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Stop Playing The Victim

  • 04-07-2006 9:53am
    #1
    Wanttochange
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭


    Hi. I am a 24 year old girl and I really think my attitude to my problems and other people is really holding me back. Like the thread title says I get out of most situations by playing the victim. I have done things which were horrible and I always use the fact that I have suffered sexual assault to explain why I have done it.

    In fairness to myself I have had a situation where two other people have been bad mouthing me and doing their best to get other people to see what I am capable of. But part of what they are saying is true, I do lie to get people to feel sorry for me and I do always manage to make myself look like the victim. I can be just as manipulative as anyone else.

    I know what my problem is and where is lies but what I really want to know is should I tell the people I care about the truth. Im not sure what good it will do but I do feel that I will finally be able to move on even if it means I lose alot of good friends. Is it enough to admit this to myself and maybe my therapist or should I just come clean completely?


Comments

  • #2
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    you probably just need councelling, it'll help you.


  • #3
    Wanttochange
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭Wanttochange


    I am in counselling now and it has worked but I haven't admitted all this to someone so maybe its time to say it out loud.


  • #4
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    I would suggest you take your best friend, the person closest to you in real life and tell them. Make you apologies, say that you are sorry and see how they feel.

    These things are better done one step at a time...you need to give other people time to deal with what you will be telling them, because while you feel you are doing this for you, you are also doing it for them.


  • #5
    unklefiction
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55 ✭✭unklefiction


    If the people you aren't telling really do care about you and you think they could help with your getting better then I think you should tell them. Good friends are hard to find and they deserve the truth, if it is effecting your relationships. After all honesty is the best policy always.


  • #6
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,539 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Counseling is one way to deal with this. If I had something like this in my past, I doubt that I would tell people about it. Only exception might be someone you are deeply in love with, so that they might understand how you feel and think, and to be supportive should it depress you sometime.


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  • #7
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Wanttochange wrote:
    I am in counselling now and it has worked but I haven't admitted all this to someone so maybe its time to say it out loud.

    Start with your therapist, say the things you dread and fear to fact out loud with them there and work with them to change you apttern of behaviour.
    Well done at being in counselling in the first place and knowing that this behaviour is not good for you and those arround you, now just be brave enough to face it and then work to wards change.


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