Funny Replies to Everyday Conversation Thread

JohnnySideburns

Hi,

I thought it would a good idea if we all pool our resources to draw a definitive list of funny replies to everyday conversation. Please see below examples:

If someone says "You wouldn't hit a woman would you?", you can reply "Only if she asked me too!!"

If Johnny says "Jaysis lads, it's very warm in here today", you can reply "Johnny rehearsing for his next gay porn movie".

If someone says "How do you feel", you can reply "I get my hands and I go like that (moving your hands in a feeling a woman up sequence).

If someone mentions someone who is dyslexic, you can sing "Old McDonald was dyslexic, I-E-I-O-E".

etc etc

PLEASE ONLY REPLY IF YOU HAVE A GOOD LINE TO POST. I DON'T WANT JOKES OR COMMENTS!!!!

Zapp Brannigan

If someone says "Gee, this thread sucks", you can reply "It does, it really really does!"

Pompey Magnus

If someone says: "Man, this weather is trippy", you should reply "No, man, it's not the weather that is trippy. Perhaps it is the way we perceive it that is indeed trippy."

Oriel

That's quite sad to be frank.
"Hey guys, I don't have a personality, can I borrow yours!?"

Zapp Brannigan

Depeche_Mode wrote:

If someone says: "Man, this weather is trippy", you should reply "No, man, it's not the weather that is trippy. Perhaps it is the way we perceive it that is indeed trippy."

I like it

EWheelChair

This is the sort of lame thread only a northerner would start.

dinjo

Slurms wrote:

If someone says "Gee, this thread sucks", you can reply "It does, it really really does!"

ha ha ha ha ha ha brilliant !

Steoob

EWheelChair wrote:

This is the sort of lame thread only a northerner would start.

uh...oh...

Crash

EWheelChair wrote:

This is the sort of lame thread only a northerner would start.

Thats the best oen so far!

fuzzywiggle

Slurms wrote:

If someone says "Gee, this thread sucks", you can reply "It does, it really really does!"

Only thing that made me laugh in this thread.

Oh and since when does ''You wouldn't hit a woman would you?'' come up in everyday conversations?:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Mr.D.Leprachaun

Maybe it does up North.

The Yipper

Guy to girl in night club: "Would you like to dance?"

Girl:"Not if you were the last guy on earth"

Guy to girl: "Oh! I'm sorry, you must have mis-heard me, what I actually said was, you look really fat in that top"

......walks away, pride slightly dented, but with a smug look of contentment on his face.

grimsbymatt

The Yipper wrote:

Guy to girl in night club: "Would you like to dance?"

Girl:"Not if you were the last guy on earth"

Guy to girl: "Oh! I'm sorry, you must have mis-heard me, what I actually said was, you look really fat in that top"

......walks away, pride slightly dented, but with a smug look of contentment on his face.

The response is supposed to be 'you look fat in those pants', so it rhymes with 'dance'.

Táck

grimsbymatt wrote:

The response is supposed to be 'you look fat in those pants', so it rhymes with 'dance'.

ha ha ha now THAT was funny

Capt'n Midnight

nah - it's much better when you aren't pretending

JohnnySideburns wrote:

I DON'T WANT JOKES OR COMMENTS!!!!

and yet you posted in the Humour forum ... interesting

you really, really should try http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=483

<oh crap I made a comment /me trembles>

Reganio 2

You go up to a girl and say "You really want to get with me don't you" more often than not she repiles "No" and so you say "So how long have you been a lesbian".:D

Thank you, Thank you

Táck

sh1te

Reganio 2

^^ You must be a lesbian......Now do you get the idea.

Surrender

EWheelChair wrote:

This is the sort of lame thread only a northerner would start.

Amadán den scoith

Hogmeister B

Worst. Thread. Ever.

Take it to the idiot forum.