Death of a pet

Clár

I had a cat that my family had since I was 9 I am now 23, my Dad found her in a skip in work in a bag with all her dead siblings. She died of a stroke yesterday, I am totally devasted, I keep bursting into tears in work like a fool. I saw that cat every day for 13 years and she slept with me every nite, its so bloody terrible. I know she had a good long life and I am relieved her suffering is over as she got very slow and sick towards the end but I am gonna miss her so bloody much.

I am embarrased to tell people why im so upset, one person consolled me and said she understood another person sniggered making me feel like a fool.

Would you understand someone being totally and utterly grief stricken by an animal dying or would you be someone who sniggers? I suppose its to do with if your an animal person really..

Tengu

I really feel for you, my girlfriend and I only recently lost our 2 lovely cats within a month of each other and we too knew them from little kitties, we were both utterly devastated, I was in work when my girlfriend phoned me from the vet when our last cat passed away and it doubled me up in grief right there and then, you are absolutely justified in feeling this strong over such a loss, ignore the idiot who sniggered at you, when you make a connection to a living thing no matter what it is it becomes a part of you and your family, we both considered our cats as members of our family, you should
see as many friends as possible to console you, the grief that chokes you know will pass in time, you will never forget your little pet and should always look back with love and joy at the gift of having such a lovely creature, its still hard sometimes for both of us to look back but we really feel blessed we knew our cats and we know that we did everything we could to make them happy, god bless you and stay strong

BoozyBabe

Well, I'm not an animal person at all, never have been, never will be, but I understand that some people are, so I'd NEVER snigger.

To some people, the animal is just another family member, every bit as important.
Would they cry if a parent / sibling passed away, of course they would, & for them a pet dying is no different.

I guess you're one of those people.

I'm very sorry to hear your friend passed away.
I know you can never replace her, but she leaves room for you help another cat, if you want.
You could rescue one from a pet shelter & give them all the love they'd never receive otherwise.
Perhaps that would ease your pain a bit????

best of luck

Funsterdelux

We have a border collie at home, had her since '92, shes what 14 now, last year around Feburary she had a stroke in her right side, was away in college at the time and got a call from my sister saying that they were giving her a few more hours b4 theyd call for the vet (put to sleep), a few jammy dodges latter she was came back to us, so to speak, she couldnt walk for a few days, now shes back to her old self, shes no greyhound though.
Anyway when I heard that news I was a bundle of nerves, was so relieved when she was ok, it give me a glimpse into what the OP is feeling.
She is a member of the family and always will be.

Miss Fluff

You poor thing. I lost my little cat Tiger Lily a few years ago, she was knocked down and my whole family were devastated. My Dad buried her, he was terribly upset. My Mum phoned my brothers and I to break the bad news and to say we were all completely grief-stricken is an understatement. My brothers are big lads and they cried a lot over her as did I. All I can say is that people sometimes underestimate the love you can have for an animal. They have obviously never loved a pet or they would understand. 14 years is a long time to have a pet in your life so of course there is going to be an absence there. Try and focus on the good stuff though, the joy she brought you and the happy memories with her. You can't replace her obviously but maybe think about getting another cat when you are ready. My folks got two kittens about a year after Tiger Lily died and they have brought immense joy (and hilarity!!:) ) since. Take Care;)

Clár

Thanks you all for your kind words, it is nice to know people can understand just why im so upset.

Tengu im sorry to hear of your loss, my family gave Delaney the best life she could ever have hope for. Because of the really crap start in life she had we treated her like a princess and boy god she really was the queen of our castle. She is going to be sorely missed by all my family for years to some, forever in fact.

We have 2 young cats left now that we got a year ago and seeing them running round the place like nutters is helping us. We wont get any more cats now as it wont be long till its just my Dad in the house on his own with them. No cat will ever replace Delaney she was such a gem.

I've had my dog, Sammy, since the age of 7/8. I'm 21 now. He's been knocked down a total of 5 times, one of which resulted in him loosing a back leg. Recently we had to get him neutered, or else he faced contracting prostate cancer. Also, he has slowly but surely gone deaf.

I am trying to prepare myself for when he eventually does pass, and I know this is going to effect my mother alot.

