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agghhh problems with boyfriend

  • 23-06-2006 2:29pm
    #1
    michelle_ie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 128 ✭✭


    hey everyone..i know im probably overreacting in writing this but anyway! im 19- 20 next month and im goin out with my first boyfriend since october. We have a good relationship and its our first intimate one for both of us. Anyway we had a rough few weeks with me resitting my leaving cert and blah blah anyway he wasnt as nice as usual and i was moody and stuff but then it all came to blows when i finished and he admitted he has fallen out of love with me and wants to start over so he can show to me that he deserves to be with me and that he needs to start treating me better and takin care of me more because he hasnt been doing that... i thought that was fair enough but in all honesty this whole i dont love you thing is really starting to get to me... we can have an amazing night and before he said it that much i didnt even notice but now he isnt sayin it there is like a big gap between us or something and it sounds stupid but the more he doesnt say it the more i question how i feel..
    I dont want to sound like a typical teenage drama queen but at the end of the day im almost 20 and i want to feel something between us thats mutual feeling and i dont want to spend another few months,years of my life not knowing if someone loves me or not??

    Am i reading too much into it?? should i just give him time to sort out his own feelings or should i just end it if he is so unsure???
    please give me your advice.
    thanks!


Comments

  • #2
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Don't get hung up on "being in love".

    Your only 20 and have all the time in the world to let your feelings sort themselves out. The important thing is that you can have fun with each, enjoy the physical part and get along really well and want to spend time together.

    Love will come if it's meant to be, not if either person forces it.

    For now i would say if he is treating you right then everything is all good.....i imagine his feelings will develop properly over time.


  • #3
    m_stan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,653 ✭✭✭m_stan


    michelle_ie wrote:
    ... he admitted he has fallen out of love with me and wants to start over so he can show to me that he deserves to be with me and that he needs to start treating me better and takin care of me more because he hasnt been doing that...


    So he has admitted he doesnt love you anymore and wants to start again so he can try to learn to love you again ? Is that what he meant ? TBH that doesn't sound good.

    If that is the way it is, I think the writing is on the wall. Maybe he's confused so maybe you should get him to clarify his feelings or even take a break for a few weeks (like REALLY take one - totally apart for a few weeks) so he can figure out what exactly he feels. Maybe he needs to be without you for a while to appreciate how much he DOES love you.

    Or maybe he HAS fallen out of love and to be straight with you, I don't think you can fall back in love after falling out.

    After that if he's still saying the same thing, I'd end it.

    Good luck either way.


  • #4
    michelle_ie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 128 ✭✭michelle_ie


    m_stan wrote:
    So he has admitted he doesnt love you anymore and wants to start again so he can try to learn to love you again ? Is that what he meant ? TBH that doesn't sound good.

    If that is the way it is, I think the writing is on the wall. Maybe he's confused so maybe you should get him to clarify his feelings or even take a break for a few weeks (like REALLY take one - totally apart for a few weeks) so he can figure out what exactly he feels. Maybe he needs to be without you for a while to appreciate how much he DOES love you.

    Or maybe he HAS fallen out of love and to be straight with you, I don't think you can fall back in love after falling out.

    After that if he's still saying the same thing, I'd end it.

    Good luck either way.


    He says that he knows by a feeling he gets and apparantly that feeling is coming back... like anytime i say i love him he says i love you too... maybe.
    then last night he said "i cant live without you" And i was like well its not the same then and he was like "well maybe it is cause i think it is"??


  • #5
    m_stan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,653 ✭✭✭m_stan


    Those coming and going feelings don't make too much sense - he sounds like a confused and insecure little chappy. either that or he's looking for your attention for some reason.

    I agree with Dragan - you should concentrate on having fun and see if that cops him on. Maybe try to avoid the deep and meaningul conversations and just have a laugh. See where that take you.


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