Going Travelling without girlfriend

Mrbrianmolko

Im going off to SE asia in a few weeks for 10 weeks without my girlfriend of 3 years.

And im seriously starting to consider dropping out cos im just gonna miss her so much. I dont feel i will be able to have fun cos il be thinking about her and missing her so much and 10 weeks is a long long time.

I know i will regret it forever if i dont go, but i just cant stand to be without her.

Anyone know what i shud do?

withneill

I think you should go. Its not as long as you think and when your over there you have skype and msn and heaps of ways of keeping in touch. It sounds like you have a rock solid relationship so go enjoy yourself and keep her well informed-my girlfriend just nosed in and said "take her with you" or "wait until she can go if its possible" - I still say go-maybe she can come out later.
Hope this helps
PS how does she feel about it?

lost_for_words

You've answered your own question. You know you will really regret it if you don't go and 10 weeks isn't really that long. Is it possible for her to take a trip out there half way through the trip?
Seriously don't mess up this opportunity, you'll have the memories for the rest of your life and you could end up resenting your girlfriend because you missed out on such a fantastic trip.

FX Meister

Ten weeks isn't that long. If you can't surrive ten weeks apart then it's not much of a relationship. My ex went travelling for a year last September. I ended it in February as the time apart made me put things in perspective and it told me we weren't meant to be together. A year apart is too long in my opinion. But ten weeks? Come on.

Mezcita

Bloody hell. Go!!!!! You are right. If you don't go you will regret it. Most of us would love to head off on that type of trip. Do it man! Do it!

LadyJ

Go.

If you are secure in your relationship then why waste this opportunity?

You're girlfriend will still be here when you come back and you might even learn to appreciate each other more than you already do.

If you can go 10 weeks without one another then you know you're solid.

Also,you might gain some healthy independence too.

Don't miss out on the trip of a lifetime.

gary the great

Ye go, they say time apart makes the heart grow fonder or somethin like that!

Ruu_Old

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, OP. Go and have some fun!

Mrbrianmolko

Thanks for the replies, she cant come out during the 10 weeks and she wouldnt go even if she cud, shes loves being in Ireland and with her family!

Ye is suppose 10weeks is nothing and will fly past, she just bought a pc so she could keep in touch. She is also encouraging me to go for the exact reason that i will begin to resent her if i miss out on this fantastic opportunity.

And another thing thats on my mind is what if she realises in the time apart that were not meant to be or she starts to like someone else?
She is a very outgoing and good looking girl and although i know she wouldnt cheat on me its always going to be in the back of my mind..

Chinafoot

Mrbrianmolko wrote:

And another thing thats on my mind is what if she realises in the time apart that were not meant to be or she starts to like someone else?
She is a very outgoing and good looking girl and although i know she wouldnt cheat on me its always going to be in the back of my mind..

Chances are she's thinking the same thing and you would most likely tell her not to worry. I'm sure she'd say the same to you.

Like LadyJ said, if you are secure in your relationship then there should be nothing stopping you. Yes you'll miss her and she'll miss you too, but 10 weeks apart will be a whole lot better for your relationship than you backing out and blaming her for your decision not to go.

Do it, and enjoy it. With a trip like that the 10 weeks will fly by anyway.

Ruu_Old

Mrbrianmolko wrote:

Thanks for the replies, she cant come out during the 10 weeks and she wouldnt go even if she cud, shes loves being in Ireland and with her family!

Ye is suppose 10weeks is nothing and will fly past, she just bought a pc so she could keep in touch. She is also encouraging me to go for the exact reason that i will begin to resent her if i miss out on this fantastic opportunity.

And another thing thats on my mind is what if she realises in the time apart that were not meant to be or she starts to like someone else?
She is a very outgoing and good looking girl and although i know she wouldnt cheat on me its always going to be in the back of my mind..

Why dont you write a little log to what you got up to each day (even if theres not very much in it) and ask your girlfriend to do the same and when you get back you can all catch up with all the news and read them together. Thats just my stupid romantic idea.