People who haven't had pets (especially long term ones) don't understand that losing a pet is like losing a sibling in some cases. You grow so connected to them, and them to you. I'm sorry for your loss, it is a hard one to cope with.

Manny7

I'm so sorry for your loss; BoozyBabe is right, it's like a family member passing away. It took me a while to get over my cat dying two years ago; we found her in a similiar situation to your one, the best thing to do is think about the life you gave to her. You gave her 14 years of happiness she would never have had otherwise. Perhaps in the future you can help another cat to have a life like your pet did. As for the person who sniggered, screw em, they've obviously never experienced the happiness and joy a pet can bring.

fuzzywiggle

I was in the same situation a while back. I got my cat when I was 4. She had cancer and died when I was 18. We had to put her to sleep. I was inconsolable. She slept with me every night too and she was a true pet. She was so loyal to me and always wanted to be with me. A member of the family. I cried for days leading up to and after her death. I really was bad and I got so depressed over it. I had dreams about her every night. If anyone had sniggered at me I would have felt angry. The person that did that to you is obviously thoughtless and inconsiderate. Some people just don't get it. Especially if they have an animal that they don't really care for. They think ''that one must be mad!''. It's hard. Stupid I know, but I'll never forget stroking her head as she rested it on my hand when she was being put to sleep. I was in floods. Anyway it gets easier as time goes by. It's difficult at first though. You're not being a fool by crying. It's human. I'm really sorry for your loss

Clár

Thankfully I have not had to deal with death much in my life, I think thats why I dont know how I should be feeling. I knwo now that my tears are totally justified and I know in time it will get easier, just at the minute I feel like I will never get over it.

I kinda feel guilty that I did not get this upset for my grandad last year, but as you are all saying she is a family member after all, a very loving and loyal one at that. I think because I saw her every day and my Grandad only occasionally thats why this is effecting me so much more than his death.

It seems that a lot of people on here have had a similar situation to me, it is very sad to hear but also very comforting knowing it happens to most people. God I wish animals lived a longer life!

Alessandra

I am an animal lover but pleas have some perspective op! I lost my granny who lived at home with me then one week later an exceptionally close person in my family died tragically young. Then the family dog(much as she was loved, adored and spoiled) died two weeks later, didnt really compare to be honest. I would never compare a pet to a sibling and I love animals!!! Plenty more pets out there but you cant replace a human...

Manny7

I think they're different situations Alessandra, Clar pointed out that she only saw her grandad occasionally whereas you say your granny lived at home with you. I know I was more upset by the cat that I grew up with dying than I was about my grandad who I saw once or twice a year passing away (sorry grandad). I'd agree about pets not being comparable with a sibling, but I think long-term pets and grandparents are a pretty good comparison.

Lexie

No Alessandra, thats your opinion.

Pets can become a huge part of your life. My dog means the world to me. Hand reared from 3 weeks old. I thought I was gonna lose her last year and I cried non stop for days (2 big swollen eyes). Fortunately she got better.

My granny, who I was very close to died 2 years ago and to be honest the sadness and grief I felt was much the same.

I guess grief affects us all differently!

hallelujah

Perfectly understandable to feel sad. Ignore anyone who says otherwise.

incisor71

I can vouch for that level of grief. Three years back, the time had come to have our 16yo Lhasa Apso dog, Homer, humanely put down, as he was losing control of his faculties, his leg and torso muscles were wasting away, he had gone deaf and was going blind. We'd had him since he was 6 weeks old.

To me it's the memories of the interaction with the pet that trigger the most grief - the knowing that you won't have them again. The one that sticks out most is that of him always wanting to be in the middle of the action. When our parents moved into what is now our previous residence, we had a game of riding down the uncarpeted stairs on a mattress. Homer invariably jumped on to the mattress to join the gang , even though the claw holes in it afterwards gave away his level of terror.

