It doesn't have to be this way

Matt Holck

Everyone blind starring into the shine
Taste the bitter rind
Hoping to find beauty
Somber in duty

It’s doesn’t have to be this way
No need to suffer to bring the day
The sun will rise and bring its ray
You don’t have to lie

Everyone insists make example of the outcast
If cohesion is to last
Rewrite the broken past
Hoist your flag up on the mast

It’s doesn’t have to be this way
No need to suffer to bring the day
The sun will rise and bring its ray
You don’t have to lie

Everyone knows that evil comes and evil goes
They’re afraid to interpose
and turn the current so they chose
but everybody knows

It’s doesn’t have to be this way
No need to suffer to bring the day
The sun will rise and bring its ray
You don’t have to lie

© Matt Holck 7/2006

Odaise Gaelach

An anti-war poem, right?

It's a good poem, a nice lyrical poem. But on the first verse:

Everyone blind starring into the shine
Taste the bitter rind
Hoping to find beauty
Somber in duty

Most of the lines in the whole have four beats in them. It gives the poem a nice, lyrical quality. But the second and fourth lines only seem to have three beats in them.

Just put the extra beat into those two lines, and I think that it would complete the poem.

Nice job!

Matt Holck

Thank You
I didn't know where I was going when I started
and my minimalist tendency caught me short




Everyone's blind starring into the shine
extol upon the bitter rind
Each hoping to find beauty
Somber in sacred duty

It’s doesn’t have to be this way
No need to suffer to bring the day
The sun will rise and bring its ray
You don’t have to lie

Everyone insists make example of the outcast
If cohesion is to last
Rewrite the broken past
Hoist your flag up on the mast

It’s doesn’t have to be this way
No need to suffer to bring the day
The sun will rise and bring its ray
You don’t have to lie

Everyone knows that evil comes and evil goes
They’re afraid to interpose
and turn the current so they chose
but everybody knows

It’s doesn’t have to be this way
No need to suffer to bring the day
The sun will rise and bring its ray
You don’t have to lie

© Matt Holck 7/2006

Odaise Gaelach

Much better!