girl question

LegacyUser

hey

I know this is stupid and nothing compared to what lots of people go to.
i'm a 20 year old guy, and basically i was at a party a couple of nights ago and got my first kiss which is late i know but i've never had any luck with women... well it just kinda happened unexpectedly but it was nice. a few minutes later we bumped into each other again and we, uhh, went out the front alone and kissed some more and held hands.So i have the girl's number and I'm pretty sure I like her

but here's the crunch...
i think it seems that we liked each other but i dunno how to tell... we were kinda looking at each other on and off all night and we danced together (to "i wanna hold your hand", incidentally)
we were both quite drunk, and a few minutes after we kissed she got sick and kinda passed out on the couch for half an hour before me and someone else walked her home...

and basically i don't know if it was just a stupid drunken thing or if the fact that we kissed more than once means it was more serious and if it's ok to call her... i don't want to look like i'm chancing it because she was drunk... the last thing i am or want to be is a dodgy predator type.
i think i always have pretty low self esteem and self respect so i guess that's just that part of me talking again but i'm not knowledgeable at all on this stuff and i dunno if i'm meant to call after something like that that didn't involve much talking at all... what i'm trying to say is that she was quite out of it and i don't want to seem like a creep following up what to her seems like nothing at all... and i know it's because i've waited this long and it's never happened before that i'm making a big deal out of it.

so if i call her would she remember me or be like "whaaa?"... would you want to be called after something like that?

and if i do call what am i supposed to say? i'd like to see her again but i can't afford to take her out, i've been out of work for a while and am starting a new job v. soon but won't get paid for a while. is it ok to just go for a walk in the park or something like that to talk and see what's going on? is there anything i'm supposed to say?...

thanks for any advice, it's mucho appreciated.

johnnie.

delly

Well theres no harm in giving her a call and seeing what she thinks or remembers of the night. If you haven't much experience, then what you view as a big thing could be a regular weekend occurrance to her. Give her a shout, sound it out, but don't be to disappointed if she brushs you off.

In terms of going out, I suppose a walk in the park would be ok, but a casual drink or two in the local would be better. Nothing heavy, just a few quite pints.

Moojuice

call her and be cool about it. Act surprised if her memory of that night is a little hazy. It could well have been a drunken thing but dont waste time worrying about it. Chalk it up to experience if it goes no where and move on.

Call her. You should always regret the things you do, not the things that you dont do.

LegacyUser

hey just ring her. if she says no put it down to experience that getting involved with drunk girls is not the way to go. and a walk in the park is acceptable. talking is more important then dinners or going to the films. moojuice is right, its true ppl live to regret things they did not do as opposed to things they did do. i learnt that inpsychology 1st yr arts haha

slumped

Chances are that she will have vague recollections about being with "someone".

RIng her and see if shes up for it.

If shes a bitch to you then you know to move on,

S

Gateway

LOL! Those kind of parties brings back fond memories!

Just bite the bullet and do it. She could be thinking the same thing. Believe me there's plenty of way more embarrassing moments to come before you hit 30, but like me you'll look back and laugh at those times.

It's all part of the game...

Have fun.

LegacyUser

thanks, i've decided to go ahead and do it... if it works out then fine.

i always told myself my first kiss would mean something, but even if this one didn't, i don't regret it, we'd been dancing and it felt right and i think we both enjoyed it so that's ok...

i have a little money in another account so i'll be able to afford to take her out for a couple of pints

thanks for the advice everyone. i'll call or text her and see how she is, and if it goes ok i'll "ask her out"

if anyone has any advice as to what the, uhh, legitimate wording for the question is, then tell me, because "wanna go out with me?" sounds cringeworthy.

Black Swan

Call her! Be polite. Show interest. Avoid using "one liner" pick up language. Just be yourself. Don't dwell or otherwise bring up the fact she was drunk when you first met. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained!"

fuzzywiggle

Em..I'd give her a text. Wouldn't straight out ring her because that could be embarrassing! Especially if she doesn't remember you. You could have the whole ''who's this? ooooh right, eh...hows things'' conversation and what else would you talk about really. I know it was your first kiss and it is special for you and all that but it's not really that big of a deal. Just because she kissed you on a drunken night out doesn't necessarily mean she wants to start going out with you so be prepared for rejection. I think your chances would have been better if she hadn't of been so drunk. Anyway I'd just text her saying something like ''hey, how's it going? have a good weekend?'' or somehing along those lines. Good luck!

Velvet Vocals

Hi OP! You sound like such a nice a guy!!I'm sure that regardless of weather she has a full recollection she'll be delighted to hear from you!
If you feel good about it then go for it! I think the idea of texting first might save you some awkward questions.... but on the other hand phoning is the stronger thing to do which she might respect.
Best of luck, hope it goes well!


Out of the other side of my mouth I just wanted to say that before you phone her you should about this. Are you calling because you really liked her and would like to see her again or is it just because she's the first girl you kissed?

koneko

A dodgy predator type would have done something while she was drunk, not contacted her days later, sober

You have nothing to lose by just sending her a text or calling her.

