parents

LegacyUser

Just curious about others' opinions on this and i'd appreciate any advice.
I'm 18 years old, just finished my Leaving. Since I was 11, every summer I've been going to a park in a coastal town with my parents for two weeks, it's about a 45min drive from where I live. It was fun at that age but the past few summers (and particularly this one), I feel like I want to stay at home in the city, to be with my friends etc (I currently have no job).

My problem is my parents refuse to let me stay at home by myself. Personally I don't see any problem with it. I wouldn't have a lot of people over while they're gone and stuff, and my siblings live in the city anyway so they'd be quite near. I don't know if it's because I'm the youngest or it's because I've never been in this situation before, but how can I experience it unless I'm in that situation?

Also I won a competition to Electric Picnic and they are allowing me to stay in a hotel in Laois for 3 nights with a male friend so I don't see why they won't let me stay at home? I feel so embarrassed as it's like they see me as a baby.

Victor

Consider it a right of passage. Perhaps engage in a dialogue (not a row ) with them with what is / isn't acceptable to them.

Perhaps getting a job might be useful.

LegacyUser

Just want to add that while I currently have no job, I am applying to many.

Fanny Cradock

maybe it's as much about time alone with you rather than the olds not trusting you.

why don't you just say what you've written above to them!

Demetrius

Maybe they see it as a family thing and want you all to spend time together?

cornbb

My parents were like that too, but as soon as I started college they completely changed their attitudes and let me have all the freedom I want. It was the right thing, in retrospect. If you are a responsible girl your parents should reward you by showing they trust you, perhaps you should (softly, softly) suggest this to them.

Chinafoot

Have a chat with them and try not to let it decend into a shouting match. I'm the youngest too and believe me, parents don't like the idea of the baby being old enough to look after themselves.

Try and see it from their point of view too. It's 2 weeks. That can seem like a very long time to your parents for you to be left alone. Especially as you aren't working and mayeb they worry that you could get stuck for money.


If talking doesn't work get yourself a job (which you should be trying to do anyway) and tell them you can't get the time off work...

LadyJ

Your parents seem to be a tad over-protective alright.

You are 18 and legally an adult but I'm betting your folks use the "While you're living under our roof,you'll follow our rules" line?

Get a job and show them that you are independant.

That way when they go on holiday,you can go somewhere else for two weeks with your mates.

I recommend somewhere hot and far away!

LegacyUser

I appreciate your advice everyone but telling me to get a job, it's not as easy as it sounds. I am trying to get one.

The Doktor

18yearoldgirl wrote:

I feel so embarrassed as it's like they see me as a baby.

You ARE their baby!
remember one other thing, this is probably the last time they will have a holiday with their baby, and thats probably quite upsetting for them.
Why not maybe TALK to them, and ask them to give you one week at home alone, and spend one week with them on holidays?

LegacyUser

I was 19 - working and they sent my grandfather to stay with me when they were away....

that was my cue to get a place for me...

LegacyUser

Maybe they like U a lot and wouldn't be without U !

CathyMoran

The thing is that you never get the time back with your parents, blink and it is gone...for me I would go on the holiday with my parents, consider it to be the last one for a while and create some great memories. I stopped going on holidays with my parents (or so I thought) when I was 23, I picked the last holiday and we all had a great time...I went to London with them 4 years ago, more great memories and went on a holiday with them at Christmas. Yes, I am the baby in the family but I have never regretted those holidays.

Beruthiel

18yearoldgirl
I have a daughter the same age as you. I really enjoy her company, we have had some great nights together. Perhaps your parents enjoy your company?
Maybe they are afraid they will come back to a house to find it thrashed because of the big parties you'll be throwing every other night?
What is your relationship like with them? Do they trust you? It would seem they do if they are letting you off for 3 nights.
I can't really understand where they are coming from to be honest, going to the same place every year would bore me to tears and I can well understand that it would bore you too.
Have they never thought of going on a holiday somewhere that you all could enjoy?
Sit down with them and talk in a calm, logical manner, see what comes of it.

Sleepy

You mentioned your siblings live in the city, perhaps you could stay with one of them for the 2 weeks?

Maybe try the angle that you don't want to leave because you want to be around to be available for interviews/keep job-hunting etc.?

ronanp

There's no freedom without financial independence!

Miguel_Sanchez

I remember wanting to stay home when my parents went on holidays when I was 17 and thinking that it was so unfair that I had to go, etc. etc.

But, like others are pointing out - this will probably be the last time you'll go away on hoidays with your parents and in a few years you'll probably only see them maybe a few weekends a year and at Christmas. Maybe if they're not going to let you stay at home then you should make the most of the holiday and look at it as a time to spend a bit of quality time with the folks.

Plus - holiday romances are fun.

Black Swan

The three days in a hotel with a male friend and not wanting you to be left in the city seems inconsistent to me. Maybe they just want you to be with them, you being the youngest and the last of their children? Are you their favourite?

vonnyob

My parents have been going to portugal for the last couple of years with a big gang of family and friends, these holidays do be the best, but like you when I was 16 (17 by time holiday came bout) I wanted to stay home, I went and got a job in Mcdonalds, I hated it but told parents I couldnt get time off work!!!

Result: I stayed in the house for three weeks, they arranged for one of my friends to stay with me, (whos parents lived up the road-who checked in on us!!)

they also arranged for my nan to drop over every now and then!!!

So sweety, my advice, take a job anywhere, say you cant take time off, then when they gone pack in the job!!!

Victor

18yearoldgirl wrote:

I appreciate your advice everyone but telling me to get a job, it's not as easy as it sounds. I am trying to get one.

You are allowed ask for help in getting a job.