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  • 08-07-2006 9:00am
    #1
    Matt Holck
    Registered Users Posts: 9,706 ✭✭✭


    The beggar sat under the shade agianst the wall with his knees up his holding elbows propping his head as he stared down. Everyone knew who he was whether they acknowledge him or not. Because they all walked by his squawt on their ways to and from work and during lunch. At these times, Troy would greet them or comment on their appearance or the news or the weather. Rather, anything to catch their attention hoping to catch coin in their apprehetion. And if he pointed to a partically cload and said by gosh if that isn't the spitting image on a fire engine, the pedestrian would carry the words like a contagion passing an explanation of the appiration to others further down the avenue. So it was no wonder that Troy pondered that he was the rightful owner of the city sidewalk.


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    #2
    Laplandman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 89 ✭✭Laplandman


    Terribly written & exploitative.


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    #3
    Odaise Gaelach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭Odaise Gaelach


    It isn't horrible, but your grammar needs to be tidied up. Work on your grammar first, then look over the piece a few times. Do this, and it could turn out to be a good bit of writing. :)


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