Peaadina

Clár,
Im so sorry for your loss. I totally understand your pain. An Animal loves you unconditionally, they are always welcoming every evening and are comforting to have around.
My dog was knocked down 2 years ago, Id had him since he was born (in the garage) 10yrs before hand. He was a massive part of my family, and indeed my community. He went to all the local rugby games with my dad and alot of people actually sympathised when he was killed.
I cried for days. I really did. Sometimes I get choked up now when I think of when he was brought home.
It was terrible.
My sister had a dog that needed a home he was only 4 months old, mad as a hatter, and if we didnt take him, well hed no where else to go.
So I talked my parents into taking him after 3 months - not to replace the other dog, but to help them move on.
And he did just that, hes a completely different animal and we never forget our old dog but I honestly believe having the new dog made it ok to let go of our old dog.

As for comparing losing a reletive to loosing a pet. It depends on your relationship with both.
You cannot compare them.

Hope you feel better in time

Clár

In fairness Allesandra, my cat was there for me to shed (many) a tear on when I was dumped by mates/men wotever or when I was sick or down. She was always loyal and always without fail there for me when i needed her.

Your Gran was a massive part of your life, my grandad was generally an old fart who was homophobic, racist and burned holes in my sofa every Sunday with his poxy cigarettes so thats why i feel the way i do.

I am not saying I would feel more grief for my cat than I would for a human I have strong feelings for, I just have stronger feelings for my cat than my Grandad who was never there for me, thats all..

Clár

As for comparing losing a reletive to loosing a pet. It depends on your relationship with both.
You cannot compare them.

Hope you feel better in time[/QUOTE]

Thanks Peaadina you hit the nail on the head with what you said above, I was saying the very same thing at the same time

When I speak to mates who I have spoken to in a while they always ask for my cats, thats wot a big part of my family they are, well were sadly now..

I had another cat a big fecker called KC (we got him the year Kurt Cobain died), i did not like that cat at all as he was not affectionate and really stupid. Anyway, i cried when he died but I was more upset for my family members than I was that I would never see him again.

I am such a big softie when it comes to animals, i think its because they are so defencless.

Peaadina

You sound v.like me, I used to cry at the Zoo! I cannot watch animal cruelty adds.
I feel so much for animals, -not that I dont for Humans, but Animals cant talk!
They need a voice, altho Im not a nutter animal rights person either!!

Painful and all as loosing a loved pet is, dont let that pain ruin another potenial pets happiness whenever you're ready you should adopt another cat!!

I never felt as much of a strong bond to any of our other pets as I did to rebel. But after he was killed, I spend more time with Alfie (new Dog) as I had always taken Rebel for granted, you know not always playing with him ah sure I will tomorrow kind of attitude. I regret that but I cant make that up to him only thru the new dog!
It sounds strange to those who havent experienced it, but then I wasnt close to any of my grandparents so when people talk about having a deep relationship with a grandparent I have nothing to compare it to!

You will feel better in time, but its really ok to be sad, you will meet people who will tell you to get a grip, dont mind them that cat was more of a person to you than alot of other people so its normal to feel her loss as greatly as you do.
My dad still gets choked up about Rebel, even now as he blames himself for it! and hes a 60yr old man whos lost sisters, best friends. Its not comparable!
PM me if you want to talk about it r whatever

Chucky the tree

How long do cats normally live for?

Huggles

Hi OP really sorry to hear that and I completly understand how you feel. I have had several dogs die over the last ten years. They where all my best friends and I knew them inside out and for awhile I had a huge hole left in my life. Its very hard but it will get better.

marie_85

OP, I know exactly how you feel. My dog, a springer spaniel got put down at the end of May because of cancer. I've had her since my twelfth birthday and I was inconsolable when my mam rang me at work to tell me.

I'm actually crying now thinking about her. For anyone who doesn't have pets its hard to understand but she was a member of the family. She meant the world to me. In time it does get easier though. And its helped me being around my friends and families dogs.

Faith

IMO, pets are almost better than human friends in some ways, and I'd be devastated if my cat died.

My 15 year old dog had to be put down a couple of years back, and I couldn't stop crying. I still cry every so often now, when I think of him.

I can totally empathise, OP.

Ruu_Old

Sorry to hear about your pet. I guess it effects people in different ways and others are not as serious about their pets being family or whatever. I am an animal person and we had many deaths to deal with since I was a child (we had a lot of dogs at home and other pets).