Going away to college & leaving girlfriend at home..

LegacyUser

Hello everyone, I've just finished my Leaving Cert and could very well be going away to Cork or Limerick next year for college. I'm from Dublin and my girlfriend is only going into 6th year. The thought of this have been getting me so down over the last few days, I was looking forward to finishing the LC so I could spent my time with her so so much, and it's been amazing, but it's not until now that I realised that after this summer things are going to have to change. My first choice is in Dublin but I don't see me getting that, and I know deep down that if it's what I want to do I have to go away, no matter how hard it will be.

I love her so much and there's no way we'd break up if I go away (we've already talked about it a bit). She thinks that we'll just drift apart, me eventually not coming back for weekends or whatever and that will be the end of it. I know that I love her and like her so much that there's no way that would happen because i)I'd miss her too damn much and ii)I'd feel too bad for doing that to her.

Do you think this sort of thing can work? I think it can...but I'm mostly sad that the way we are now can only last for so long until things have to change and I won't see her nearly as much, only weekends. That's what's really getting me down.

Even for her it will be so hard, her stuck at home studying and me away in college studying/living with girls, going out every night or whatever. I dunno. I just wish the summer could last for ever...

daRobot

It's very tough to maintain long-distance relationships, but it can be done.

However, if I were in your shoes, i'd be enjoying my time with her now, and getting prepared to end it.You'll have a far better university experience if you've no ties or things you're missing back home.

Huggles

daRobot wrote:

It's very tough to maintain long-distance relationships, but it can be done.

However, if I were in your shoes, i'd be enjoying my time with her now, and getting prepared to end it.You'll have a far better university experience if you've no ties or things you're missing back home.

Yes I have to agree with this. Personally spaking your better off ending it as so many new and exciting things are ging to come your way in Uni and not being able to share it with your gf will drag you down. Its nicer for her if you break it off too tbh. She won't have the anguish of wondering what your up to, not that you'd be up to anything.

Nehpets

you could repeat

Ruu_Old

Keep your head up, OP. Long distance relationships can work if you want it bad enough. I went through something not too different and it worked out for us. Enjoy your time together, work hard and then think of the next time you'll be with each other again. Remember that it wont be together. I think you should sit down with your girl and talk about it, see if you both feel you guys are strong enough to deal with this. Good luck anyway.

LegacyUser

There's absolutely no way we're going to break up over it. We both like each other way too much to do that, and I know there's no way I'd enjoy college because I'd be destroyed over it. I don't even want to think about the fact that I might have to leave her in September. I was expecting there to be a few replies of "you're better off breaking up now", but to me thats the worst thing I could do.

There's a course I wouldn't mind doing that I should have gotten the points for in UCD, but I can't cop out like that.

#15

ive just finished a year of the exact same thing.
me in dublin, her in galway.
but the year went by really quick and now she has the leavin cert done. and she is comin to college in dublin.

if you really love each other, stick with it. it can work if you want it to. sometimes it will be hard, but seeing her every weekend will be the best thing ever for you.

if i was you, i wouldn't break up with her.

LegacyUser

The college year is very short.
It's Sept/Oct til June, with weeks if not months off in between, never mind w/e's.

Time will fly, things will change, see how it goes...

No point planning things too much... just go with the flow.

leeroybrown

I knew someone in college who used to make a five hour trip home (each way) almost every weekends to see his girlfriend. Now that was dedication.

See how it works out.

LegacyUser

similar position myself, in a long-term relationship, just finished the LC. she's staying at home and i've got a few options.

however i thought long and hard about it and i'm staying put. driving up to college and back daily. however it's only about 2hrs round trip.

not only will it save me money, it means things won't change so to speak relationship wise and if something ain't broke... no point in messing around with it.

don't be fooled by the bright lights of college parties and easy young women, if you're commited to this young lady then you have no reason to end it.

LegacyUser

im bout to have similar problem. me and my girlfriend going on 3 years now are about to be split by a 5 hour drive. I have 2 weeks before I leave and i plan on making sure it will work. dont give up if you love her

afkasurfjunkie

i met my boyf the summer i did my leaving cert. i got my points and went off to college. he worked at home but had no car. we still stayed together. when i finished college i went away to another town for work for 2 years. so for 5 years we only saw eachother for weekends and at holiday time.
you can come home at weekends. its only 5 days apart. you have mobile phones, its not like you wont talk to eachother during the week. if she does her schoolwork and study during the week it will keep her fairly busy and free up her weekends too. the year will fly by and maybe she will end up goin to college near you in a years' time.
its perfectly workable. however if halfway throughout the year you change your mind about her or meet somebody else well, you can cross that bridge when you come to it.
for now, enjoy your summer.

Maple

Zombie thread, locked.

Maple