How did you know?

LegacyUser

Hey,

I've decided to go unreg for this because I don't want anyone I know to read this, I don't think I'm ready. Plus.. I'm kind of confused at the mo so... anyways..

I think I'm bisexual. But I'm really not sure. I've fancied female celebs and stuff but I've never actually been attracted to someone I've met 'in the flesh' if you know what I mean. I've been sort of curious for a while. I told my friend last night and I don't think I did the right thing. She said she was fine with it but I get the feeling I freaked her out. I really don't want her to be uncomfortable around me. I think it was a mistake to tell her.. Being honest, I don't really know if I'm comfortable with it myself so I can't really blame her. My question is really... how did you know? And when?

Please help if you can, I'd really really really appreciate it.

Thanks,

- xx

snappieT

Honestly... and I'm not proud of this method:

Got curious as I hit puberty and started looking at porn. Realised I was looking at the guys rather than the girls, that lesbian porn did nothing for me, and that watching fellatio was a much better turn on that watching cunnilingus.

What makes you think you're into guys?

shay_562

My question is really... how did you know? And when?

About 13-14, I realised I had a crush on one of the guys in my year at school. I've gotta say, depending on your age (I'm not gone on the idea of encouraging someone too young to be looking up internet porn, could end badly), snappie-T's method actually sounds like your best bet - see if you're physically attracted to men, or women, or both.

azezil

I remember the first time I started "dreaming" about guys, I was 15, it totally freaked me out, denyed it to myself, used to buy play boy and look at women, trying to convince myself I was attracted to women!

It wasn't easy, but like snappy there I found, while looking at porn I was looking more at the guys than the women, as the years went on I started to sneak peaks at gay porn, that went on for a couple of years till eventually at 22 I said feck it, I'm gay... well actually I said I was bi and later gay

spurious

Without knowing what sexual experiences you have had to date, your dreaming about female celebrities might just be fantasy stuff - and that's fine...being straight doesn't make you blind. There are many attractive women out there. Finding them nice to look at does not make you gay.

If you have had a sexual experience with a guy you need to ask yourself how you felt during it - did it feel right for you?

Don't worry about your friend's reaction - if she's 'freaked out' that's her problem, not yours.

You might take a visit to belong2 some week and see how you feel discussing these things with others your age. I always knew there was something different about me and knew for sure I was gay at 12 or so.

rainbow kirby

I first thought about girls in *that* way when I was about 16, and it scared the crap out of me! I spent pretty much the next 5 years trying to convince myself "No, you're completely straight, you don't like girls." Finally, about 6 months ago, I said to myself "Who are we kidding?", and I came out as bi to my friends about 2 months ago at age 21.

nobodyshome

Yeah, this confuses me too

Like, I've always liked girls, but then I started to like guys

And now, its all over the shop

I defo like guys, but confused with girls, cos I dont like girls as much as I like guys, but I dont NOT like girls

And if i'm meetin a bird i get "happy in pants", and lesbo porn does somethin!

I've never even kissed a guy but that doesnt make a difference


I dunno, atm I consider myself Bi, but I thinks its cos I havent had any exp with guys, BUT, at the same time, theres way more left for me to do with girls. Its all over the place!

Hellip!

Stephanos

nobodyshome wrote:

I dunno, atm I consider myself Bi, but I thinks its cos I havent had any exp with guys, BUT, at the same time, theres way more left for me to do with girls. Its all over the place!

Hellip!

You don't have to give up girls! Why don't you just go and try something with a guy?

nobodyshome

Yeah, dat pisses me off abt films

How come when a guy is straight, then gets it on with another guy, he turns gay. Just cos ye like guys doesnt mean ye dont like girls anymore, or does it?

UU

Well I sorta fell into homosexuality. Basically, I just never felt attracted to females but to other fellas. For that reason I've never really gone out with girls before but have "met" a few. Sexuality is a weird thing though. I don't think many people are completely straight or completely gay. Many of us are all a bit bisexual. I would like to have an experience with a female just to see what it's like. I've had a couple of experiences with fellas and they all turned me on in different degrees. Porn generally does nothing for me - both straight and gay. I both equally disgusting, sleezy and a waste of time. I'm more emotionally attracted to other people rather than physically. Quite a feminine attribute actually.