Black Swan

Can you take her with you? If not, then go and stay in touch daily on the Internet. Be her virtual tour guide over the web. Send her pictures and whatnot. Pick up things for her when overseas. Not expensive, but just the thought.

dame

Hi OP,

10 weeks, what's that? It's 2 1/2 months. That's nothing!!! Think of all the army personnel who go overseas for 6 months at a time. The vast majority of them have a significant other/spouse/kids etc. Sure some relationships break up but who knows the relationship wouldn't have finished anyway. To be honest I'd be worried if you didn't feel like you were going to miss your girlfriend of 3 years terribly. That's a completely normal and healthy way to feel. However, you have to live your life, take whatever great travel and other opportunities are open to you and just know that if the relationship is completely solid and you're meant to be together for the rest of your lives then you will be!

Go forth and enjoy, many people will be reading this in envy I'm sure - 10 weeks holiday in SE Asia!!!!

Ag marbh

My girlfriend is away for 7 weeks at the moment in S.E Asia. I'm the one left at home and we both miss each other quite a bit. She's enjoying herself and i'm happy for her to enjoy herself. I'm finding I have a bit of extra time to concentrate on some other things and it's def going to make us stronger. We'll be together just three years when she gets home too.

It would be foolish for you not to go. Buy a Thai sim card when you get over there and keep in touch via text, it costs nothing to text from Thailand and it's only costing me 15 cent to reply.

Ag marbh

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Can you take her with you? If not, then go and stay in touch daily on the Internet. Be her virtual tour guide over the web. Send her pictures and whatnot. Pick up things for her when overseas. Not expensive, but just the thought.

Come on now, let him have a holiday. Staying in touch daily over the internet? A text or two a day and a phone call every few days should be enough.

Ag marbh

Mrbrianmolko wrote:

Thanks for the replies, she cant come out during the 10 weeks and she wouldnt go even if she cud, shes loves being in Ireland and with her family!

Ye is suppose 10weeks is nothing and will fly past, she just bought a pc so she could keep in touch. She is also encouraging me to go for the exact reason that i will begin to resent her if i miss out on this fantastic opportunity.

And another thing thats on my mind is what if she realises in the time apart that were not meant to be or she starts to like someone else?
She is a very outgoing and good looking girl and although i know she wouldnt cheat on me its always going to be in the back of my mind..

As hurtful as it sounds/feels, if this happens well then it wasn't the strongest of relationships anyway. I'm the same, i'll get down about it and get awful images in my head of her with other people but I just have to tell myself thats stupid stuff and shes with me for a reason.

LegacyUser

Mrbrianmolko wrote:

she cant come out during the 10 weeks and she wouldnt go even if she cud, shes loves being in Ireland and with her family!

You have to go! especially if she's a homebird and doesn't like travelling away from family!!

Mrbrianmolko wrote:

And another thing thats on my mind is what if she realises in the time apart that were not meant to be or she starts to like someone else?
She is a very outgoing and good looking girl and although i know she wouldnt cheat on me its always going to be in the back of my mind..

If she does, then it wasn't meant to be! tell her you love her and you want her to wait for you - she probably will! And to be honest she has more reason to worry about you!! You're going to SE Asia (Thailand I assume) where a single guy can get into a lot of trouble and return with several notifiable diseases....

Go there, enjoy yourself, wear a condom, and remember - What Goes on tour Stays on tour!

Miss Fluff

Mrbrianmolko wrote:

10 weeks is a long long time.

No it's not

Beruthiel

Mrbrianmolko wrote:

She is a very outgoing and good looking girl and although i know she wouldnt cheat on me its always going to be in the back of my mind..

Couldn't she have the exact same thought in the back of her mind about you?
Time for some perspective, it's 10 weeks, not 10 months. Once you land in the first country it will be a roller coaster of fun, you will have no time for missing anyone. If you don't do this you will regret it till the day you die.
If your relationship cannot last 10 weeks apart, then it was never meant to be in the first place.
Go, have fun. It's a life changing experience.

incisor71

Get up and go.

If you bottle out now, you really don't know how long you'll have to wait for a similar opportunity to arise. If she's that much of a homebird, who's to say when she'll be ready - if ever - to travel with you?

But stay in touch. It's so much easier and cheaper to do so nowadays, and the feeling of loss from being away from home and from her will pass.

