More Relationship problems.......

LegacyUser

A quick question all comments welcome......How long before you should meet your boyfriends friends and family. Seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and he still has no intention of introducing me...im starting to think its me

dudara

I'd expect to meet them nearly from day one, or at least within a few weeks

Parents are a big deal and may take a while, but friends may happen sooner. I didn't meet my bf's parents for 6 months, but I met all his friends and his brother nearly straight away

Bamboozled

I was living with mine before I met his parents.

LegacyUser

We are moving in together in the next few days but I still think I should have met them by now, i'm starting to have second thoughts

dudara

Just ask him why you haven't met his friends at the very least.

fuzzywiggle

11 months sounds a bit long for him not to have introduced you. I met the bf's parents after a few weeks and he met mine after a couple of months. Why don't you just ask him?

Donegal Lass

Unreg0006 wrote:

We are moving in together in the next few days but I still think I should have met them by now, i'm starting to have second thoughts

honey get that sorted, it is a bit weird that you havent met them already but then again maybe he has a completely reasonable excuse! check it out tho, but dont worry about it too much or you'l just put a strain on yourself!

the Guru

Jesus 11 months, thats one of the first things you do it introduce you new paramour to your friends to see what they think, I would suggest that there is something really wrong here, I would confront him and find out.

Magic Pips

ask him why!

LegacyUser

I have but with no joy, it always leads to the i'm not ready and you don't trust me row..

Gordon

You don't sound ready to move in together tbh.

Ickle Magoo

Unreg0006 wrote:

I have but with no joy, it always leads to the i'm not ready and you don't trust me row..

Sounds mighty suspicious to me...he doesn't have a wife & three kids hidden back there does he?! :eek:

LegacyUser

Seems practical if his parents are total alcos or sumtin, believe you me I know where hes coming from

simu

That is weird. Even if his parents are majorly messed up, he should tell you. That's a large part of someone's life to know nothing about if you're going to move in with him.

judybaby

Do you live near his family/friends? I find it totally strange that you haven't meet his friends at least? Have you ever suggested that you would like to meet his mates and family??

colm_mcm

That sounds a bit odd to me, maybe he has something he doesn't want you to know?

0utshined

Unreg0006 wrote:

How long before you should meet your boyfriends friends and family. Seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and he still has no intention of introducing me...

You are not his girlfriend. Sorry

Whatever about meeting the parents, if you haven't met some of his friends by the six month mark there is a reason.

daRobot

Don't worry about the scaremongering above.Just because the dynamics of your relationship don't seem "Normal" to others, it doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything wrong.

It's very possible that your boyfriend likes to keep a lot of his life in different catagories, and seperate as such.

It's an easy suitation to fall into.You meet maybe 2 times a week, and most of the time you spend with each other,and you get comfortable and happy with the one on one attention.You don't have to be part of each others social group to be in a relationship.

As you're obviously concerned about it, just bring it up with him, and hear what he's got to say.

Spare yourself the drama of internet land, where people know far too little about your suitation to make any kind of solid judgement.

sceptre

Unreg0006 wrote:

A quick question all comments welcome......How long before you should meet your boyfriends friends and family. Seeing my boyfriend for 11 months...

I don't know anything about your situation but if I was going out with someone and never met any of her friends for the guts of a year, I'd assume there was something rather odd going on. Every single person I've ever gone out with or just hung around with for a few weeks has had me meet their friends pretty much the first time they weren't meeting mine. I'd say a few weeks at the outside. Family might be a bit longer, I once went out with someone for over two years who never met my family but I only went home twice in the two years which might have had something to do with it. And I'm someone who for a long time kept people in different boxes who hardly ever intermingled (the constant was that the person I was going out with was usually there).

LegacyUser

Cheers for all the replies guys i broke up with him last night, without going into all the details I know in my heart that I did the right thing.

Bamboozled

If you know you did the right thing, then thats half the battle.

Best of luck for the future.

Strokesfan

Maybe he's embarrassed by his family or doesn't want to put you through the trauma. I know someone who never took anyone home to his family when he was going out with them. His wife was the first girlfriend they ever met! It happens. I'd be a bit paranoid too, though but if you like him maybe ignore it for a while longer. When you start pestering things tend to go pear-shaped.

0utshined

Strokesfan wrote:

though but if you like him maybe ignore it for a while longer. When you start pestering things tend to go pear-shaped.

Unreg0006 wrote:

Cheers for all the replies guys i broke up with him last night, without going into all the details I know in my heart that I did the right thing.

Pythia

I met his mum after about a month and half of going out. I probably would've met her sooner except he's from the country.
After 3 months I stayed in his family home for the weekend and met everyone else.
I think this was ideal.
I was never allowed over to the house of my last boyfriend and it became a major topic of fights. It was one of many reasons we broke up.

Edit: Oh I see you broke up with him. Sounds like the right thing to do.

LegacyUser

He never had a problem bringing any other girlfriends home it seems to be just me,we live about 5 miles apart but he always came to my house because he drives and I don't, i'm 25 by the way so have had relationships before but never experienced this.