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LegacyUser

Ok Its a somebodys birthday on thursday and I really want to send them something, anything, even just a simple note saying happy birthday. The reason I am aphrensive is that the person I plan on sending the note to has an ambigious relationship with me. You see I really like this person but I dont know how they feel about me. I have know this person for years and have previously been friend with them. Now I dont know if I can be friends with them.

About a year ago I told them that I fancied them and asked said person out. My intel was incorrect and I was unaware they were going out with someone else and I was rejected, kindly but rejected none the less. Move up 6 months, a death in the family of the person I fancy and also breakup with then boyfriend. We were still on friendly terms seeing each other the odd time but after the breakup we started going out the odd time/kissing nothing serious. I was over the moon at this development and kinda let myself think that this can go somewhere like a relationship. I didnt ask anything from them as in relationshipwise just took it easy. I told them I know they have alot to deal with, death in family, getting out of a long relationship and that I was down for whatever. But I my own head I let myself be taken in by my own needs and wants while not putting pressure on them. So you know we meet up once at week maybe for a month or two having fun and a laugh.
Then another person dies who is close to the person of my affection and I presume the half stitched wounds of the previous bereavement are torn asunder. After this I have very little contact with this person and they did in fact move away back home. After a while of trying to get in contact with them, a phonecall or two with a extra few texts I give up. I wanted to give them their own space and I didnt want to appear needy.

This is where I'm at now havn't had any contact for at least 2 months and I deleted their mobile number in fear of giving into weakness and calling them when I was drunk or some such thing.I am trying to move on and I do go out and meet other people and have a good time and all that, but I still do think of that special person often and its eating away at me. It is their birthday soon and I was wondering if I should keep out of contact with them and move on or should I write them a short note just reminding them that I'm still here for them even though they are going through a **** time. Am I being concerned for a person I care about? Am I being selfish wanting them to be aware of me? I'm probably both. But I was just wondering what some other people think......

Sorry if this is a little hard to follow.

Dord

i'd say you should send them the card/letter wishing them happy birthday.
it shows to them that you havent forgotten about them and it might just brighten up their day. just keep the card/letter on a friends level. if you know what i mean.

TriWannabe

are u saying that you have left voice mesaages and texted them without reply? if so i wouldn't send them a card. if/when they want to contact you they will. i think they know u care already by you phoning/texting them.
what age are u, if you don't mind me asking.......

LegacyUser

I am 25.

Wing Walker

I'd have to agree with the card solution. It's enough to say that you remembered yet not too much to say you're needy.

It sounds as if the other person doesn't really want to have any contact at the moment. It may take a while before they're ready following the death of someone very close to them. Be patient. They may contact you, they may not.

In the meantime, you have to live your life. You don't know who else might be out there for you, staring you directly in the face, if you're still holding out some hope for this other person.

Best of luck with it.

hadook

I'd often find there were days when I'd ignore the phone/ texts months after my dad died simply because I didn't want to talk to someone who didn't (and couldn't) understand what I was going through. I didn't mean to blank out people but it did happen. In your case the lack of contact might mean that the person, right now, isn't in a place where they can cope with added complications.

I'd agree - send them a card. Maybe add a short bit about how you've changed phones & lost their number or something similar & ask them to get in contact if/when they have the time. Nice and non threatening

TriWannabe

hadook, did you not get annoyed with the texts even if yo had intentions of getting in touch someday?

LegacyUser

Im going to send the note, nothing heavy, not asking for their number, just a simple note. Happy bday hope all is well.

Dreamer 7

Yes good idea definitely send it, just a im thinking of you today. When ur down esp after a death in the family anything that can bring a smile to your face is priceless!