And if you do end up playing away from home, play safe. Don't let Nature take its course - playing away on holiday puts you in even more danger of nasty diseases than at home.

fuzzywiggle

If it doesn't feel right and you really feel as though you will miss her, thus leading to you not enjoying your trip, then don't go. Arrange it for next year and both go together for a while.

Ag marbh

fuzzywiggle wrote:

If it doesn't feel right and you really feel as though you will miss her, thus leading to you not enjoying your trip, then don't go. Arrange it for next year and both go together for a while.

And allow irrational thoughts to get the better of him? He will enjoy himself over there regardless, I've been twice and no matter what he will have the time of his life.

Miguel_Sanchez

fuzzywiggle wrote:

If it doesn't feel right and you really feel as though you will miss her, thus leading to you not enjoying your trip, then don't go. Arrange it for next year and both go together for a while.

The OP has stated that even if his girlfriend could get the time to go with him she wouldn't.

You should definitely go. Definitely. Definitely. Go. Go. Go. Go.

And, as the Butthole Surfers said, it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.

10 weeks isn't that long to be apart from someone if it's a solid relationship. And hey you'll have a lot of catching up to do when you get back which will definitely be enjoyable.

el tel

You will probably miss your girl at times when you are away (10 weeks is long enough and you are far away) but if you want to fully enjoy the full fun of this type of trip and to this kind of place you will have to keep these times as infrequent as possible. Where you are going casual sex, both free and paid, will surely help keep you occupied.

Miguel_Sanchez

el tel wrote:

Where you are going casual sex, both free and paid, will surely help keep you occupied.

Disregard. Disregard.

LegacyUser

I was in your girlfriend's situation this time last year - I would have loved to have gone with my boyfriend of three years but had not the money. I encouraged him to go, but was really fed up when I did not hear from him for a week and a half. I don't think the relationship will ever recover from that, without contact you start wondering what your other half is up to! He went to Germany for the world cup this year with his mates and I think it was the last straw

I agree with the other posters who suggest buying a Thai sim card, keeping a log etc. You will find some lovely (and inexpensive) presents for her over there that show you are thinking of her. Maybe send something in the post in the first couple of weeks so she gets it while you are away.

Ag marbh

Sarah789 wrote:

I was in your girlfriend's situation this time last year - I would have loved to have gone with my boyfriend of three years but had not the money. I encouraged him to go, but was really fed up when I did not hear from him for a week and a half. I don't think the relationship will ever recover from that, without contact you start wondering what your other half is up to! He went to Germany for the world cup this year with his mates and I think it was the last straw

I agree with the other posters who suggest buying a Thai sim card, keeping a log etc. You will find some lovely (and inexpensive) presents for her over there that show you are thinking of her. Maybe send something in the post in the first couple of weeks so she gets it while you are away.

Not texting for a week and a half is ripping the piss really. I probably get about 4 texts a day from my girlfriend and always makes sure to text me before she sleeps so that I know shes safe. If you can do that then it can be alot less painful. If I didn't hear from my girlfriend for 2 days i'd be freaking out with images of her being with other people.

Elessar

Ag marbh wrote:

Not texting for a week and a half is ripping the piss really. I probably get about 4 texts a day from my girlfriend and always makes sure to text me before she sleeps so that I know shes safe. If you can do that then it can be alot less painful. If I didn't hear from my girlfriend for 2 days i'd be freaking out with images of her being with other people.

Wow, you are unbelievably dependent.

Go, enjoy yourself. Don't keep thinking of her, call her a few times a week. If you have her in mind all the time, assuming you are close, it'll ruin your holiday. And if she freaks out like that guy above if you dont contact her several times a day then frankly she's not worth being with (and probably needs to see a therapist).

LegacyUser

You HAVE to!!!!

Speaking from experience here...was with a guy for nearly 10 years, talked about travelling together for about 7 of them. Finally he decided he didn't want to go - broke my heart but I had to go, so off I went. Turned out to be a not so happy ending but almost one year on...I am happier than I have been in years. Travelling kicks ass - if you wanna go just go. You WILL regret it otherwise.