"Wanna go out with me?" is a bit secondary school though. Ask her if she wants to go for a drink/coffee, or "do you want to meet up sometime?".

deaddonkey

ok, i don't know why i went anynmous for this

anyway it was me.



so i texted her today and she replied quickly and we've been texting on and off through the afternoon/evening. she hasn't replied to my last one but it doesn't bother me.
thanks for the advice everyone, i appreciate it. if i get a chance i'll try to arrange to see her this weekend or next if she's up for it...

thanks again.

Saint something: both of those reasons i think... it happened so smoothly and we got on well and i want to see her again because i think i like her and also because it happened and we both (seemed) to enjoy it i don't see the point in not persuing (sp?) it further...

delly

Well done

Húrin

johnnie wrote:

i have a little money in another account so i'll be able to afford to take her out for a couple of pints

Don't think that you should have to pay for any of her stuff. I often prefer to go out where we don't have to spend money, and now that it's the summer it's good for that.

Donegal Lass

hope all goes well, dont be worried about the location as if she is any way sound at all, all she'l care about is spending time getting to know you! its a pity there arent a few more like you floating about!:) let us know how it goes!!;)

Marksie

Donegal Lass wrote:

its a pity there arent a few more like you floating about!:) let us know how it goes!!;)

They are around donegal lass lol.

Just be yourself on your date. I think that your behaviour was very chivalrous, and it will show.

i wish you both well!

deaddonkey

we kept on texting and i asked if she'd be up for a couple of drinks and a walk last night.
no reply yet, she's replied to everything quickly until now.

either she's teasing me or she's saying no or i'm paranoid.(most likely)

i can live with it, plenty more fish in the sea etc, it does piss me off though that everytime i've asked someone out it's turned into silence or "we should just be friends" etc.

oh well.

and yes, i probably should have rang her, but i didn't have the guts and i figured that if i started by texting i should keep doing it until i had something concrete.

michaela

deaddonkey wrote:

we kept on texting and i asked if she'd be up for a couple of drinks and a walk last night.
no reply yet, she's replied to everything quickly until now.

either she's teasing me or she's saying no or i'm paranoid.(most likely)

i can live with it, plenty more fish in the sea etc, it does piss me off though that everytime i've asked someone out it's turned into silence or "we should just be friends" etc.

oh well.

and yes, i probably should have rang her, but i didn't have the guts and i figured that if i started by texting i should keep doing it until i had something concrete.

did she text you back???

Húrin

deaddonkey wrote:

and yes, i probably should have rang her, but i didn't have the guts and i figured that if i started by texting i should keep doing it until i had something concrete.

Just call her! Nothing bad will come of that!!!

Marksie

Try to be positive.
Text back atlking about something else, or just call her. I find that texting, while fun, is a very difficult medium for relating complex issues.
especially when you are waiting for a text reply!
Phone and just talk to her, in that way at least you know.

Miss Fluff

little question wrote:

i'm a 20 year old guy, and basically i was at a party a couple of nights ago and got my first kiss which is late i know but i've never had any luck with women...

Hey Johnnie, that's great. You must be well chuffed.:D

All I can say is faint heart never won fair lady so just call her and ask her out!! Good luck

Don't worry if she says no, it's not a marriage proposal. Sounds like she liked you though so hope it goes well:p

deaddonkey

michaela wrote:

did she text you back???

nope, nothing.

i'm building up the guts to call her and see what happens.

thanks everyone.

zeusnero

afraid to say it sounds like you're flogging a dead donkey - be prepared on the phone call - and whateer you do don't try to push her into meeting up or its over...

zeusnero

still best of luck though

LadyJ

deaddonkey wrote:

nope, nothing.

i'm building up the guts to call her and see what happens.

thanks everyone.

I don't mean to sound harsh here but I don't think she's interested and I think it would be a bad idea to call her.

If she wanted to see you again then she would have texted back. Perhaps she has no credit but if this is the case then she'd surely find some other way of contacting you.

The ball is in her court. Keep the old dignity here and leave it alone.

Lust4Life

Aw! Deaddonkey, sounds like you need a big hug!!!!

Maybe you should have said "Well, I've seen how you are drunk. Wanna go for coffee so I can get to know that side of you too?"
Coffee's cheaper than pints anyway! Get her on a caffiene high and she'll talk your ear off!

Keep us informed on how it goes!

Hugs!

L4L

Sandie-B

Please don't call her.

You have done your part! you make first contact and you asked her out.

If she's thinking about it then the last thing she needs is u calling. She could also be trying to build up suspense (don't ask me why but some girls are like that) and u'd ruin it!! Also she could be trying to redeem herself by playing a little hard to get?

I'm a girl and have been my whole life and I still don't understand how our reasoning works when it comes to boys!!!!

What you've done is plenty and it's up to her now. Lets do our best to hang on to some pride!!!

Be cool :cool: