How to meet somebody new

randomman

I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 5 years last December and finally feel like I am ready for a new relationship. Thing is I am a quiet person until I get to know & trust other people and dont feel comfortable with the whole chatting up process in bars and nightclubs also all of my friends are hooked up with people and when I go out with them they dont mix with other people and dont get the opportunity to meet many new people. My job keeps me busy so along with the gym and getting back home some weekends dont really have time to join clubs societies or classes or anything like that. So dont really get the opportunity to meet somebody new and anytime I do tend to let it pass. Just wondering if anyone can give advice on the best way to meet somebody new without resorting to dating websites as I dont really trust these..

smash

randomman wrote:

I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 5 years last December and finally feel like I am ready for a new relationship. Thing is I am a quiet person until I get to know & trust other people and dont feel comfortable with the whole chatting up process in bars and nightclubs also all of my friends are hooked up with people and when I go out with them they dont mix with other people and dont get the opportunity to meet many new people. My job keeps me busy so along with the gym and getting back home some weekends dont really have time to join clubs societies or classes or anything like that. So dont really get the opportunity to meet somebody new and anytime I do tend to let it pass. Just wondering if anyone can give advice on the best way to meet somebody new without resorting to dating websites as I dont really trust these..

??? change job, move to a large company with a lot of staff? lots of new people there... or change gym, meet new people and the new one!

hullaballoo

You were going out with someone for five years. You broke up six months ago. You are not ready for another relationship.

BoozyBabe

hullaballoo wrote:

You were going out with someone for five years. You broke up six months ago. You are not ready for another relationship.

There is no specified time frame on which you have to wait before you're 'ready'

He's ready when he feels ready!!

I also broke up with my ex bf of 5 years last October. I started dating my current bf 1 month later.
Things are going really well for us. I haven't been happier.

I'd have gained nothing by waiting all these months before dating my current bf, just because I hadn't spent the required amt of time alone.

OP, I don't actually have advice for you on how to meet people I'm afraid, maybe try to encourage your friends to open up a bit to strangers on nights out, to help widen your circle of friends or something.

But don't let someone who doesn't know you tell you you're not ready to move on. You know yourself when you are.

Best of luck

muppetkiller

Taxi ranks on Monday morning That's where I meet them hehe

smash

maybe BoozyBabe & randomman should hook up....

38141

How did you meet your current bf Boozybabe? Maybe that would be instructive for the OP

NeVeR

What about online dating sites?

You can get to know someone before you meet them.... or just get to know them you dont have to meet them at all.

try www.anotherfriend.com or www.maybefriends.com

Miss Fluff

How do you get on with your workmates? Normally company nights out are quite a good way of meeting new people. Try and expand your social circle if your can. More people you meet the more opportunites present themselves!!;)

shinners007

since you go to the gym why not look around get chatting to people make some new friends and head out on a session with em they'll prob introduce you to new people.

DubNside

In the same situation as you m8, broke up just over a month ago.
The ex is already with another guy although its a long distance thing.

All I can say is try and hook up with a buddy who is single, even if your not great mates at least its something.

Dunno about dating sites, i think they are all a bit of a laugh really.

newestUser

shinners007 wrote:

since you go to the gym why not look around get chatting to people make some new friends and head out on a session with em they'll prob introduce you to new people.

Seriously...wtf?

I don't engage in chit-chat with strangers in the gym. Ever. I would never see the gym as somewhere you could make friends. Why do people suggest the gym as a place to meet people? I'd only chat to people I know from some place else in the gym, and I assume that's the same for everyone else. Am I missing something here?

randomman

well thx for all of the replies even if they were about as useful as t*ts on a bull re the whole ready for another relnship thing, maybe I am maybe not but she has moved on and even if I'm not, surely the best way to get over one is to get under another lol (have done the one night stand thing and am interested in something more regular at this stage)..

BoozyBabe

steve06 wrote:

maybe BoozyBabe & randomman should hook up....

Erm, no steve06, I'm seeing someone.................:rolleyes:

38141 wrote:

How did you meet your current bf Boozybabe? Maybe that would be instructive for the OP

Afraid not, the current bf is almost a life long friend. We just eventually got together, so sorry OP, can't help you there either.

Not meaning to sound harsh or anything, but can't you make time?????
If it means that much to you, surely you're going to have to.

I mean, your dream girl isn't just going to arrive to your house some night (well unless you've paid her or something:p )

If you're not meeting people at the gym, thn cut back on it & make time for some other hobby with more opportunities for interracting with people, don't go home as often & take up more stuff at weekends.

Basically you have to get yourself out & about more in order to meet more people, & yes, if your current friends are a closed circle, do your best to make a new circle of friends who are on the look out for partners etc...

Epicpriest

Go out on the P*ss 4 nights a week in a busy place. And attack the hot barmaids. Hit them up with compliments and eventually they will get used to you. Then you can hit them on the head with something and bring them to your cave!.

No but seriously, you need to make time for this stuff. The gym is for what? Making you look better? or feel better? Go for a 40 min run, then get a shower and go out or something.

Dragan

Yeah, I used to be quite shy to…. You can work on that, I know I did. Just remember that when you are out, no one knows you, and as long as you are a good guy who is treating his fellow pub and club goes with manners you should come across as a cool guy.

My generally frame of mind is that it does not matter if I go out with lots of people with girlfriends etc… all I need to do is be in a pub. Most girls are pretty sound once you choose the right ones to talk to, and despite common consensus non of them seem to have a particular aversion to being chatted up once you don't wait in with bad lines and "can i buy you a drink"…..generally speaking don't go for girls who are :

A) Very drunk……that’s just wrong!
Hanging out with a group of guys…….generally speaking one of the guys in there group will want to get with her and that can lead to problems.
C) Loud - I might be wrong on this, and it is just my opinion but I have found that girls who are overly loud in pubs are not my kind of girl, it's normally just an attention seeking thing.

AOR

Dragan wrote:

Loud - I might be wrong on this, and it is just my opinion but I have found that girls who are overly loud in pubs are not my kind of girl, it's normally just an attention seeking thing.

no your not wrong, avoid wreck-the-heads!

Zebra3

OP,

Are you living in Dublin but heading back to a small country town each weekend?

If so stay up for a weekend and go out for a few drinks with someone with work. Better odds in a biggir city?

Buddy74

I have the same issue meeting someone. I tried www.speeddater.ie the first one was brilliant things didn't work out because of my own mistakes. I ended up going 9 months later that was dreadful. So long & short don't think you're going to meet a 'mate' but you will meet people in the same boat. And it's is a laugh just to meet 20 different people in the one nite!

Black Swan

Hi Randomman!
No offense, but it sounds like you are in a rut and cannot break out? You've got to start thinking different. You've told us that you don't have time for some of the best hook up spots (social groups/clubs on weekends), so are you really ready for a new relationship? I wonder? If it's important to you, you will get "unbusy" and make time. Relationships take a lot of time to grow and develop into meaningful ones. If you don't have the time, then you are not ready for one!

noeleenred

Why dont you and some of the other single guys on this site all meet up and go out together. You never know but you might get on really well. If you can get a few people, you could have a great night and it could become a regular thing.

Funsterdelux

noeleenred wrote:

Why dont you and some of the other single guys on this site all meet up and go out together. You never know but you might get on really well. If you can get a few people, you could have a great night and it could become a regular thing.

By god, thats an idea, and yis cant call yourselfs by your real names, yis have to use your usernames.:D

chuckles30

I'd say try the internet - as someone else mentioned anotherfriend or maybefriends - they're both good and plenty of genuine people. Of course there's a few only there for the laugh, but there are lots of genuine people too. There's a lot more people using it than you might think, as I'm sure there are lots of people who would never admit it or admit where they met.