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The Church

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  • 14-07-2006 6:50pm
    #1
    Odaise Gaelach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭


    I've never written anything as long as this before - The Church is 10 pages (7190 words) long. So it's a fairly long story to have to get through.

    It's also my first real "horror" story - though I think "stalk and slash" might be a better way to describe it.

    It's a violent and bloody story. Don't say that I didn't warn you. If you're sure that you still want to read it, download the Word attachment. Or you could skip this and read Koda instead. :)

    If anyone reads it through to the end, if you have any comments and criticisms, then please leave them behind.

    Enjoy. :)


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    #2
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    a brilliant story, very well written, kudos!


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    #3
    Odaise Gaelach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭Odaise Gaelach


    Wow! I'm thrilled that you read the whole thing Marts. Even more thrilled that you liked it too! Thanks man! :D


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    #4
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    no probs, it was very Evil Dead, my likey.
    I was expecting them to get hopped at the end before they left the castle


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    #5
    Da Bounca
    Registered Users Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭Da Bounca


    It was a lot of fun to read, especially liked the rug, might have to steal that and add it into my rpg.


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    #6
    Odaise Gaelach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭Odaise Gaelach


    Marts wrote:
    no probs, it was very Evil Dead, my likey.
    I was expecting them to get hopped at the end before they left the castle

    To be perfectly honest, it felt right to end the story after they met Alaru. And I couldn't think of anything else horrible happening to them.

    By the way, you remember in The Healer's Rain when you Cu_Ifrinn said I should take out the rain's description?

    Well, near the end of The Church when
    Grace explains how she escaped from the rug?
    Well, when I was re-drafting that part I realised that I was doing the same as I did in The Healer's Rain. So I changed it.

    So, I'm getting better thanks to your advice. :D
    Da Bounca wrote:
    It was a lot of fun to read, especially liked the rug, might have to steal that and add it into my rpg.

    Heh heh... steal the rug! Just be careful when you wipe your feet in it... ;)


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    #7
    Matt Holck
    Registered Users Posts: 9,706 ✭✭✭Matt Holck


    The floor was made of a yellow, shiny tile and there was a red carpet unrolled down the aisle.

    that made me giggle
    Many of them had served her for thousands of years old.
    grammer.typo i spot

    the phone scenes been done
    I'm going to kill you

    the sinking carpet was great

    you might want to rethink the chimey
    it's parallels the carpet
    but the resonance falls flat


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    #8
    Odaise Gaelach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭Odaise Gaelach


    Matt Holck wrote:
    grammer.typo i spot

    Gahh! I hate it when I miss a typo. Thanks!
    Matt Holck wrote:
    you might want to rethink the chimey
    it's parallels the carpet
    but the resonance falls flat

    Yeah, I know what you mean...


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