that at the start of your post you say you think you love her? You either love her and want to be with her or you aren't ready for a relationship and would like to have one night stands. Which is it?

Ickle Magoo

You think you love her? Let me tell you...you don't know the meaning of love - or respect, or relationships come to that...

If you want to sow your wild oats then end your relationship & go do that....acting badly just to squirrel out of having to tell her you don't want to go out with her for no better reason that you think the grass is greener? I'd be banned if I said what I really thought....

Beetlebum

Ickle Magoo wrote:

You think you love her? Let me tell you...you don't know the meaning of love - or respect, or relationships come to that...

If you want to sow your wild oats then end your relationship & go do that....acting badly just to squirrel out of having to tell her you don't want to go out with her for no better reason that you think the grass is greener? I'd be banned if I said what I really thought....

So true, fair play to ya. I was gonna write some much harsher words aswell but having been banned last week thought I better just bite my tongue...ow....

LadyJ

Unreg29000 wrote:

I am considering acting like a bastard to make her break up with me

Had a guy who I loved very much do this to me. I knew something was up but I didn't have the heart to end it because,well,I didn't want it to end.

It dragged on for ages until I asked him was he just doing this so I'd dump him.

I really would have preferred him to just be honest with me from the start. Maybe I'd have nicer memories of him.

Why end a good thing with a pile of $hit like that?

um7y1h83ge06nx

Jesus OP, you're getting a lot of stick here!

I'm guessing that you're young, late teens maybe? It's hard for guys to get into big long term relationships at that age, you're always wondering what you're missing out on.

I'm 23 and have only started taking women any bit seriously in the last year or so. Better when you're young to go crazy and get it all "out of your system". Eventually, surprisingly enough, you will probably get bored of your wild ways and slow things down with women.

I really think that this relationship is a dead duck now, and you should probably move on and play the field for a while.

Good luck.

(Hmm, wonder will I get some stick for this post?)

Dragan

Ismael Disgusting Gorge wrote:

(Hmm, wonder will I get some stick for this post?)

Doubt it, there is a difference between enjoying your freedom as you did and leading some young lass on while cheating on her and trying to get her to dump you.

Go figure!!!

um7y1h83ge06nx

Dragan wrote:

Doubt it, there is a difference between enjoying your freedom as you did and leading some young lass on while cheating on her and trying to get her to dump you.

Go figure!!!

True. Strongly believe that people end up in massive complex relationships at far too young an age. One guy I know ended up in a 4 year long realtionship in first year in college. He had just turned 18 a few weeks previously.

When they broke up he completely regretted being with only one girl through out college.

And yeah, he should definitely break things off with that girl!

smash

If you gotta ask, you already know the answer!

Untense

Unreg29000 wrote:

....
I think I love my girlfriend.

....I am considering acting like a bastard to make her break up with me, and the funny thing is while I know I'll regret it....

....Do I just need a few more one night stands to fully appreciate her.

You're horny and have little interest in anything other than getting your bit. Stop trying to pretend it's anything else, and at least have the decency to actually break up with your girlfriend.

Fanny Cradock

Let’s get to the truth of the matter:

You don't love your girlfriend. In fact, you cheapen the word when you say you do and, in the same paragraph, countenance one night stands and acting like a bastard (which I already suspect you are).

This IS pure selfishness, yet it’s more than that; it’s cowardice too. To think that you can only fully appreciate you GF after you bone a few girls is laughable. Stop lying to yourself and, for comparison, consider how a man truly in love would treat the objective of his affections. Your way isn’t it, bud.

Break up with the girl.

Miguel_Sanchez

It's funny when people come on looking for advice and then get set upon for being assholes. I like it.

But seriously, it's a real low, cowardly thing to do - acting distant and being a prick just so she'll break up with you. If you want to be with other women break up with your girlfriend.

And I think you should break up with your girlfriend because, well, you sound a bit immature and will only end up cheating on her or something.
Also down the line you'll probably get your heart broken by someone and maybe it'll wise you up a bit.

[edit] This post makes me sound like I'm a self-righteous ****er. I'm not. I know nothing about relationships and have been a prick in the past. I also have had my heart broken so I kinda know both ends of the stick [/edit]

dabbler2004

Split from your girlfriend.
Have as much fun as you want.
Sometime in the future you'll realise how much of a gobsh1te you were/are.
Get very annoyed/upset/puzzled when you try to apologise to her and she's having none of it.

TOUGH!

Don't hurt other people deliberately!!!

Some advice;
women are like roses; if you look after them well you will be rewarded with something that's beautiful to look at, smells nice and is exquisite, mysterious and a pleasure to be with. However if you treat them wrong you end up with something that is covered with sharp thorns.
................you have been warned..........

LegacyUser

my ex acted like the way you describe and I ended up breaking up with him for being a prick. We were together over 3 years and were in our mid - late 20's at the time.
I've moved on now but he still regrets it (4 years on). he only told me long after we broke up that he had been doing all these things so I'd break up with him!

Anyway I suppose what I'm saying is have a long hard think about it before you decide to get out of the relationship, you don't want to regret it.

However if you are young it might be different.

justhim

im sorry but wtf?!? Stop what your doing, think about what you want from the relationship and where you want it to go. If you descide you want to break up and see what else is out there then fair enough, stop being an asshole and tell the girl. Cut out all the games!

The Sweeper

Cake.

Have the cake.

Eat the cake.

...no more cake.

When you have eaten all the cake, you do not still have cake.

You do not get to have a number of one night stands in order to find out whether or not you'll appreciate your girlfriend more.

You do get to have a number of one night stands that bring you to the realisation that you should have treated your ex-girlfriend better.

No cake for you.

CaptainSmith

I can save something good...

If you like her, stay with her, it is really that simple, you will regret breaking up with your first for a long time either way, and your probably wont walk into another relationship, and again, she wont take you back unless you break up really nicely, even then, unlikely.

Enjoy it while it lasts,

Cheers

LadyJ

Btw OP,when I was in your girlfriend's situation,I knew exactly what was going on so give her some credit. She probably already knows that you're trying to take the cowards way out.

Be a man.

Medina

I would say that you know you're going to regret it if you dump her to have a few one night stands.

If one of those one night stands turns out to be someone you like, you could end up dating them..so whats the difference?

If you just miss being flirty..well there's no real harm in that as long as you don't take it too far..you can look at the menu just don't order...

At the end of all those one night stands, what exactly will you have achieved? A couple of drunk sweaty memories of a quick shag, that's all...then gone back to being on your own.

And sure can't you have great sex with your girlfriend?

What you're considering doing will actually backfire on you. Is it worth sacrificing this girl you think you love for a few one-nighters? Are you that good looking anyway that you know you will score? I think you'd have about a total of 2 hours of sex from various girls and then you'd regret it.

The Hill Billy

If Confucius was reading this thread, he would probably have the following to say to you:

Confucius (551-479 B.C.) wrote:

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

Confucius (551-479 B.C.) wrote:

To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.

I, on the other hand do not want to be banned from this forum & shall keep my opinions of you & your "predicament" to myself.

idunno78

you should break up with her if you thats what you think will be for the best. Dont go treating her like **** and hope that she will break up with you. Because if you do realise that you do actually love her well your fcuked cos i doubt she would go back to ya again after the way she was treated. tell her the truth. go on a break or something?