My advice to the OP is just to explore your sexuality. Don't be scared to try it with both men and women. Many straight men and women have had the once off with both genders just to see what it's like (and gays, lesbians and bisexuals too). Fall for the person who you're most attracted to, not their gender. And be proud of who you are and your sexual orientation - don't let anyone put you down because you have the right to fancy anyone you damn well like. Good luck!

Goodshape

Looks like I went the same sort of route as Kirby and azezil... found myself taking an interest around 14 or so (or whenever these sort of things kick in.. everyone else was looking at the girls, I couldn't help but take a glance elsewhere) and it took me another six or seven years to become in anyway comfortable with that.

Sort of regret not coming to terms with it sooner - I ended up becoming a bit uptight about anything sexual in my late teens, which was never something I intended. Should have relaxed, let my imagination loose (well, a bit at least ) and had fun with it.

Living in a small 'everyone-knows-you-and-your-family' town for most of this time didn't help much either [/excuses].

rainbow kirby

UU wrote:

And be proud of who you are and your sexual orientation - don't let anyone put you down because you have the right to fancy anyone you damn well like.

QFT

LegacyUser

As a very young man, I started off principally attracted to girls - earliest sexual memories focussed on breasts etc, but as I grew older (age 18/19) I began to be intrigued and interested in the male nude, especially the penis. This developed through my twenties and though I was only dating women and eventually married, more of my fantasies involved men as well as women. I was at the ripe old age of 32 before I managed to actually suck a guy's cock and I was 37 before I lost my 'virginity'.

I'm now 41 and separated and regularly cruise for gay sex which I enjoy. I'm also in a hetero relationship, and though she knows of my sexuality, she doesn't know I cruise (I stay safe...).

I consider myself bisexual but only since the day I actually kissed a guy - that's where I think the 'line' is. There a re plenty of bicurious married guys out there who are flexible enough to suck another guys cock, but can't handle the idea of kissing another guy - it's just too intimate maybe?!

So if you ask me how did i know i was bi, I'd say because I enjoy KISSING both sexes...

nobodyshome

Heterosexual
Bisexual
Homosexual


Also, do you enjoy sex with women? And why are you in a relationship if you have to go "cruisin" ?

LegacyUser

nobodyshome wrote:

Heterosexual
Bisexual
Homosexual


Also, do you enjoy sex with women? And why are you in a relationship if you have to go "cruisin" ?

Yeah, I love sex with women too, but it's totally different to sex with a man. I don't have to go cruisin' and might not do so for months at a time, but sometimes I just feel like sucking a cock...

Shellie13

to the op-dont fret over definitions-enjoy your youth...if you fall for someone enjoy it dont worry about labelling yourself just let things happen naturally as they will if you can relax with yourself!

ecdl07

Well I was about 12. All my friends were on about sexy girls! Then I went into secondry school and puberty hit! Then I started to feel attracted to a guy in my class! Then a new PE teacher came to the school! I can remember one very funny incident I was trying to run and I got a hug bonner! Then I kind of knew that something was wrong! I gave up doing PE because I it uset always happen to me in his classses

rainbow kirby

It's a little sad that you feel the need to describe it as something wrong...

david_the_great

snappieT wrote: »

Honestly... and I'm not proud of this method:

Got curious as I hit puberty and started looking at porn. Realised I was looking at the guys rather than the girls, that lesbian porn did nothing for me, and that watching fellatio was a much better turn on that watching cunnilingus.

What makes you think you're into guys?

ha same

KnifeWRENCH

nobodyshome wrote: »

I dunno, atm I consider myself Bi, but I thinks its cos I havent had any exp with guys, BUT, at the same time, theres way more left for me to do with girls. Its all over the place!

Hellip!

I'm in the same boat as you. I sometimes think I'm bi, then I think "No, you're straight" and then think "Wait - maybe you're gay?" It kinda goes in circles.

I don't know what I am tbh and have no idea when I'll find out for sure. (Unfortunately I don't have much experience with girls and zero experience with guys due to shyness and general unattractiveness.)

rainbow kirby

square_igloo wrote: »

I don't know what I am tbh and have no idea when I'll find out for sure.

Just go with the flow! It took me a long time to be able to put a definitive label to myself, so don't be in any rush.